Chocolate is life. It’s the ultimate cure for heartbreak, bad days, and, let’s be honest, even boredom. But when someone steals your chocolate or your precious chocolate milk hits the floor? That’s the kind of pain only a true chocoholic can understand.
Here’s the good news: chocolate jokes are here to save the day. They’re like a pick-me-up, but with less sugar and zero guilt (unless you feel guilty laughing at terrible puns—then we can’t help you). Whether you’re here to laugh, groan, or distract yourself from that missing candy bar, we’ve got the jokes to keep your spirits—and your chocolate cravings—high.
70+ Chocolate Jokes to Crack You Up
What’s the deal with chocolate bars and jokes? They both crack, obviously—and they both make life infinitely better. So grab your favorite treat, settle in, and let’s get punny! Just be careful not to laugh so hard you drop your chocolate—that’s not the kind of mess we’re here for.
Q: What kind of jokes do chocolate bars not crack?
A: Ones about Easter eggs – they’re morbid!
Q: Which is a chocoholic’s favorite kind of party?
A: One that’s choco-lit!
Q: What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?
A: A Choco-Light!
Q: Why did the candy bar cross the road?
A: Because he was choco-Late for the bus!
Q: What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?
A: Snickers – he only snickers!
Q: What do you call an extra sweet cookie?
A: A chocolate chip cutie!
Q: What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A: A candy baaaaa-r!
Q: Why didn’t the cow produce any chocolate milk?
A: Because he was moo-dy!
Q: What’s a cat’s favorite chocolate bar?
A: A Kit Kat!
Q: What do you call an avalanche of marshmallows, nuts, and chocolate?
A: A rocky road!
Q: What do parrots say when they see a candy bar?
A: Cao-cao! Cao-cao!
Q: What do chocolate clouds make?
A: Chocolate sprinkles!
Q: Why did the chocolate bar get kicked out of the sports team?
A: He was always playing Twix on the others!
Q: A box of chocolates and a chocoholic walked into a bar. Only the chocoholics walked out! On a cold and gray Chicago mornin’ where was another little baby chocolate bar born?
A: In the Gateaux (ghetto)!
Q: What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?
A: A Ferrari Rocher!
Q: Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?
A: He was nutty!
Q: What’s the opposite of chocolate?
A: Choco-early.
Q: What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?
A: Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!
Q: Why was the chocolate Easter egg sad?
A: He was hollow inside!
Q: What is brown and not made of chocolate?
A: A cocoa-not!
Q: Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?
A: A Bounty-ful!
Q: Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?
A: A Skor!
Q: What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?
A: 3 Musketeers!
Q: Which is the clumsiest candy bar?
A: A Butterfinger!
Q: Why was the candy bar confused?
A: Because she was a Her-She-y bar!
Q: What occasion do chocolate bars look forward to all month?
A: PayDay!
Q: What do you call a dancing candy bar that got sent back in time to the 1920s?
A: A Charleston Chew!
Q: Why couldn’t the candy bar screw in the lightbulb?
A: She was an Aero-head!
Q: Where do candy bars hang out on a plane?
A: At the Sky Bar!
Q: What happens when you mistake a candy bar for a potato?
A: You find an Idaho Spud!
Q: Why did the thief steal the candy bar?
A: It was called a 100 Grand bar!
Q: Which candy bars are out of this world?
A: Milky Ways and Mars Bars!
Q: Which candy bar is a favorite of chocolate thieves?
A: A Take 5!
Q: What did the dark chocolate bar say when the milk chocolate bar canceled their date?
A: How dairy!
Q: What do chocolate bars book when they go away for a weekend?
A: A hotel sweet!
Q: What happened when the chocolate bar stuck his finger in the plug?
A: He became a shock-o-late bar!
Q: What do you get when you don’t give your dog chocolate?
A: Chocolate bark and maybe even a choco-bite!
Q: How do candy bars pay for things?
A: With choco-bitcoins!
Q: Why couldn’t the lady give up chocolate?
A: Because she wasn’t a quitter!
Q: Why did the woman eat the box of chocolates?
A: Because it was After Eight!
