I don’t know about you, but every time someone has a birthday I feel like birthday jokes are totally needed. But sometimes jokes are hard to come up with! So we are sharing the very best birthday jokes to include in cards, tell them in person, or on the phone.
These birthday jokes are guaranteed to make everyone laugh no matter whose birthday it is.
50+ Very Best Birthday Jokes
Q. What do penguins sing on a birthday?
A. Freeze a jolly good fellow!
Q. Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock?
A. Because it was marble cake!
Q. How does the cat celebrate its birthday?
A. By turning up the mewsic.
Q. Why were there balloons in the bathroom?
A. There was a birthday potty!
Q. What is the meaning of a true friend?
A. One who remembers your birthday but not your age!
Q. Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
A. Because people kept toasting him!
Q. Why do candles love birthdays so much?
A. They just wanna get lit!
Q. What kind of birthday cake does Elsa like?
A. The kind with lots of frosting and icing!
Q. Why can’t kids remember past birthdays?
A. Because they are too focused on the present.
Q. What do you always get on your birthday?
A. Another year older!
Q. What happens when you invite a thief to your birthday party?
A. They take the cake!
Q. What is it about birthdays that make kangaroos unhappy?
A. They only get to celebrate them in leap years!
Q. Why did the robber break into the bakery?
A. She heard the cakes were rich.
Q. Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one?
A. No, they both burn shorter!
Q. Why did the student eat their homework?
A. Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Q. Why are birthday’s good for you?
A. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!
Q. What did the tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
A. It’s roar birthday!
Q. Did you hear about the tree’s birthday?
A. It was a sappy one!
Q. What does every birthday end with?
A. The letter Y.
Q. What do you say to a kangaroo on its birthday?
A. Hoppy birthday!
Q. What do cakes and baseball teams have in common?
A. They both need a good batter.
Q. What did the elephant want for his birthday?
A. A trunk full of gifts.
Q. What do you call an international birthday party held for a spider?
A. The world wide web.
Q. Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
A. In a cat-alogue!
Q. What do people in hell give each other for their birthdays?
A. Hotcakes.
Q. What do you say to your goldfish on his birthday
A. Have a fin-tastic day.
Q. How do people who live around volcanoes celebrate their birthdays?
A. With a birthday quake.
Q. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
A. They relish the moment!
Q. Why was the shipping vessel so excited to come home?
A. Because it was his berth-day.
Q. What did the teddy bear say when it was offered some birthday cake?
A. No thanks, I’m stuffed.
Q. Why did Snow White want the dwarf to really enjoy his birthday party?
A. Because life is short.
Q. Why did the birthday cake visit the psychologist?
A. Because it was feeling crumby!
Q. Why did the birthday cake go to the party feeling inadequate?
A. He didn’t have the right ingredients.
Q. What kind of birthday cake do you get for a coffee lover?
A. Choco-latte.
Q. Why did Mike Tyson storm out of the birthday party angry?
A. They were out of punch.
Q. When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A. When you slice it!
Q. What did the grape say to the guests at his birthday party?
A. Eat, drink and be berry.
Q. What goes up and never comes down?
A. Your age.
Q. Why do golfers prefer a birthday donut over a birthday cake?
A. Because there is a hole in one.
Q. What did the elephant want for his birthday?
A. A trunk full of gifts!
Q. Why didn’t the hen attend rooster’s birthday party?
A. She was too chicken.
Q. What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?
A. Mice cream and cake.
Q. How do you know when planning a birthday party is easy?
A. When it’s a piece of cake.
Q. What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles?
A. No cake for me… I’m stuffed!
Q. How did Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
A. He had a whale of a time.
Q. What did the witch do on her birthday?
A. She spellabrates.
Q. Why do we put candles on the top of birthday cakes?
A. Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
Q. What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?
A. Get married on his birthday.
Q. What did the bald guy say when he was given a comb for his birthday?
A. Thanks, I’ll never part with it.
Q. What sort of birthday food do ghosts prefer?
A. I scream cake!
Q. What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven?
A. Angel food cake.
Q. Doctor, doctor! I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.
A. Next time, take off the candles!
Q. What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
A. They were all born on holidays.
Q. What do you get a hunter for his birthday?
A. A birthday pheasant!
Q. What’s the easiest way to remember your wife’s birthday?
A. Forget it once!
Q. Why don’t birthday candles ever exercise?
A. They burn out too quickly!
Q. What do mussels do on their birthdays?
A. They shell-ebrate!
Q. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
A. Aye matey!
There you have it! Some of the best birthday jokes! Share your favorites in the comments below!
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