They say your age is just a number. But do you know that things actually change when you get older?
You become forgetful. Your movements get restricted because of certain physical issues. Your social equation with people changes. And you become more and more experienced.
But that doesn’t mean you are going to enjoy life any less. In fact, this is the time you get to enjoy your life to the fullest, as you don’t have to worry about getting up in the morning and going to work. Because, in most cases, you are already retired.
Now, it is true that you cannot do or rather prefer not to do certain things that you used to do when you were younger, as your preferences change when you age.
So, what can you do to keep your life happy and content?
This is where humor comes into the picture!
They say laughter is the best medicine. And I truly and wholeheartedly believe that. If you are happy from the inside, you ought to have a happy outcome.
And one of the many ways to stay happy is to share and listen to jokes. To help you with that, I have come up with a collection of the most humorous jokes about getting old.
So, put your specs on and enjoy!
The Best Jokes About Getting Old and Forgetful
These days, we don’t need to get old in order to be forgetful. I’m in my early thirties, and I’m already forgetful!
Sometimes, I look for my TV remote when I’m already holding it in my hand. Looking at that, you can say I’m getting older, after all!
No matter if you are in your 50s, 60s, 70s, or 80s, you need to always have humor in your life. Laughter keeps your heart happy, keeping you well, and you end up being a happy and fit person.
Now, you don’t have to look for ways to make yourself laugh. I have done the hard work for you by coming up with a list of the most exciting jokes about aging and being forgetful.
I have made a few sections for different kinds of jokes. All you have to do is sit back, relax, and move your eyes from one joke to another. And trust me, you will have a great time laughing your heart out!
Hilarious Jokes About Old Age
Just as wine tastes better when it ages, you become more experienced and mature with age. And as everything has its own perks and downsides, getting old has them, too.
But to lead a happy life, you need to see things from a lighter angle. And I’ll help you do that with the following jokes.
These are some of the most hilarious jokes about old age and are bound to make you laugh. You can share them with your friends and family and have a great time!
Why did the old man fall into the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
Why are seniors great at math?
Because they’ve been counting their blessings for years.
Why do seniors never answer the phone?
Because they’re too busy trying to find it.
Why did the senior cross the road?
Because they forgot where they parked their car.
What is a senior’s favorite board game?
Sorry, I forgot.
Why do seniors carry their driver’s license with them?
In case they forget who they are.
Why did the old woman put wheels on her rocking chair?
She wanted to Rock n Roll!
Why don’t seniors get mad?
They always forget what they were angry about.
Why do seniors go to bed early?
So they can dream about the good old days.
How do seniors get their exercise?
Getting up and going to the bathroom.
Why don’t seniors enjoy roller coasters?
They’ve already had enough ups and downs in their life.
Why don’t seniors need to go to the gym?
They get plenty of exercise from walking down memory lane.
What’s similar between a grandma and a website?
You can’t deny the cookies.
Why do seniors nap after lunch?
To get some well-needed rest after the day’s biggest event.
Why was the senior speeding?
To get where he was going before he forgot where he was going.
How do you make a senior angry?
You forget to give them their medication.
Why don’t old people like to travel?
Because they’re already where they want to be.
What did the old man say to the woman at the bar?
“Tell me something, do I come here often?”
You know what they say about getting older?
Yeah, I don’t remember either.
You know you’ve reached old age?
when your back goes out more than you do.
A sure sign of aging:
Your train of thought often leaves the station without you.
Short Jokes About Getting Old
Let’s start with the short ones, shall we?
If you are just starting out with jokes, and you want to remember and share them with your friends of similar age, these jokes are just what you need.
These are short and, hence, easy to remember. And they are highly humorous, guaranteeing a time full of laughter. You will actually end up enjoying your old age.
So, what are you waiting for?
Dive right in!
What’s the secret to having a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
What is a prize old people can win for aging?
Atrophy
I used to know a couple who grew fruit trees together.
They lived to a ripe old age.
What’s the best part of old age?
That it doesn’t last very long.
These are not gray hairs!
They are wisdom highlights.
Which underwear brand do seniors love best?
It Depends.
Old age makes us great multitaskers, Why?
I can sneeze and pee at the same time!
One benefit of old age is that your secrets are always safe with your friends?
Because they can’t remember them!
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind getting older Then?
It really doesn’t matter.
Why do old people love English muffins so much?
All the nooks and grannies.