Q: What do you call a man who hunts chocolate bars?
A: A bounty hunter!
Q: Why did the man give up eating ice cream?
A: Because he couldn’t top it!
Q: What did the truffle and the chocolate bar do when the latest Chocolat movie came out?
A: They went to choc it out!
Q: What do you do with a rotten candy bar?
A: You chuck-o-late it out!
Q: Why was the dairy milk chocolate bar confused?
A: He couldn’t milk up his mind!
Q: What did the candy bar write in his Valentine’s day card?
A: I love you dairy-ly!
Q: Why do milk chocolate truffles like sky diving?
A: Because they’re dairy-ing!
Q: Which nursery rhyme do candy bars sing to their children?
A: Bar bar chocolate sheep.
Q: Why do candy bars make excellent lawyers?
A: Because they always pass the bar exams!
Q: What do you call a candy bar that attends peaceful protests?
A: Mahatma Candy!
Q: Why did the candy bar get cold?
A: Because he wasn’t wearing a sweeter!
Q: What do candy bars look for on online dating sites?
A: A deeper confection!
Q: Why did the chocolate ice cream go to jail?
A: He was confected of causing cavities!
Q: A chocolate bar got kicked out of a bar. Why?
A: He was starting truffle!
Q: Why is chocolate the best gift to give a loved one?
A: Because chocolate makes the heart grown fondue!
Q: Why did the boy cry?
A: Because he wanted s’more chocolate!
Q: What do candy bars need to write to get a degree?
A: A dessert-ation!
Q: Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
A: Because he drank a tall hot chocolate mocha frappuccino with low-fat soy milk and cinnamon dolce sprinkles before it was cool!
Q: How should you describe eating a mint-chocolate candy bar?
A: As an enjoy-mint!
Q: Why did the candy bar get hired?
A: He was very a-dipped at his job!
Q: Why did the dark chocolate truffle give everyone the cold shoulder?
A: He thought he was bitter than everyone!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a chocolate bar?
A: A cow-cow!
Q: What do you say when a candy bar fails his exams?
A: He fudged it!
Q: What’s the difference between a man dressed in robes and a king enrobed in chocolate?
A: Cocoa nib-ility!
Some candy bars went to a chocolate milk bar – they got cocoa-lly i-nib-riated!
Q: Which chocolates are less likely to help you out when you’re in trouble?
A: Semi-sweet ones!
Q: What did the candy bar say to his date?
A: Orange-you going to invite me in?
Q: Why wouldn’t the chocolate truffle answer anyone’s calls?
A: He was desfondant!
Q: Why didn’t the candy bar get locked up for eating chocolate?
A: It was not a cream!
Q: What happens when candy bars pass on?
A: They get cream-ated!
Q: Why was the chocolate bar always grumpy?
A: He was ill temper-ed!
Q: Why did the chocolate bar blush?
A: Because he was bar-e!
Hilarious Chocolate Knock-Knock Jokes
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Hopefully, chocolate. If not, let’s just say you might want to close the door and try again because anything else is a disappointment. But since we can’t physically deliver chocolates through your screen (yet), here’s the next best thing: chocolate-themed knock-knock jokes to keep you laughing—and maybe craving a little sweetness.
Let’s knock-knock our way to chocolatey chuckles!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Chalk
Chalk, who?
Chalk-o-late!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Candy!
Candy, who?
Candy you make me a cup of hot chocolate?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
How dairy!
How dairy, who?
How dairy steal my chocolate!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Mr. Good
Mr. Good, who?
Mr. Goodbar!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dairy?
Dairy, who?
Dairy milk chocolate!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
It’s after!
It’s after, who?
It’s After Eight!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Cow!
Cow, who?
Cow-cao moo!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Temper!
Temper, who?
Tempered chocolate!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Twix!
Twix, who?
Twix up his sleeves!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Kit!
Kit, who?
Kit Kat!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Hello!
Hello, who?
Hello, can I order a skinny hot chocolate frappuccino to go?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Des!
Des, who?
Dessert!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Bar!
Bar, who?
