There’s nothing funny about someone stealing your chocolate! Nor is there anything hilarious about crying over spilled chocolate milk!
However, one can still console themselves with a few chocolate jokes! You may find these hilarious, downright chocolatey, or about as funny as that missing bar of chocolate!
Either way, you can definitely find your chocolate joke fix right here!
70+ Funny Chocolate Jokes
What do chocolate bars and jokes have in common? They can both be cracked!
And they bring a smile to your dial, just like these hilarious, punny chocolate jokes!
Q: What kind of jokes do chocolate bars not crack?
A: Ones about Easter eggs – they’re morbid!
Q: Which is a chocoholic’s favorite kind of party?
A: One that’s choco-lit!
Q: What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?
A: A Choco-Light!
Q: Why did the candy bar cross the road?
A: Because he was choco-Late for the bus!
Q: What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?
A: Snickers – he only snickers!
Q: What do you call an extra sweet cookie?
A: A chocolate chip cutie!
Q: What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?
A: A candy baaaaa-r!
Q: Why didn’t the cow produce any chocolate milk?
A: Because he was moo-dy!
Q: Which chocolate candy bar is a cat’s favorite?
A: A Kit Kat!
Q: What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate?
A: A rocky road!
Q: What do parrots say when they see a candy bar?
A: Cao-cao! Cao-cao!
Q: What do chocolate clouds make?
A: Chocolate sprinkles!
Q: Why did the chocolate bar get kicked out of the sports team?
A: He was always playing Twix on the others!
Q: A box of chocolates and a chocoholic walked into a bar. Only the chocoholics walked out! On a cold and gray Chicago mornin’ where was another little baby chocolate bar born?
A: In the Gateaux (ghetto)!
Q: What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?
A: A Ferrari Rocher!
Q: Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?
A: He was nutty!
Q: What’s the opposite of choco-late?
A: Choco-early.
Q: What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?
A: Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!
Q: Why was the chocolate Easter egg sad?
A: He was hollow inside!
Q: What is brown and not made of chocolate?
A: A cocoa-not!
Q: Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?
A: A Bounty-ful!
Q: Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?
A: A Skor!
Q: What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?
A: 3 Musketeers!
Q: Which is the clumsiest candy bar?
A: A Butterfinger!
Q: Why was the candy bar confused?
A: Because she was a Her-She-y bar!
Q: What occasion do chocolate bars look forward to all month?
A: PayDay!
Q: What do you call a dancing candy bar that got sent back in time to the 1920s?
A: A Charleston Chew!
Q: Why couldn’t the candy bar screw in the lightbulb?
A: She was an Aero-head!
Q: Where do candy bars hang out on a plane?
A: At the Sky Bar!
Q: What happens when you mistake a candy bar for a potato?
A: You find an Idaho Spud!
Q: Why did the thief steal the candy bar?
A: It was called a 100 Grand bar!
Q: Which candy bars are out of this world?
A: Milky Ways and Mars Bars!
Q: Which candy bar is a favorite of chocolate thieves?
A: A Take 5!
Q: What did the dark chocolate bar say when the milk chocolate bar canceled their date?
A: How dairy!
Q: What do chocolate bars book when they go away for a weekend?
A: A hotel sweet!
Q: What happened when the chocolate bar stuck his finger in the plug?
A: He became a shock-o-late bar!
Q: What do you get when you don’t give your dog chocolate?
A: Chocolate bark and maybe even a choco-bite!
Q: How do candy bars pay for things?
A: With choco-bitcoins!
Q: Why couldn’t the lady give up chocolate?
A: Because she wasn’t a quitter!
Q: Why did the woman eat the box of chocolates?
A: Because it was After Eight!
Q: What do you call a man who hunts chocolate bars?
A: A bounty hunter!
Q: Why did the man give up eating ice cream?
A: Because he couldn’t top it!
Q: What did the truffle and the chocolate bar do when the latest Chocolat movie came out?
A: They went to choc it out!
Q: What do you do with a rotten candy bar?
A: You chuck-o-late it out!
Q: Why was the dairy milk chocolate bar confused?
A: He couldn’t milk up his mind!
Q: What did the candy bar write in his Valentine’s day card?
A: I love you dairy-ly!
Q: Why do milk chocolate truffles like sky diving?
A: Because they’re dairy-ing!
Q: Which nursery rhyme do candy bars sing to their children?
A: Bar bar chocolate sheep.
Q: Why do candy bars make excellent lawyers?
A: Because they always pass the bar exams!
Q: What do you call a candy bar that attends peaceful protests?
A: Mahatma Candy!
Q: Why did the candy bar get cold?
A: Because he wasn’t wearing a sweeter!
Q: What do candy bars look for on online dating sites?
A: A deeper confection!
Q: Why did the chocolate ice cream go to jail?
A: He was confected of causing cavities!
Q: A chocolate bar got kicked out of a bar. Why?
A: He was starting truffle!
Q: Why is chocolate the best gift to give a loved one?
A: Because chocolate makes the heart grown fondue!
Q: Why did the boy cry?
A: Because he wanted s’more chocolate!
Q: What do candy bars need to write to get a degree?
A: A dessert-ation!
Q: Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
A: Because he drank a tall hot chocolate mocha frappuccino with low-fat soy milk and cinnamon dolce sprinkles before it was cool!
Q: How should you describe eating a mint-chocolate candy bar?
A: As an enjoy-mint!
Q: Why did the candy bar get hired?
A: He was very a-dipped at his job!
Q: Why did the dark chocolate truffle give everyone the cold shoulder?
A: He thought he was bitter than everyone!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a chocolate bar?
A: A cow-cow!
