What comes to your mind when I say apples?
Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is my iPhone!
But, of course, many people, especially kids, will say that they are thinking about the fruit apple. Are you one of them?
Then this post is for you.
Apple is such a fruit that almost everyone likes. People enjoy savoring this sweet and juicy fruit during its season. Of course, there are exceptions, and I am one of them.
No, I’m not fond of apples, but my two-year-old LOVES them. Does your kid have a liking for this fruit too?
How about doubling the enjoyment with some jokes about this fruit?
Yes, jokes about apples do exist. And I have a vast collection of it. You can share these jokes with anyone, no matter their age.
Jokes have the power to change the entire atmosphere of a gathering. Whether you are arranging a get-together with your friends or having a family night with your near and dear ones, sharing jokes can make everyone have the heartiest laugh.
It makes your bond deeper and helps you relieve at least some stress from the entire week. And as you already know, laughter is the best medicine for a happy and healthy life.
So, are you ready to make the most of your gatherings and parties and bring a bright smile to the face of your loved ones?
Read some good Apple jokes.
Funny Apple Jokes for Everyone
Jokes are always funny, no matter the topic. But things become all the more enjoyable when you choose a topic in which the person has a particular interest.
It applies to Apple jokes as well. If you share funny apple jokes with people who love this fruit, they will find it more humorous and have a great time laughing.
Now, you don’t have to scratch your head looking for the right apple jokes for your favorite people. After all, the jokes for kids will differ from those for adults.
I have done the hard work for you!
I have compiled a list of some of the funniest apple jokes. And to make it easier for you to sort, I have divided the list into sections.
All you need is to jump right to the section you are looking for.
So, are you ready to make people laugh?
Read on.
What do you call a person who saw an apple store getting robbed?
An iWitness.
How do you make an apple puff?
Chase it round the garden.
Apple has come up with a new revolutionary eye patch for pirates.
It’s called the iEye patch.
Why should you not fart in an apple store?
Cause they don’t have windows.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apple gets picked.
Steve Jobs would’ve been a better president than Trump.
But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair
Why do apples avoid being seen with Martha Stewart?
to avoid suspicion of in-cider trading.
hey’re teaching apple juicing down the road from me, but it got cancelled before I could go.
It was a pressing issue.
Apple is releasing a new product called the iKnife.
It’s cutting-edge technology.
Apple’s cars will not be that popular…
Because they don’t support windows.
My neighbor says he is too afraid to plant an apple tree.
I told him, “Grow a pear”!
I think Apple is run by trendy pirates.
They’re always updating to a new iPatch.
Did you know that Apple makes your eyes feel better?
They call it iDrops.
What type of computer does a horse like to eat?
A Macintosh.
Random Apple Jokes
Do you know that there are tons of jokes on Apple?
If not, don’t worry. You will know now.
This section is comprised of all the random jokes that are available on Apple. These are clean jokes which means you can share these with both your kids and older family members.
To make the session of sharing jokes more enjoyable, you can plan it after dinner, with some drinks and snacks.
Following are some ridiculous apple jokes!
If Apple made a car what would it be missing?
Windows…
What do you call an end to all fruits?
An apple-colypse.
Apple is set to release its new electric smart car in 2024…
It will be the first apple product with windows.
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iPhones overheating?
Downloading images of Kim Kardashian!
What do you call an iPhone that isn’t kidding around?
Dead Siri-ous.
How can you tell which one of your friends has the new iPhone 6s plus?
Don’t worry, they’ll let you know.
How many Apple iPhone early adopters does it take to change a light bulb?
3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion a day do?
Keeps everyone away.
Why didn’t the two worms go into Noah’s ark in an apple?
Because everyone had to go in pairs!
What’s an apple’s favorite movie?
Mr. and Mr. Smith.
Where do bugs go to watch the big game?
Apple-Bees.
What do you call an apple that’s been around the world?
Johnny Appleseed.
What did the apple say to the almond?
You’re Nuts!
Why are apples afraid to grow in the United States?
Because they don’t want to be as American as apple pie.
How do you get the most apples at Halloween?
Take a snorkel.
Puns on Apples
Who doesn’t like puns?
We all like it. And when the puns are on a fruit such as an apple, it becomes all the more exciting, especially if you are fond of this fruit.
Now, tell me, are you excited to get your hands on some funny puns on apples?
Scroll down!
What’s an apple’s favorite restaurant?
Applebee’s.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit?
Apple-bearer
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A crab apple!
How many apples grow on a tree?
All of them.
What has apples and 3.14 slices?
An apple Pi.
Who’s an apple’s favorite relative?
Granny.
How do you make an apple turnover?
Push it down hill.
What do an apple and an unpaid bill have in common?
Both keep the doctor away.
How am I supposed to find the Big Apple?
I don’t even know where the Minneapolis!
Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory?
Because they have such a high turnover rate.
How do you know if an apple is a lady?
It has a fruit purse.
What do you call an apple with a criminal record?
A bad apple.
How do you make an apple juice?
Put it in a juicer.
What do you call an apple that’s always on time?
A timely McIntosh.
How do you know when an apple is ripe?
