Are you ready to let out some big laughs by hearing some good jokes? Well, get ready these animal jokes will leave you quacking up… Get it? Quacking! LOL.
That’s right! We are sharing the very best animal jokes that are all in one place! So come back often as we will continue to add animal jokes to the list!
By the way, what animal has more lives than a cat?
Frogs! They croak every night!
100 of the Best Animal Jokes
Q. There are ten cats standing on a boat. One cat jumps off the boat, how many more cats are left?
A. None, because the cats were all copy cats!
Q. What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A. “Put it on my bill.”
Q. What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
A. Bugs bunny.
Q. What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?
A. The police had to comb the area.
Q. Which place should you never consider taking a dog?
A. We should never take a dog to a Flea Market.
Q. What did the SNAIL say while riding on the turtles back?
A. Wheeeeeeeee
Q. How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?
A. “Pleased to eat you.”
Q. What kind of key opens a banana?
A. A monkey.
Q. What money do cats use to go shopping?
A. Cats use kitty cash!
Q. Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?
A. Their bats flew away.
Q. Where did the cat go when it lost its tail?
A. To the retail store!
Q. What’s a shark’s favorite sandwich?
A. Peanut butter and jellyfish!
Q. When building a house, what tool do dinosaurs use the most?
A. They frequently use a dino-saw
Q. What pine has the longest needles?
A. A porcupine.
Q. What is the best way to cook a gator?
A. In a crock-pot
Q. What do you call a pig that is never fun to hang out with?
A. The pig will be called a boar.
Q. Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
A. It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Q. What is the difference between a cat that follows you and a cat that got photocopied?
A. One is a copy cat, and the other is a cat copy.
Q. When dinosaurs keep scoring touchdowns, what does its team get?
A. The team will keep getting dino-scores!
Q. Which day do fish hate?
A. Fryday.
Q. What is the name of the movie when the stars are a pig and a dinosaur?
A. The perfect name for the movie is “Jurassic pork”!
Q. What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A. A pouch potato.
Q Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek?
A. Because he was always spotted.
Q. What is the difference between swine flu and bird flu?
A. You need an oink-ment for the swine flu but a tweet-ment for the bird flu.
Q. What animal has the whiskers of a cat, fur of a cat, a tail of a cat, ears of a cat, but is not a cat?
A. The animal is a kitten!
Q. What is the name of the scary dinosaur that was raised by pigs?
A. Its name was porkasaurus rex!
Q. What is the nickname of a person that puts his right hand inside the large mouth of a scary T-Rex?
A. The perfect nickname to give is “Lefty”!
Q. Since the chickens wake up when the rooster crows, when do all the ducks wake up?
A. The ducks get up at the quack of dawn!
Q. Why did the pig have ink all over its face?
A. Because it came out of the pen.
Q. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A. A walkie-talkie!
Q. What nickname do you keep for a monkey selling potato chips?
A. You can call them a chipmunk!
Q. How do you count cows?
A. With a cowculator.
Q. What will a cat say when it falls off a table?
A. It will say, “Me Ow!”.
Q. What should you bring to a party hosted by monkeys in the jungle?
A. You can bring the chimps and dip!
Q. Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A. A Chi-ha-ha!
Q. What object do dinosaurs use while building the floors of their house’s kitchen?
A. They love using the Rep-tiles.
Q. What do monkey cooks wear when they are working in the kitchen?
A. hey wear the Ape-rons!
Q. Why do cows never have any money?
A. Because the farmers milk them dry!
Q. What kind of math do owls like?
A. Owlgebra
Q. What do you call a snake that wears no clothes?
A. You call it snaked!
Q. Why are frogs always so happy?
A. They eat what ever bugs them
Q. If Harry Potter was a dinosaur, then what would he be called?
A. He would be called a Dinosorcerer.
Q. What movies do pandas enjoy watching the most?
A. They love watching the old movies because the movies are black and white!
Q. Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee?