Stop thinking of them as “hot flashes.”
Think of them as your inner child playing with matches.
How is the moon like dentures?
Both come out at night.
Now that I’ve gotten older, everything’s finally starting to click for me.
My knees, my back, my neck.
I’ve decided: Whatever age I am is the?
New 30!
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.
I called the incontinence hotline recently.
They asked if I could hold.
Of all your children, the only one who won’t grow up and move
Away is your husband.
I always wanted to marry Mrs. Right. I just didn’t know her first name was going to be?
Always.
An old woman is sitting at a bar when an older gentleman sits down beside her. “So,” he says,
Do I come here often
My doctor told me I need to sweat daily,
So I told him I’d start disobeying my wife.
My husband cooks for me like I’m a goddess
By placing burnt offerings before me.
Where can single men over 65 find younger women who are interested in them?
In the bookstore, under “Fiction.”
Bickering with your spouse is like trying to read the Terms of Use for a new service.
In the end, you just give up and click “I agree.”
Why should you marry someone older than you?
As your looks fade, so will their eyesight.
After a big fight, my wife yelled at me, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.
So I replied, “That may be true, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.
Dirty Jokes About Getting Old
Dirty jokes are always the topper of any joke session. And you seem to enjoy it more after a certain age.
In my case, it all started when I was in college. I used to have a few friends in our group who would always come up with dirty ways of making the rest of us laugh. The dirtier they were, the more we would laugh!
The same goes for dirty jokes about getting old. And there are so many of them.
So, I have dedicated this section to all the fellow dirty-minded adults who enjoy a bit of naughtiness.
Read on and spread the laughter!
If you lose something in a senior care home, don’t stop looking until you’ve searched every nook and granny.
The old man moved to Hawaii to live the life of a dentured surfing dude.
Do elderly hockey players get gerihat-tricks?
Pastry chefs know that old age crepes up on you.
The old folks home was very secure. Each door was guarded by a century.
You may be old, but I don’t carrot all.
Be kind to your children, because when you get older, they’re the ones who are going to choose your nursing home.
Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
Aging gracefully is a nice way of saying you’re slowly looking worse.
At my age, the only pole dancing I do is holding onto the safety bar in the bathtub.
The older we get, the earlier it gets late.
Old people are just young people who have been alive for a very, very long time.
Only old people watch the Grammy Awards.
Why am I getting older and wider instead of older and wiser?
Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.
The old baker understands aging she’s an old tarte.
You know what the young chicken said to the old?
You’re no spring chicken.
Age got muffin on you.
My father-in-law is so old that his driver’s license says, “Picture may be of someone else.”
How are stars like false teeth?
They both come out at night.
What musical genre do older people with arthritis listen to every time they sit down and stand up?
Pop.
You know you’re old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor’s office.
The good thing about getting older is that you don’t have to worry about things like acne anymore.
The bad thing is that you start worrying about new things, like wrinkles and gray hair.
What’s the key to a structured retirement?
A rigid nap schedule.
Isn’t it a great feeling knowing you’re so old there’s nothing left to learn the hard way?
You know you’re old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.
Why was the retiree’s wife tired?
She got twice as much her husband for half the pay.
Knock-Knock Jokes About Getting Old
Knock-knock jokes have always been my favorite kind of jokes. I love how they start with a simple knock-knock and then end up with a hilarious answer.
The best thing about these jokes is that they keep you and the listener engaged, as they need to interact with you in order to get to the end of the joke. This makes the whole thing super exciting.
Kids mostly prefer these jokes, as they are easy to remember. And because of the same reason, they are liked by aging and forgetful adults as well. You can remember them easily and flaunt your newly learned jokes to your friends and family.
Wouldn’t that be great?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Candice
Candice who?
Candice door open, or what?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see you!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel!
Nobel who?
No bell, that’s why I knocked.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out here.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin time for dinner!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wanda
Wanda who?
Wanda hang out with me tonight?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alma
Alma who?
Alma-ty my dear Watson!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Wooden
Wooden shoe who?
Wooden shoe like to hear another joke?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Old age.
Old age who?
I Forgot.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Arthur.
Arthur who?
Arthur, any good memories of your youth?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
Yes, I’m afraid it’s time for your annual check-up.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Nobel.
Nobel who?
No bell can unring the fact that we’re getting older.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frankly, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t ache somewhere.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hue.
Hue who?