Q: What do you say when a candy bar fails his exams?
A: He fudged it!
Q: What’s the difference between a man dressed in robes and a king enrobed in chocolate?
A: Cocoa nib-ility!
Some candy bars went to a chocolate milk bar – they got cocoa-lly i-nib-riated!
Q: Which chocolates are less likely to help you out when you’re in trouble?
A: Semi-sweet ones!
Q: What did the candy bar say to his date?
A: Orange-you going to invite me in?
Q: Why wouldn’t the chocolate truffle answer anyone’s calls?
A: He was desfondant!
Q: Why didn’t the candy bar get locked up for eating chocolate?
A: It was not a cream!
Q: What happens when candy bars pass on?
A: They get cream-ated!
Q: Why was the chocolate bar always grumpy?
A: He was ill temper-ed!
Q: Why did the chocolate bar blush?
A: Because he was bar-e!
Hilarious Chocolate Knock-Knock Jokes
Knock, knock – who’s there? Hopefully, some delicious chocolates! If not, at least these chocolate knock-knock jokes are by your side to bring a smile to your face!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Chalk
Chalk, who?
Chalk-o-late!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Candy!
Candy, who?
Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
How dairy!
How dairy, who?
How dairy steal my chocolate!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Mr. Good
Mr. Good, who?
Mr. Goodbar!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dairy?
Dairy, who?
Dairy milk chocolate!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
It’s after!
It’s after, who?
It’s After Eight!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Cow!
Cow, who?
Cow-cao moo!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Temper!
Temper, who?
Tempered chocolate!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Twix!
Twix, who?
Twix up his sleeves!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Kit!
Kit, who?
Kit Kat!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Hello!
Hello, who?
Hello, can I order a skinny hot chocolate frappuccino to go?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Des!
Des, who?
Dessert!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Bar!
Bar, who?
Bar-bar chocolate sheep, have you any chocolate milk?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Please, sir!
Please, sir, who?
Please, sir, can I have s’more!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Choc!
Choc, who?
Choc-it-out!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Life is!
Life is, who?
Life is like a box of chocolates!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Keep calm!
Keep calm, who?
Keep calm and eat chocolate!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Rich!
Rich, who?
Rich, dark, and hot chocolate!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Orange!
Orange, who?
Orange-you going to let me in?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
I believe!
I believe, who?
I believe in chocolate chip cookies!
Short Chocolate Jokes
Every time a kid learns something new, they love to flaunt it to their friends. The same is true when they learn a new joke.
This is where short jokes win. As these jokes are short, apart from being funny, kids find it easy to remember them and then share them with their friends.
And you already know how kids love chocolates, right?
I can’t store chocolates in my refrigerator anymore, as my toddler can now open it. And she walks up to it every day to see if there is any chocolate she can savor!
So, when chocolates and jokes are combined, they become irresistible for kids.
In this section, you can find some of the most drool-worthy jokes for your kiddo.
Why did the chocolate bar go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling a bit nutty!
What do you call a witch who loves chocolate?
A choc-o-late.
How do you make a chocolate milkshake?
Give it a good scare!
What’s a chocolate’s favorite book?
“Cocoa Puffs.”
What’s a snowman’s favorite chocolate?
Icicle-ate!
Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumby.
What’s a vampire’s favorite chocolate?
Blood-chocolate.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate.
What did the chocolate say to the peanut butter?
“You’re nuts!”
Why was the chocolate chip cookie sad?
Because its mom was a wafer too long.
What’s a chocolate’s favorite place in New York?
The Milky Way.
What do you call a monster made of chocolate?
A choc-olate.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive chocolate collection?
A chocoholic!
What do you call a cow that makes chocolate?
A cocoa-moo.
How do you fix a broken chocolate bar?
With choco-glue!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite chocolate?
Ghoul-axy.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a chocolate bar?
A vamp-chocolate!
What do you call a chocolate that tells jokes?
A choco-laugher.
Why don’t chocolate bars ever play hide and seek?
Because they always get found!
What’s a chocolate’s favorite country?
Swiss-erland!
Chocolate One-liners Jokes
One-liners are not for everyone, as not everyone understands them or gets the underlying humor in them.
But, as I know that you are looking for jokes for kids, I have come up with the most interesting and humorous chocolate jokes in this section. These are easy to understand and kid-friendly.
If you are arranging a birthday party for your kid and you want to include a jokes session, go ahead. Share the following chocolate one-liners to make not only your kid but also other kids laugh out loud!
- “Chocolate is like duct tape; it fixes everything.”
- “Chocolate is the sweetest form of rebellion.”
- “I’m not addicted to chocolate; we’re just in a committed relationship.”
- “There’s no ‘we’ in chocolate.”
- If you can’t remember my name, just say “chocolate,” and I’ll turn around.
- “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat chocolate.”
- “I don’t need an inspirational quote; I need chocolate.”
- “Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don’t need an appointment.”
- I like my chocolate like I like my relationships – sweet and a little bit dark.
- “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
- Chocolate doesn’t judge you; it understands your weaknesses.
- I’ll stop eating chocolate when they make a chocolate-flavored kale.
- I don’t have a sweet tooth; I have a whole sweet set of teeth!
- Chocolate never asks silly questions. Chocolate understands.
- Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for fat people.
- I used to be a chocoholic, but now I’m on the chocoholics’ 12-step program – I take it one step at a time!
- “Chocolate is the real magic in the world.”
- “I’m not fat; I’m chocolate enriched.”
- “Life is short. Eat chocolate first.”
- Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is!
Conclusion
Chocolate is one of the few friends we can always turn to when having a bad day! As such, these chocolate jokes are also sure to turn that frown the right way around!