A. She got too jumpy!
Q. What is a cat’s most favorite magazine?
A. It is a CAT-alogue.
Q. How does a dog stop a video?
A. He presses the paws button.
Q. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
A. An Investigator!
Q. Why did the baby elephant need a new suitcase for her vacation?
A. She only had a little trunk.
Q. What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?
A. A watch dog.
Q. Why are Stegosaurus really good volleyball players?
A. They are good volleyball players because they could really spike the volleyball!
Q. What do you call a pig that does karate?
A. A pork chop.
Q. What do you call a deer with no eyes?
A. No-eye-deer.
Q. Why didn’t the elephant get the job he wanted?
A. His qualifications were completely irrelephant.
Q. What cat has the ability to live underwater?
A. The only cat that can live underwater is an octoPUSS!
Q. Where did the cow lose all his money in the weekend?
A. He lost his money at the “Cow-sino”.
Q. Why did the lion always lose at poker?
A. He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Q. What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
A. “Dam!”
Q. What did the leopard say after finishing a delicious meal?
A. “That hit the spot!”
Q. Why do shepherds never learn to count?
A. Because if they did they would always be falling asleep.
Q. What do you obtain when you mix a Santa Claus with a cat?
A. You get Santa-Claws!
Q. What do the farmers say to his cows after 9 pm?
A. He says, “Go to your beds, it is ‘pasture bedtime’”.
Q. Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
A.The prawn broker.
Q. What kind of bees eat brains?
A. Zombees.
Q. Why did the fish blush?
A. Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
Q. What do you get when you cross a snake with a tasty dessert?
A. A pie-thon!
Q. Where do cows go on holiday?
A. Moo Zealand.
Q. What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
A. What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Q. Why do cats always love sitting on the computer?
A. They do it to keep an eye on their enemy, the mouse!
Q. How can you tell which cow is the best dancer?
A. You can select the cow that has the best “mooooooooves”!
Q. Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool?
A. They kept dropping their trunks.
Q. Why is a bee’s hair always sticky?
A. Because it uses a honey comb!
Q. What do you get when two giraffes collide?
A. A giraffic jam
Q. What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
A. You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
Q. What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A. A collie-flower.
Q. How do you take a sick oyster to the hospital?
A. You can call for a clam-bulance!
Q. What is black, white, and red all over?
A. A sunburnt penguin!
Q. What do you call when there is a bad event involving cats?
A. It is called a CATastrophe.
Q. Why do sharks swim in salt water?
A. Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Q. What happened when the frog’s car broke down on the side of the road?
A. It gets toad away.
Q. Why do cows go to New York?
A. To see the moosicals!
Q. Why do the French eat snails?
A. They don’t like fast food.
Q. What sport do horses love playing the most?
A. They would spend all day playing the “Stable tennis”.
Q. What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?
A. You’re purrr-fect for me.
Q. What animal will you get if you combine a dog and a dino?
A. You will get a Dog-A-Sore!
Q. What’s the smartest animal?
A. A fish because they stay in schools!
Q. What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A. Bison!
Q. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant?
A. Swimming trunks.
Q. Why did the horse eat its food with its mouth wide open?
A. It ate that way because it has bad stable manners.
Q. What do you call a dog magician?
A. A Labracadabrador!
Q. What dogs love taking a nice long shower?
A. A shamPOODLE would love to shower all day!
Q. Why did the whale cross the street?
A. To get to the other tide.
Q. What steps do you take if you a tiger is running towards you?
A. Big ones!
Q. What sharks always end up working in the construction site?
A. Hammerhead sharks work there because they are the most useful one!
Q. What do you call a penguin in the desert?
A. Lost
Q. Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A. To get to the other slide!!
Q. What do you get from a pampered cow?
A. Spoiled milk!
Q. What would the name of the movie be if it stars the Loch Ness Monster and the great white shark?
A. The movie will be called the “Loch Jaws”.
Q. How much money does a skunk have?
A. One scent!
Q. What is the name of the shark that wrote many famous plays?
A. His name is “William Sharkspeare”!
Q. What’s the most musical part of a chicken?
A. The drumstick!
There you have it the very best animal jokes there are! Share your favorites in the comments below!
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