Mom guilt is a real thing, perhaps short only of being an official psychological condition that affects many women after they have a baby. It comes up all the time: when they need to go visit a friend, when they want to have a coffee in peace, when they must shower.
The idea of leaving their children in a potentially vulnerable position sharpens the guilty conscience and turns it into a perpetual mode. No wonder mom guilt is especially extreme when women consider returning to school.
According to 2025 data shared by the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, only 4.6% of student parents earned a bachelor’s degree within six years. Among non-parenting students, almost 14% did. Among student mothers, less than 4% completed a degree within this timeframe.
If these are statistics for bachelor’s degrees, imagine the situation for moms who wish to pursue higher education or a program to explore a different career path. The guilt can be so thick that it becomes impossible to cut through.
It may be time to adopt alternative strategies to return to school without succumbing to mommy guilt.
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Consider Programs With Demonstrable Rewards For Your Family
First, a disclaimer: If you have set your heart on pursuing a course that fills you with joy, don’t let anyone come in the way. Not others’ unsolicited opinions. Not your own apprehensions. This could be as “obtuse” as learning pottery in a three-month workshop or as intense as an executive business degree to kickstart your home-owned enterprise.
But if you are open to exploring your options and wish to study further for career-related reasons, it is worth selecting something with demonstrable rewards. These could be financial gains, such as a skill-development program linked to a pay raise. Or it could be a course that allows you to work a flexible job and spend more time with your kids.
Bureau of Labor Statistics data reveals that many of the best-paying jobs are in the engineering, computer science, and health sectors. For example, the median annual wage for engineering and healthcare majors is $100,000 and $72,000. These are opportunities available with a bachelor’s degree, which suggests that higher education can further increase your earning potential.
The bottom line? Going ahead with further education is an investment in your family’s future, even if it means less time spent with them in the short term.
Explore Online and Asynchronous Course Formats
When considering college or higher education, many mothers are anxious about the time they will need to spend away from their children. Residential courses or those that require everyday travel can be challenging to manage without significantly altering family dynamics. Unless you have ample support for childcare, these avenues may be arduous.
This is why online courses and asynchronous delivery formats are gaining in popularity. Statistics published by Market Data Forecast indicate a 31% growth rate for the US online education market from 2026 to 2034. The demand for self-paced learning and technological advancements is promoting this growth.
St. Bonaventure University notes that fully online courses and asynchronous learning can be convenient as they are designed to fit the student’s life. Another advantage of having access to online learning is that women who wish to restart their careers or change their field can find the necessary confidence and resources to do so.
For example, social work is a highly sought-after career choice due to its emotional rewards and flexible work. Pursuing an online MSW degree (Master of Social Work) can be a fast track but adaptable route to entering this field and obtaining licensure. Some programs don’t demand prior experience in the field, which makes them suitable for anyone who wants to start afresh.
Making headway in IT and software fields is also increasingly feasible, especially with new openings in training AI models and annotating data. Industry data highlights that the share of women in global GenAI enrollments has increased over the past few years. Encouragingly, many women who enter these learning pathways also show stronger persistence.
Dispel the Supermom Notion and Demand Teamwork
Guess what is another big source feeding into mom guilt? The social idea that women can (and must) be supermoms. This construct suggests that women can do everything, from taking care of children to working full-time jobs, and also ensuring that their house is pristine. This belief keeps many mothers away from returning to school as they believe it will be another added responsibility they must juggle.
There’s even a name for these feelings of negativity and sheer exhaustion: it’s called depleted mother syndrome. Cleveland Clinic explains that while this isn’t a diagnosis, research suggests that women experience greater stress and anxiety than men in everyday decision-making. Over time, it manifests as a sharp lack of energy and feelings of cynicism.
“Holding your to-do list in your head is exhausting, too, so the act of managing all of these tasks can be overwhelming, leading to burnout. All that juggling and those mental exercises — and the guilt from not doing it perfectly — results in women experiencing burnout more often than men.” – Dr. Amy Sullivan, Clinical Health Psychologist.
Do you feel like this? You should seriously consider saying no more often and spreading out the work: to your partner, your kids, and your extended family. Paid childcare may not fit every budget, but tap into all the help you can. Neighbors, colleagues, gym group, church…they say it takes a village. So be it.
FAQs
1. How can I deal with guilt about spending time on my education?
Try viewing education as an investment rather than a sacrifice. Studying may require short-term adjustments. But the skills, confidence, and career opportunities you will gain can have lasting benefits for both you and your family.
2. How can I balance school with parenting and other responsibilities?
No doubt, it can be tough. Many student mothers rely on support from partners, family members, friends, or childcare providers to make time for coursework and studying. You must create and adhere to a realistic schedule with defined priorities. Asking for help will be key.
3. Can I pursue a master’s degree if I have been away from school for many years?
Yes. Many programs welcome students who are returning to education after a career break or time spent raising children. Some also provide academic support and flexible learning options for nontraditional students.
Moms Considering Higher Education: At a Glance
| Student parents face graduation challenges | Only 4.6% of student parents earned a bachelor’s degree within six years, compared to nearly 14% of non-parenting students. |
| Student mothers face even steeper barriers | Fewer than 4% of student mothers completed a bachelor’s degree within six years. |
| Online education is growing rapidly | The US online education market is projected to grow by more than 31% between 2026 and 2034. |
| Flexible learning can reduce scheduling conflicts | Online and asynchronous programs allow students to complete coursework around family obligations. |
| The “supermom” expectation contributes to stress | Research suggests women experience higher levels of daily stress and decision-making burden than men. |
Defeating, Not Just Dealing, With Mom Guilt
Guilt is deeply unpleasant to deal with. For mothers, it can impact their day-to-day life and mental resilience when facing challenges. It becomes impossible to focus on anyone’s happiness when you are struggling with feelings of guilt at each juncture.
For moms, there’s an immense load society places on their shoulders. The need to be forever present. The need to treasure every moment. The “tradeoff” of choosing education and careers over their children and family stability.
Perhaps it’s time to stop just dealing with these roadblocks in the way of being truly happy. You need to defeat this perpetual guilt using whatever armor you can find. Returning to school and chasing your dreams can be a terrific way to do that.
