Are you feeling a little crab-by? Are you looking to add a pinch of hilarity to your day? Or do you want to shell out some good vibes to make others laugh? Then it’s time to get cracking with funny crab jokes, puns, and one-liners!
See what we did there? Crabs are an awesome way to bring in laughter and joy.
These super cool creatures are adorable, which in itself already inspires smiles out of those who see these adorable beings. They are also delicious, bringing much joy, especially to all foodies. And quite frankly, crabs can be a lot of fun to play around with, humor-wise!
Yes, many things can be punny and funny one-liners with enough wit and smarts. But you have gotta admit, there is just something especially funny and kismet about crab jokes and crab puns. These just seem to flow so easily and come naturally, bringing in hilarity!
Crabs are already so fantastic in so many ways, and the fact that they can quickly inspire laughter makes them even more awesome! Crab-by humor is just a ton of good-natured fun.
What makes this type of humor even more fun is the fact that both kids and adults can appreciate this kind of humor! People of all ages will find something to smile and laugh about with crab jokes.
It’s humor that spans all ages, which is always pretty cool. You’ll be able to laugh about it with your friends, family, and even your kids! Shared laughter is the best laughter, don’t you think?
We’ve compiled a list of funny crab jokes, puns, and one-liners for kids and adults to whip out whenever you need a good laugh—just be-claws we know how utterly great these can be, and be-claws, we know you’ll love them too!
Crab Humor: When To Use?
The beauty of crab humor is that it is appropriate for many different settings and people of all ages.
So, let’s say you are hanging out with your friends and are itching to shell out a joke or two. Or maybe you are at work and looking to lighten the mood or searching for something clever to share while conversing at the water cooler.
Or perhaps you are spending time with your kids and want to share a laugh with your little ones. Or it could even be that your child is on the hunt for jokes they can share with their classmates or peers. Whatever it is, we’ve got the answer: Crab humor.
Jokes are a great way to connect with people. And they are a particular claw, some way to connect and bond with your kids. No matter the time, mood, or place, crab jokes are a shell-tactic way just to bring in the fun and strengthen the parent-child connection effortlessly.
These jokes will also turn crab-by times into shell-various times because they are all in good fun
At some point, all of us are searching for a bunch of one-liners that we can always rely on to lighten the mood, break the ice, or get people laughing.
That’s where crab jokes, puns, and one-liners come in. If there’s one thing you should remember, it’s this: When you find yourself in a pinch, crab humor will always pull through for you—and can lead to some very shell-y, funny moments!
Funny Crab Jokes, Puns, And One Liners
If you’re sea-king for some laughs with your family, friends, or kids, sea-k no more because we’re shell-casing the punny-est crab humor for all ages! Sand out a ton of good vibes with our collection of crab jokes, puns, and one-liners!
Crab Jokes
Did you know that there are more than 4,500 various species of crabs all across the globe? And that, though most of these species reside in the water, about 850 crab species live on land and make their way back to the water only to breed and procreate.
Yup, that’s a lot of different types of crabs, and we’ve got a lot of crab jokes for you! Let’s go and dive right in, shall we?
What does a hermit crab call its home?
Michelle!
What do you call a crab that throws things?
A lobster!
Why do crabs never give waiters a tip?
Because they’re shellfish!
Who brings Christmas presents to young crabs?
Santa Claws!
Why did the Crab keep all the seaweed to itself?
Because it was shellfish!
Did you hear about the Crab that went to the gym?
He pulled a mussel!
What do you call a crab in self-isolation?
A hermit crab!
What is the best job for a crab?
A crab driver!
Why was the hermit crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed!
Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
King’s Crustacean!
How does a crab feel when it overeats?
Clawful!
Where do crabs and lobsters save all of their money?
In a sea bank!
What do crabs do on their birthday?
They shellabrate!
What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop?
A cup of crab-uccino!
How do crabs call their friends?
On a shell phone!
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they’re shellfish!
What would a crab do with a smartphone?
Take lots of shellfies!
How do crabs get around on land?
They use the sidewalk!
What kind of helmet does a hermit crab wear?
A shell-met!
What party game do crabs like to play?
Salmon says!
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
To a prawn broker!
Why didn’t the Crab and lobster share their food with the octopus?
Because they are shellfish!
Why don’t crabs like basketball?
Because they are afraid of the net!
What do crabs need to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea!
How much salt do hermit crabs like on their food?
Just a pinch!
What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?
A Crab!
How could the Crab afford to buy a new house?
He prawned everything!
Why did the Crab get bad grades?