Bar-bar chocolate sheep, have you any chocolate milk?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Please, sir!
Please, sir, who?
Please, sir, can I have s’more!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Choc!
Choc, who?
Choc-it-out!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Life is!
Life is, who?
Life is like a box of chocolates!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Keep calm!
Keep calm, who?
Keep calm and eat chocolate!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Rich!
Rich, who?
Rich, dark, and hot chocolate!
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Orange!
Orange, who?
Orange-you going to let me in?
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
I believe!
I believe, who?
I believe in chocolate chip cookies!
Short Chocolate Jokes
Kids love showing off new skills, especially jokes—short ones are their favorite! And when you mix humor with their love for chocolate, it’s a recipe for endless giggles. My toddler even raids the fridge daily, hoping for a hidden stash of chocolate—proof that chocolate and jokes are simply irresistible. If your little one loves creating special moments, they might also enjoy helping you pick out a few fun love poems to share with Dad—it’s a sweet way to make the whole family smile!
Why did the chocolate bar go to the doctor?
Because it was feeling a bit nutty!
What do you call a witch who loves chocolate?
A choc-o-late.
How do you make a chocolate milkshake?
Give it a good scare!
What’s a chocolate’s favorite book?
“Cocoa Puffs.”
What’s a snowman’s favorite chocolate?
Icicle-ate!
Why did the chocolate chip cookie go to the doctor?
It was feeling crumby.
What’s a vampire’s favorite chocolate?
Blood-chocolate.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate.
What did the chocolate say to the peanut butter?
“You’re nuts!”
Why was the chocolate chip cookie sad?
Because its mom was a wafer too long.
What’s a chocolate’s favorite place in space?
The Milky Way.
What do you call a monster made of chocolate?
A choc-olate.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive chocolate collection?
A chocoholic!
What do you call a cow that makes chocolate?
A cocoa-moo.
How do you fix a broken chocolate bar?
With choco-glue!
What’s a skeleton’s favorite chocolate?
Ghoul-axy.
Which candy is never on time?
Choco-late!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a chocolate bar?
A vamp-chocolate!
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
It lost a filling!
Why don’t chocolate bars ever play hide and seek?
Because they always get found!
What’s a chocolate’s favorite country?
Swiss-erland!
Chocolate One-liners Jokes
One-liners are quick, clever, and even better with chocolate. Perfect for parties, Valentine’s Day, or just a good laugh, these jokes are sure to delight kids and even get a chuckle from adults. Let’s unwrap the fun!
- “Chocolate is like duct tape; it fixes everything.”
- “Chocolate is the sweetest form of rebellion.”
- “I’m not addicted to chocolate; we’re just in a committed relationship.”
- “There’s no ‘we’ in chocolate.”
- If you can’t remember my name, just say “chocolate,” and I’ll turn around.
- “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat chocolate.”
- “I don’t need an inspirational quote; I need chocolate.”
- “Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don’t need an appointment.”
- I like my chocolate like I like my relationships – sweet and a little bit dark.
- “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
- Chocolate doesn’t judge you; it understands your weaknesses.
- I’ll stop eating chocolate when they make a chocolate-flavored kale.
- I don’t have a sweet tooth; I have a whole sweet set of teeth!
- Chocolate never asks silly questions. Chocolate understands.
- Life is like a box of chocolates; it doesn’t last long for fat people.
- I used to be a chocoholic, but now I’m on the chocoholics’ 12-step program – I take it one step at a time!
- “Chocolate is the real magic in the world.”
- “I’m not fat; I’m chocolate enriched.”
- “Life is short. Eat chocolate first.”
- Chocolate is the answer, who cares what the question is!
The Sweetest Wrap-Up
Let’s face it—chocolate is the best friend who never lets you down. Bad day? Chocolate’s got you. Need a laugh? Pair it with one of these jokes, and you’re golden. Whether you’re cracking up over a funny chocolate pun or sneaking a secret treat, the combination of humor and cocoa is guaranteed to turn any frown upside down. And if you’re looking for more ways to keep the smiles going, check out these romantic love riddles for a sweet twist to your day.