My grandpa didn’t have much time left. He had been diagnosed with leukemia shortly after his 90th birthday.
I remember the time well. It was so emotional for all of us and many of his grandchildren (including me) flew or drove from out of state to be by his side.
I remember hearing him talk about how overwhelming it was. In a good way of course, but he was amazed that we had all dropped whatever was going on in our lives to be with him. He told me one evening that he knew it was a hardship to be there. What I told him in return, I felt emphatically and passionately about – still do.
I told my grandpa that it wasn’t a hardship to be there for him and with him. Yes, I had to cancel some things. Yes, my schedule was rearranged. Yes, it was a 9hr drive. But you see, none of that mattered – not really. It was all trivial stuff. I could reschedule a hair appt and I could get that new kitten next month. But my grandpa may not be around if I waited.
I told my grandpa that it wasn’t a hardship to be there. It was love. I told him I WANTED to be there! And I so passionately felt that way. There was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be and nothing else I wanted to do more than to drop everything and be there with him. You see, that’s what love does. Love does the hard stuff. It wants to.
Losing a loved one is hard. It’s tough. You cry. But it’s not miserable. You cry and you drop things at a moment’s notice; you rearrange your schedule because you WANT to. And if you’re denied the opportunity to run to someone’s side, to help them out, to love on them – well, then sometimes you can be denied a blessing – a right you have, to express your heart towards that individual.
I see so many people who don’t want to be a burden on someone else. They don’t want to ask for help. But sometimes we need to remember that if someone truly loves us, it’s an honor on their part to be let in to the recesses of our heart and lives and to be allowed to enter in and come alongside us to help. That’s exactly how I felt and exactly what I was trying to explain to my grandpa.
Love does the hard stuff because it wants to. That’s what love is about. Going through ALL of life together – the good, the bad, the joyful, and the painful. It’s doing life together. Let those who love you in during those times. Not only will they be blessed; you will as well.
Dionna Sanchez loves her family with all her heart and would do anything for them. She also loves women and shares her heart openly and vulnerably through her blog – http://beautyinthestorm.blogspot.com