Are you and the kids in need of a good belly laugh? If so, why not try out some of these stupid riddles? They’re whacky, silly, and downright ridiculous!
In order to guess the answers correctly, you’ll need to think like a mad hatter! Luckily, I’ve also included the answers, so you won’t go crazy wondering what they are!
Stupid Animal Riddles
We all know how zany animals can be! However, these stupid animal riddles definitely take animal antics to the next level! Let’s see if you can guess the answers correctly.
What sport is a sheep’s favorite?
Baa-sketball!
What dance did the cow do at his school ball?
The moo-nwalk.
Why couldn’t the giraffe go on the theme park rides?
Because he was too tall!
How do donkeys get to work?
They kick it!
What do you get if you cross a car with a sheep?
A shaggy carpet!
How can you tell there’s “an elephant in the room?”
Because everyone is very quiet!
Why didn’t the goldfish manage to change the light-bulb?
He kept forgetting as he only has a 3-second memory!
Why didn’t the cheetah buy a car?
Because he can run faster!
What do you get if you cross a tortoise with a cooking pot?
A slow cooker!
What did the penguin order at the takeaway restaurant?
An ice-berger with fries!
How does a fortune-telling elephant tell the future?
He just nose!
How does the lion like his steak done?
Raw-r!
Why couldn’t the panda make up his mind?
Because he is black and white!
Why was the octopus so ticklish?
Because he has ten-tickles!
Where do cow’s go on holiday?
Moo-ritius!
What do you get when you cross a shark and a tornado?
A shark-nado!
What is a cow’s favorite relaxing activity?
Watching a moo-vie!
Why was the polar bear so popular?
Because he was cool!
Why did no one trust the lion?
Because he was always lying down!
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What kind of bird doesn’t need a comb?
A bald eagle.
Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay?
Because then they’d be called “bagels.”
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boo-bees (boobies).
Stupid Food Riddles
I know your mother liekly told you not to play with your food. But that doesn’t mean you can’t mess around with the stupid food riddles!
Why are chefs mean?
Because they whip cream, beat eggs, and batter chickens!
What kitchen implement are eggs most afraid of?
Egg-beaters!
What do you get when you cross a hibernating bear with a flower?
A hib-iscus!
What did the strawberry say to the cherry?
You’re berry pretty!
Why did the banana get kicked out of the bar?
Because he went bananas!
Why did no one laugh at Mozarella’s jokes?
Because they were too cheesy!
Why did the green bean miss class?
Because he’d been sprouting!
Why did the fungi move house?
Because there wasn’t mush-room!
What do you get when you cross a sponge with a cappuccino?
A cap-cake!
Why wasn’t the almond allowed to join the club?
Because he’s nuts!
What round, red veggie are all the other vegetables afraid of?
Beat-root!
What do you get when you cross your foot with a loaf of bread?
A foot-long sandwich!
Why didn’t the toothless man like dessert?
Because he didn’t have a sweet tooth!
Why was the nacho so upset?
We don’t know as he didn’t want to taco about it! He said, “it’s nacho business!”
Why did the soup win the race?
Because he was runny!
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
I’m a yellow fruit, and I’m known for making people slip. What am I?
A banana!
I’m a type of nut, and I’m often roasted during the holidays. What am I?
A chestnut!
What do you call a vegetable that tells jokes?
A corny comedian!
What’s the strongest vegetable in the world?
A muscle potato!
Stupid Car Riddles
Joking and driving is a dangerous affair! Instead of risking your life on the road, why not risk a laugh with these stupid car riddles?
Why did the birds make friends with the airplane?
Because he had two wings, a tail, and a cock-pit!
What do a horse-drawn carriage and a car have in common?
They both have blinkers!
Why did the car stop on the side of the road?
Because he was all tired out!
Which is a boat’s least favorite vegetable?
A leek!
What do amphibians and cars have in common?
They can both be toad!
What kind of vehicle does a sleepy bull drive?
A bull-dozer!
What do you get when you cross a sub sandwich with the ocean?
A submarine!
Why did the pick-up truck fail his exams?
Because he was a bit rusty!
Why didn’t the mechanic go through with his plans?
Because he scrapped them!
Why did the flamingo cross the road?
Because there was a pink car on the other side!
What does The Joker do when he drives to work?
He jokes and drives!
What do you call a car that tells jokes?
A “punch” buggy!
Why did the car’s engine go to therapy?
It had too many “exhaust” issues.
What kind of car does a sheep drive?
A “lamb”orghini!
Why did the car apply for a job?
It wanted to quit being a gas guzzler!
What did one car say to the other car?
“I’ll drive, you steer!”
Stupid Sports Riddles
Making fun of sportspeople may land you in hot water. But, it might just be worth it as these stupid sports riddles are much better than a kick in the head!
What do basketballers also dunk other than a basketball?
Donuts!
What’s a soccer player’s favorite color?
Goal-d!
What is the longest-lasting race per distance?
A snail race!
Why did the amateur golfer wear two pairs of shorts?
Because he thought he might get a hole in one!
What is a racket’s favorite veggie?
A squash!
Why did the jockey get disqualified?
Because he was horsing around!
What do lazy people and soccer players have in common?
They both like to kick it!
What do tennis players and waiters have in common?
They both serve!
Which sports do bats prefer to play?
Baseball!
What’s the laziest sport in the world?
Snail racing.
What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball?
“See you at the court!”
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
Because he wanted to tie the score.
What’s a baseball player’s favorite candy?
Popflies.
What did the football coach say to the vending machine?
“Give me my quarterback!”
Miscellaneous Stupid Riddles
Are you feeling random? If so, then these miscellaneous stupid riddles are just the thing!
Which tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree!
Why did the lady bury her mobile phone?
Because it’s battery died!
What do you get if you cross an x-ray with a feline
A cat scan!
Why did the chicken lose out?
Because she put all her eggs in one basket!
How does the grim reaper like his coffee?
Black!
Why did the volcano get a fine?
Because he was smoking!
What was the lightning bolt’s nickname?
Air fryer!
I’m often running, but I don’t have legs. What am I?
A nose.
What has a head, a tail, but no body?
A coin.
What goes up but never comes down?
Your age.
What has keys but can’t open any locks?
A bunch of bananas.
What has a spine but no bones?
A book.
Conclusion
Glum, boring, and all-too-quiet days are not the most fun! Lighten up your lazy afternoons with some funny jokes, puns, or stupid riddles! Good belly laughs are included!
Check out these other great posts!
30 Fun Rhyming Riddles With Answers
60 Best Riddler Riddles With Solutions