It stops hanging around with its friends and starts going bad.
Funny Apple Fruit Jokes
If you search the internet, you will find many jokes about fruits. And one such fruit is the apple.
Jokes are great conversation starters. When you are at a party and want to start a conversation with someone you haven’t talked to before, you can share a joke relevant to the scenario.
It will help you start a conversation on a funny note, and you will have a great time knowing each other.
If you want to talk to someone and see them having a bite from an apple, you can ask them, “Do you know what can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?” If they don’t know the answer, you can say, “It can look round.”
It’s sure to make the other person smile. For more such awesome jokes on the apple fruit, look below.
What kind of apple isn’t an apple?
pineapple.
Why was the apple afraid of the milk?
The milk went bad.
What’s is an Egyptian apple pie?
The kind mummy used to make.
Why didn’t the boy choose the apple over the pear?
He liked the apple butter.
Why did the man eat apples at the bank?
He wanted to eat rich food.
Why did the apple stop in the middle of the road?
It ran out of juice.
If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 apple pies in the other, what do you have?
Very big hands
What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
Pine apple.
Who was the pie’s favourite pop star?
Apple Pie Spice
Who led all the apples to the bakery?
The Pie Piper
Why did the apple turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
What did the apple skin say to the apple who couldn’t afford bus fare?
Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered
Why did the apple join the circus?
He loved all the apple-ause.
What kind of apples do they eat in the desert?
Camel (caramel) apples.
Why did the apple become a detective?
It wanted to get to the core of the mystery!
What do you call an apple that’s a comedian?
A funny-fruit!
Why did the apple get in trouble at school?
It kept starting apple-polish movements!
What did the apple say to the grapefruit?
“You’re too bitter for my taste!”
What do you call an apple that’s always reading?
A book-worm-fruit!
Why did the apple feel cold?
It was stuck in the fruit-cicles!
Apple Jokes for Adults
Are you in the mood to flirt?
Suppose you are at a party and you like someone. But you don’t know what to say, as you don’t know what that person likes to talk about. If you answer “yes,” you can share Apple jokes with adults.
In this scenario, sharing jokes is your safest bet!
You can casually walk up to that person and say a flirtatious joke that tells your intention.
“If you were a fruit, you would be a fine apple.
But you and me? We could be a pear.”
Something like the above one. Do you like it?
Also, if you are with your gang of friends, you can share adult jokes on Apple and see how they crack up.
Following are some adult jokes that you might like.
Why don’t robots like apples?
They’re androids!
My neighbor apple loves to roam around at odd places and odd hours.
They called themselves Liberty.
The husband and wife apple remembered the time back in the day?
when they were performed as Gala stars.
When the young Apple saw the apple called Lady Alice
he was Smitten.
What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet?
A tooty fruity!
What kind of apple did Charlie Brown get for the red-haired girl?
Ginger gold.
What do you call Apple pie who is smoking?
A baked apple pie!
Why did the blonde put her iPad in the juicer?
She was trying to make apple juice.
Why was the apple uncomfortable in the fruit bowl?
It’s Pear pressure.
What is the ending of a married apple in a movie?
They lived apple-ly ever after.
What does a gym instructor say to an apple?
You have to strengthen your core.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can’t do?
It can look round.
Why did the apple join a dating app?
It was looking for a good pear.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a karaoke machine?
A fruity tune.
Why did the apple go to the plastic surgeon?
It wanted a more apple-ling appearance.
What do you call an apple that’s a cougar?
A Granny Cougar.
Why did the apple go to the therapist?
It had some serious commitment issues.
What do you call an apple that’s a gigolo?
A fruity hustler.
Why did the apple go to the tattoo parlor?
It wanted to get an apple-tat.
Knock-Knock Apple Jokes
Knock-knock jokes are my favorite kind of jokes. They are super awesome.
What happens here is that you say, “Knock-knock,” and the other person says, “Who’s there.” And then you come up with your hilarious answer.
No matter what your topic of joke is, knock-knock jokes will always be my first choice. And did I tell you what I like the most about these jokes?
They make the other person take part in the joke-sharing process. They are highly interactive and never fail to make the other person giggle.
You can share knock knock apple jokes with adults and kids, as people of all ages will surely enjoy it.
You can include these jokes in your family game night once you are done playing. This way, you can ensure that all your loved ones go to bed with huge smiles.
Following are some of my favorite knock knock apple jokes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple your hair if you don’t let me in.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
An apple.
An apple who?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple-lutely nothing, how about you?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you going to let me in?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple be seeing you.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s cold out here.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple-tizer before dinner?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple-y ever after.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?
Apple-ogize for knocking.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lime.
Lime who?
Lime me a dime and I’ll tell you.
Apple Jokes for Kids
If you have a kid, all you want in a get-together is to keep them engaged. Relatable much?
And one of the best ways you can do that is to keep some jokes aside just for them. Yes, you read that right.
As jokes are interactive, especially the question-answer ones, they have the power to keep your kids hooked to them. They will be curious about the answer and use their brain to think.
And as the subject is apple here, you kids will be all the more interested in the jokes than ever. After all, apples are something they might eat regularly. And they know the fruit very well.