Because it was below C level!
What is a crab’s favorite fruit?
Crab apples!
How do you know a crab has had too much fizzy drink?
It starts to walk in a straight line!
Why was the crustacean unhappy?
Because his mum was being really crabby!
Why is the sand so quiet?
Because the waves keep going “Ssshhhhhhh!”
Why did the crab blush?
Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
How does a crab go when it’s right?
Snap!
Why did the Crab cross the road?
To get to the other tide!
Where do crabs sleep?
In water beds!
What does the Crab say when she’s disagreeing with the lobster?
I don’t quite sea it that way!
How does the Crab answer the phone?
“Shello?!”
What do you call a crab afraid of small spaces?
Claw-strophobic!
How do crabs leave the hospital?
On crotches!
What did the wandering Crab say when it finally made its way back to the ocean?
Long time no sea!
What lives in the ocean, is grumpy, and hates its neighbors?
A hermit crab!
What did the lobsterman say when his crate turned empty?
It-piers, we have a problem!
What does a lobster say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more pacific?!
I asked the waiter, “Do you serve crabs here?”
He said, “Take a seat. We serve everybody.”
Do you know why it’s ironic how my aunt died, given that her zodiac sign is cancer?
She was killed by a giant crab.
How do crabs evade taxes?
They set up shell corporations.
What’s it called when a crab walks to its part-time job?
A side hustle!
How did the limpet cross the river?
She took a taxi crab.
Where do crabs sleep?
On the sea bed.
What did the prawn say to the Crab steering the ship?
“Ay, ay, Crabtain!”
What do you call a pit stop that sells crabs and pizza?
A crust station.
Why don’t healthy dyslexic people eat bread?
Too many crabs.
Why are the Jedi against dissolving crustaceans in acid?
Only a Sith deals in crab solutes.
Why was the hermit crab embarrassed?
Because the sea weed!
What do you call the greatest crab artist that ever lived?
Leonardo da Pinci.
What did one hipster crab playing on its shellphone say to the other?
“Help me think of an Instagram crabtion!”
Where do crabs save all of their money?
In a sand bank.
Why did the musical Crab move to New York City?
It wanted to star in the crabaret.
What’s a crab’s favorite part about pizza?
That crust taste, son!
How did the crabs respond when the chef told them they were being served dinner?
They were really steamed.
What do you call a crab that’s green and sings but likes to stay home?
A Kermit crab.
Where do crabs go when they need to catch public transport?
The Bustacean.
What does the crab president call his trusted advisors?
His Crabinet.
Did you hear the crab president’s speech?
It was really crabtivating.
Which chemical element accounts for the largest part in the body of crabs?
Crabon.
Why do crabs do poorly in school?
They have a limited vocrabulary.
What did the cannibal crab have for its birthday?
Crab cake.
What did the crab police officer say when it pulled over a speeding shrimp?
You have to abide by the claw.
Why did the Crab decide to follow the Keto diet?
Crabohydrates made it bloat.
What do you call a frugal crab?
A penny pincher.
What’s a crab’s favorite song?
“Don’t Worry; Be Crabby.”
Why did the Crab get fired?
Because he was not moving the company forward.
Why did the ocean roar?
Wouldn’t you if there were crabs underneath you?
What did one fish say to the other when they saw the chef crab a crab?
“Oh, buddy — he’s in hot water now.”
Customer, holding a crab under his arm: “Waiter, waiter, do you make crab cakes?
Waiter: “Yes, we sure do.”
Customer: “Good, because it’s his birthday.”
CRAB JOKES: Knock-Knock Style
Here’s a little tidbit for you about our crustacean friends: Crabs are known to be omnivores. This means that they will eat practically anything they encounter, whether it be meat or plants. And as for these knock-knock jokes, they will make practically anyone crack a smile or even enjoy a good giggle. Behold, our serving or Crab Jokes – knock knock style!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Crab.
Crab who?
Crab me a snack, please!”
“Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan awful headache after reading all these crab puns!”
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for?! Let’s go crabbing!
CRAB PUNS
You may be wondering if crabs have six legs or eight legs. Well, the answer is actually a little more than that! Crabs are decapods. What this means is that they are ten-footed!
They have ten legs, including four pairs of legs for walking and one pair of pinchers, also known as ‘chelipeds.’ Just as crabs have more legs than others, you’re sure to laugh more with our clever crab puns! Trust us, these are totally punn-y!
- “I think you’re claw some!”
- “Feel the pinch.”
- ”Just beclaws I love you.”
- “Fishing for compliments.”