Hue cares if I can’t remember my own name at this point?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive to tell you that it’s time for your nap.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca cane and I can barely walk these days.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Sage.
Sage who?
Sage advice: stay young at heart, no matter how old you get.
One Liners About Getting Old
The more you age, the more you tend to like one-liners.
These are single sentences that come with a punch of laughter. The best thing about one-liners is that you can use them in various situations. You can use them during comedy breaks, as icebreakers, and the list goes on and on.
A successful one-liner is clever, witty, full of irony, relies on wordplay, and comes with unexpected twists. And they are a hit on social media platforms as well.
So, if you want to make people have a good laugh, you can share the following well-crafted one-liners.
Of course, one-liners are not for everyone, as they don’t entertain non-witty people. So, choose your audience before you proceed!
My mum always used to say “40 is the new 30”.
Lovely woman banned from driving.
Transitional age is when during a hot day you don’t know what you want?
Ice cream or beer.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
When I was a boy, I had a disease that required me to eat dirt three times a day in order to survive.
It’s a good thing my older brother told me about it.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
I like older men because they’ve gotten used to life’s disappointments. Which means?
They’re ready for me.
Being an adult is just walking around wondering what you’re forgetting.
Everyone my age is older than me.
You’re old enough to remember when emojis were called?
Hieroglyphics.
He is so old that he gets nostalgic when he sees the Neolithic cave paintings.
Few women admit their age; few men act it.
Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun a lot more work.
My kids are at an age now where they are beginning to understand embarrassment.
This is my time to shine.
Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.
How do you know your old?
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”
When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body. Then I was born
You’re not old until a teenager describes you as middle-aged.
Parenting is filled with wonder. Like wondering why your 4 years old raced into the kitchen and quietly grabbed a handful of napkins.
My teenage angst has lasted 30 years.
I always wanted to marry an Archeologist. The older I would get, the more interested she would become!
Middle age is when you’re faced with two temptations and you choose the one that will get you home by nine o’clock.
I’m at the age where I have to make a noise when I bend over. It’s the law.
As I get older and remember all the people I’ve lost along the way. I think to myself maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.
Work hard and save your money and when you are old you will be able to buy the things only the young can enjoy.
I’ve never played the bagpipes but I have carried a screaming three-year-old toddler over my shoulder.
I don’t care what you think you’re good at, there’s a 7-year-old kid on YouTube doing it better.
Birthday Jokes About Getting Old
Birthday wishes are no doubt a wonderful gift to people of all ages. But how about those birthday wishes that make you remember how you are getting old with a punch of humor?
The following is a list of the most outrageous yet hilarious birthday wishes that you can share with your older friends on their birthday. This will remind them that they are getting old – in a funny way!
Birthdays aren’t as fun when you’re older, but fortunately you don’t have many more to go.
You’re so old, I heard your social security number is?
3.
You know you’re old when the candles cost more than the cake.
Congratulations on being able to cough, fart, sneeze, and pee at the same time!
With old age comes great wisdom and hairs in weird places that need to be plucked.
Your birthday is becoming a serious fire hazard with all those candles.
I wanted to give you a funny card, but I was concerned that at your age you might pee yourself.
Does it feel weird being the same age as old people?
Things that age well: Wine. Cheese. You.
Don’t you wish that you were as old as the first time you thought you were old?
So how old are we pretending to be this year?
I’m not going to make any hilarious jokes about getting old because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
You’re not old, you’re 30 (plus shipping and handling).
One year closer to being back in diapers.
Allow me to suggest that this is the year you start lying about your age.
Congrats on being ancient.
It’s your birthday – smile while you still have teeth!
Happy birthday! You don’t look a day older than dirt.
Don’t worry about getting older. You’re still going to do dumb stuff, only slower.
Happy birthday, dear friend. Now cash that social security check and let’s party like crazy!
Happy birthday to someone who has seen it all, done it all, and doesn’t remember a lick of it.
Happy birthday! Remember, be nice to your kids because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
Live each day as if it were your last… because at your age, it just might be.
It’s amazing that at our age, we still don’t need glasses. That’s because we drink straight from the bottle. Cheers on your birthday!
Conclusion
Aging is inevitable. You can’t stop it. Once you are born, you are bound to get older every year. How about you embrace this aging process with grace and laughter?
So, did you like my list of jokes about getting old? Which of them cracked you up the most?
Let me know in the comments!