If they like the jokes, they will memorize them and share them with their friends in school.
Wouldn’t that be amazing?
Why did the farmer decide to hang raincoats all over his orchard?
Someone told him to get Apple Macs.
What did the apple say to the pie?
You’ve got some crust.
What did the apple say to the walnut?
You’re nuts.
What lives in an apple and loves to read?
A bookworm.
What do you call a fruit that’s rough around the edges?
A bad apple.
What kind of apple has a short temper?
A crab apple.
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm after you’ve taken a bite.
What do you call a grumpy apple?
A crab apple.
What do you get if you cross an apple with a computer?
An Apple Mac.
What did the man say to the boy when they watched a fruit race?
What do you think of them apples?
What do you call an apple that can do magic tricks?
A magic apple.
Why did the apple tree break up with the pear tree?
Because it didn’t want to be pear-ly anymore.
What do you call an apple that’s been on a diet too long?
A shriveled apple.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a ghost?
A fruit that goes BOO!
Why did the apple go to space?
To visit the Milky Way.
What do you call an apple that can swim?
A snorkel apple.
Why did the apple go to the dentist?
To get a crown.
What do you call an apple that’s good at karate?
A chop-apple.
What do you get when you cross an apple with a donut?
A fruit loop!
Why did the apple take a bath?
Because it wanted to be squeaky clean.
Apple and Doctor Jokes
Can you show me at least one person who hasn’t heard the line “An apple a day keeps the doctor away?”
This line is something that we ALL grew up hearing. I tell this line to my toddler now!
So, you can understand how big of a connection an apple has with a doctor. And this section is all about that.
Here I have compiled a list of some hilarious apple and doctor jokes that will surely crack you up.
You can share these with kids to make them laugh, as they already know the abovementioned line. Also, you can share these with your adult friends and make fun of them.
I’m sure you all will become nostalgic about your childhood days!
They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away…
I grew a whole damn orchard and still can’t get rid of these medical bills
My Grandma always used to say, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away. “
I don’t know if that’s true, or just one of Granny’s myths.
If you don’t believe ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away’…
try throwing it harder next time.
Everyone says “an apple a day keeps the doctor away” is a incorrect statement
But I’m starting to think people just aren’t as good at throwing as I am.
A doctor and a lawyer loved the same girl
Everyday the doctor brought her roses, while the lawyer got her an apple, without fail. One day, the girl decides to ask the lawyer why the apples, to which the lawyer replies, “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”
A doctor and an engineer both want to date the same girl.
The doctor decides to make a move, so gives her a rose. Meanwhile the engineer chooses to give her an apple daily.
Doctor: “Why you give her an apple everyday?”
Engineer: “Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away!”I’ll see myself out
A doctor and a programmer both like the same woman
Every day, the doctor brings her a flower, while the programmer brings her an apple.
Eventually, she chooses to go out with the programmer.
Outraged, the doctor asks the programmer why he brought her apples.
The programmer responded “An Apple a day keeps the doctor away”
Why did the apple need a map?
To find its core.
What do you call an apple that’s also a lawyer?
The Core-leone family.
Why did the apple get a tattoo?
To show off its core values.
What did the apple say to the doctor when it had a sore throat?
“I think I swallowed a seed in my core.”
Why did the apple join the band?
To play the core-net.
What do you call an apple that’s also a comedian?
The Core-median.
I hope you enjoy these jokes!
Apple One Liners
One-liners are only for some. You have to select your audience when you share one-liners.
It’s because only some understand it, and it requires one to be intelligent. But of course, as today’s topic is apple, I have tried to keep the one-liners easy to understand and simple.
This way, you can share them with kids and adults.
Are you ready to read them?
when I told her I was switching from Windows to Apple.
What do you get if you cross a snake and a pie?
A python-apple pie.
Why did the apple join the circus?
To become a juggling apple.
Why did the apple go to the doctor?
It had a worm in its core.
Why did the apple go to the bar?
To get a cider.
What do you get if you cross a computer and a banana?
A-peeling technology.
Why did the apple break up with the orange?
It was a fruitless relationship.
Why did the apple go to the dentist?
It had a seed stuck in its teeth.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear (or, an Apple user).
Why did the apple go to the gym?
To get a little Mac-tivation.
What do you call an Apple product that isn’t working?
An iCant.
Why did the apple go to the party?
To show off its new Apple Watch.
Why did the apple go to the race track?
To get a little speed on its core processor.
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a pie?
Frosty apple pie.
Why did the apple go to the beach?
To get some fresh iAir.
Why did the apple go to the doctor?
It had a bad seed.
Why did the apple go to the airport?
To catch a Mac-flight.
What do you call an Apple product that sings?
A cordless phone.
Conclusion
Jokes have always been successful in bringing smiles to people’s faces. When you hear a joke after a tiring day at the office, you automatically forget about the stress for at least some time.
It’s what I like the most about jokes.
In the same way, Apple jokes are hilarious and can make people laugh out loud. You can share them with anyone and everyone on any occasion.
Which section of jokes did you enjoy the most? Do you want me to add more sections?
Remember to let me know in the comments!