The Best 100 Funny Puns for Kids

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Puns are some of the best jokes for kids. I love having a bunch of funny puns for kids on hand to give everyone a laugh when it is needed most. 

100 Funny Puns for Kids

What are puns?

You might be wondering what a pun is. 

A pun is a funny joke that uses words in the perfect way to suggest multiple meanings or the meaning of a different word that sounds similar to create a funny joke. 

You can guarantee these funny puns for kids will create a million and a half laughs and lots of fun as your kids discover a whole new world of multiple meaning words through pun jokes.  

100 Funny puns for kids

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth!

What’s the most musical bone?

The trombone.

This boy said he was going to hit me with the neck of a guitar.

I said, “Is that a fret?”

What makes music on your hair?

A headband.

Why do fish live in saltwater?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He’s all right now.

Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C’s.

Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.

My leaf blower doesn’t work.

It sucks.

What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie?

A pie-thon.

Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas

Would a cardboard belt be a waist of paper?

When do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?

When it’s full.

What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crook-o-dile

Never give your uncle an anteater.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear!

How do you say bye-bye to a curly-haired dog?


I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet.

I don’t know why.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho cheese!

What’s black and white and blue?

A depressed zebra.

I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from.

Then it dawned on me.

What did the judge say when the skunk came into his courtroom?

“Odor in the court!” 

Learning how to collect trash wasn’t that hard, I just picked it up as I went along.

What kind of jungle cat is no fun to play games with?

A cheetah! 

A golf ball is a golf ball no matter how you putt it.

What day do chickens fear the most?


What do you call a happy cowboy?

A jolly rancher.

If you need help building an ark, I Noah guy.

How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away their credit cards.

What do you call a flying police officer?

A helicopper!

My dog can do magic tricks.

It’s a labracadabrador.

Why did the elephant stay in the airport?

They were waiting for their trunk.

What did the lawyer name his daughter?


Never marry a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

What did the horse say when it fell?

I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup! 

I knew a couple who met in a revolving door.

I think they’re still going round together.

What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class?

Why the long face? 

Did you know taller people sleep longer in bed?

Why did the book join the police?

He wanted to go undercover!

What do you call a horse that lives next door?

A neigh-bor! 

I heard a funny joke about a boomerang earlier.

I’m sure it’ll come back to me eventually.

What do you call an underwater spy?

James Pond!

What time does a duck wake up?

At the quack of dawn! 

I asked the lion in my wardrobe what he was doing there, he said it was “Narnia Business”.

Who stole the soap out of the bathtub?

The robber ducky!

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?

What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?


I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.

Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?

He was trying to make both ends meet! 

Sue broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

What washes up on very small beaches?


What dog keeps the best time? 

A watch dog! 

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday.

I’ll tell you what, never again.

What do you call a knight who is afraid to fight?

Sir Render.

Why don’t dogs make good dancers?

Because they have two left feet! 

I often say to myself, “I can’t believe that cloning machine worked!”

Why did the lion spit out the clown?

Because he tasted funny!

What happens when it rains cats and dogs?

I don’t know, but you can step in a poodle.

Some people say I’m addicted to somersaults but that’s just how I roll

Why are dogs like phones?

Because they have collar IDs. 

What’s purple and 5000 miles long?

The Grape Wall of China!

What do you call Dracula with hayfever?

The pollen Count.

Why did the cat go to medical school?

To become a first aid kit

What was the reporter doing at the ice cream shop?

Getting the scoop!

What do you get if you cross fireworks with a duck?


Never lie to an x-ray technician.

They can see right through you.

What has fangs and webbed feet?

Count Duckula 

Where do polar bears vote?

The North Poll.

My friend made a joke about a TV controller.

It wasn’t remotely funny.

What was the goal of the detective duck?

To quack the case, of course. 

Why did the spider go to the computer?

To check his web site.

I have a speed bump phobia but I’m slowly getting over it.

Why are cats so good at video games?

Because they have nine lives.

I’m working on a device that will read minds.

I’d love to hear your thoughts.

What do you call an attractive volcano?


What is a cat’s favorite color?


Why can’t a leopard hide? 

Because he’s always spotted.

I saw an advert that read: “Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full.”

I thought to myself, I can’t turn that down.

If your dog was craving a pizza, what type of pizza would he want?


I thought about becoming a witch, so I tried it for a spell.

What does a pizza say when it introduces itself to you?

Slice to meet you.

What type of songs do the planets sing?


Those new corduroy pillows are making headlines.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?

Because they have big fingers!

When is the moon the heaviest?

When it’s full!

What does the baker always say to customers?

Do you oven come here?

Why are teddy bears never hungry?

They are always stuffed!

When it comes to cosmetic surgery, a lot of people turn their noses up.

What did Mars say to Saturn?

Give me a ring sometime.

What did the pizza say to the gorgeous topping?

I never SAUsage a beautiful face!

How can you tell the ocean is friendly?

It waves.

I went to a restaurant last night and had the Wookie steak.

It was a little Chewy.

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bull-dozer.

What do you call a postal carrier that can speak to packages?

A parcel tongue.

Broken puppets for sale.

No strings attached.

What was the most popular dance in 1776?


Why don’t get my Harry Potter friend’s jokes?

Because there is something RON with you.

Don’t drink with ghosts, they can’t handle their boos.

What do you get when you plant kisses?

Two lips.

Where do cows go for entertainment?

To the moo-vies!

Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they forgot the words.

There you have it! 100 of the best funny puns for kids! What funny puns would you add to the list? Share them in the comments! 

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3 thoughts on “The Best 100 Funny Puns for Kids”

  1. These are fun! We are having a quarantine Comedy night tomorrow, I got my daughter Awesome Jokes for 7 Year Olds off Amazon per her request for her portion of the night, her dad of course is doing the Dad Joke bit, maybe I will bust out some Puns!!!


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