- “In a pinch!”
- “Seek, and you shell find!”
- “I’m just crabbing!”
- “Have a crab-u-lous day!”
- “Let’s get cracking!”
- “Let’s all clam down shell we?!”
- “The truth shell set you free!”
- ”The lobster is one shell of an animal!”
- “Please crab me a glass of water!”
- “I shrimply don’t like shellfish!”
- “I can’t live without my crab-ohydrates.”
- “Crab-bage – A vegan crab’s go to food.”
- “Check out my cr-abs.”
- “This new lightweight crab-on fiber material.”
- “Crab! This isn’t going well.”
- “You crab-tivate me.”
- “Hail a crab driver.”
- “Hope you have a crab-ulous day.”
- “I’m gonna go crab a sandwich from the shop.”
- “I really love log crab-ins.”
- “A tropical crab-ana.”
- “Crab-pucinno – A crab’s favorite coffee drink.”
- ”I just feel a little crabby today.”
- “She was a little crabbed because her favorite show got cancelled.”
- “Picking s-crabs was his pet peeve.”
MORE CRAB-BY PUNS
Though the most common color that comes to mind when we think of crabs may be reddish-orange, crabs come in a wide range of colors, from very reds and bright blues to more muted browns and greens.
They also come in a wide range of sizes, from as tiny as 1 centimeter to as big as 13 feet long. Do you know what else has a wide range? Our crab-related puns, which can make people of all ages just go, LOL!
- “We have shell-ected the best crab jokes.”
- “That was a really shell-fless act.”
- “The cousin of the crab is a mus-shell.”
- “Seek and you shell find.”
- ”It all starts with s-hello.”
- “Crabs are really shell-fish.”
- “Mr. Crab is a total shell-out.”
- “I’m trying to shell this car.”
- “Ooh! Take a shell-fie!”
- “You’re my spe-shell one.”
- “I’m late for the offi-shell meeting.”
- “He was having a claw-ful day.”
- “They were absolutely claw-estruck.”
- “I’m so claw-kward.”
- “Shell-ebrate good times!”
- “Call a crab using a shell phone.”
- “This is a claw-tastrophe!”
- ”He’s feeling a little claws-trophobic.”
- “Like claw-kwork. (clockwork)”
- “Santa Claws – A crabby St. Nicholas.”
- “Be-claws I love you.”
- “Stop chitin (cheatin’).”
- “Beach yourself.”
- “To beach or not to beach.”
- “Are you shore about this?”
- “Can you keep a sea-cret.”
- “Hide and sea-k.”
- “I’m in a bit of a pinch.”
- “I’m prone to sea-zures.”
- “The police sea-zed the party.”
- “He was such a hermit.”
- “Pinch me, I think I’m dreaming.”
- “Nip the problem in the butt.”
- “Sand you my love.”
- ”He was the sea-nior.”
- “I’m feeling fan-sea.”
- 1“Is this life or is this fanta-sea?”
- “My sea-gnificant other.”
CRAB-BY ONE-LINERS
If you are wondering what a group of crabs is called, we’ve got the answer for you. A group of crabs is referred to as a ‘cast.’ Casts of crabs that reside and coexist together in a group are said to be all about cooperation.
They help each other to look for food and do what they can to protect their families. Sounds impressive, right? Also amazing is our crab one-liners that are sure to make you guffaw!
- “Life just seems to be two steps sideways, then one step back!”
- “Crabs are bad at learning a new language because they never care about the vo-crab-ulary!”
- “You should never make friends with crabs because they’re all so crabby!”
- “The hermit crab refused to go in its shell because it was claw-strophobic!”
- “These crab-u-lous one-liners are shore to raise a smile!”
- “I’d give you my best one-liners here, but I’m too shellfish!”
- “A good crab joke is hard to crack!”
- “Don’t bother me today, I’m feeling a little bit crabby!”
- “I used to look for shellfish at my local beach every day until I pulled a mussel one day!”
- ”Crabs always add a pinch of salt to their meals!”
- “I pulled a muscle today, I stayed clam!”
- “There’s an underwater version of Paw Patrol starring crabs, it’s called Claw Patrol!”
- “The crab is telling jokes, but nobody laughs because they are all crabby jokes!”
- ”A great bit of advice from a hermit crab: “It’s ok to come out of your shell and think outside the box!”
Laughter is the best medicine, as they say. And if you’re feeling a little crab-by and need a dose of pun, our collection of crab jokes, puns and one-liners for kids and adults will shell-ly bring laughs to the whole family! Let’s get cracking!