Over the past several years, I have struggled a bit with my body image as a mom. I have had 4 kids, so my body definitely has felt the effects of stretching and going back to a semi-normal shape for the last 16 years. Not only that, as a mom, it seems we put everyone else first, and so we don’t take the necessary time to really focus on ourselves. It is hard for most women to look at our own selves and call us beautiful because we see all the imperfections: too big of noses, stretch marks, extra skin, saggy breasts, and a little more junk in the trunk, to name a few of the things we see.
We find ourselves comparing ourselves to fashion models that have like no body fat or through other famous influencers that appear to look way cuter than us. With all these things stacked against us, it is easy for us as a wife to think that we are not beautiful. If you are a husband reading this, I am going to tell you all the secrets to help your wife feel beautiful all over again!
How to Make Your Wife Feel Beautiful – From the Wife’s Perspective
Let’s be honest; all husbands think they have the most beautiful wife, which is hugely important. It is especially important to let her know and have her believe she is that beautiful wife that you know exists!
#1. Tell Her Often
First of all, with women, hearing is sometimes believing. Tell your wife often that she is beautiful. Tell her in the morning, during the day, and at night. Don’t tell her because you want to be intimate with her, tell her just because.
Go one step further and tell her she has the most beautiful soul, or eyes, or whatever you think is beautiful about your wife.
As you continue to tell her over time, you will see her countenance change because she will actually start to believe you when you say she is beautiful.
#2. Do not look at Pornography
Husbands, DO NOT LOOK at Pornography! This will absolutely crush your wife and ruin her forever. She will constantly wonder if you are comparing her to the women on the screen, and she knows that she will never look like those women. Her self-esteem will pretty much be gone, and it can lead to many other things, especially depression and anxiety.
When I was getting my degree in marriage and family studies, I spent a lot of time studying the effects of Pornography on the family as a whole, and each and individual member and the effects are long-lasting for the few minutes of joy you might get as you watch it.
#3. Put a picture of her on your phone
Nothing says you love your wife and you think your wife is beautiful more than displaying her picture where you see it most! Place a cute picture of her (it doesn’t have to be just her, it can be with the kids or even you) as your home screen. That way, you see her every time you unlock your phone, and everyone else sees it too!
What a great way for your wife to feel beautiful.
#4. Picture of your wife on your desk
To go along with the picture on your phone, place a picture of your wife on your desk at work. This is a great way for everyone who comes into your office to see just how lucky you are to be married to a beautiful wife.
#5. Compliment Her
Compliments go a long way! When you compliment your wife, she feels better about herself in general, making her feel beautiful. It is especially important to complement her in front of others like your friends. Tell them how awesome your wife is!
Sure, she might be a little embarrassed at first because most women don’t know how to accept awesome compliments, but over time she will graciously accept them and know that you mean every single word that you say!
#6. Encourage your Kids to Tell their Mom she is beautiful
Be sure the kids know that you think their mom is beautiful. Kiss her in front of them, hold her hand, and tell them that they have a beautiful mom. They may giggle at first, but over time they will begin giving their mom genuine compliments as well.
My 4-year-old tells me how pretty I am and that I make the best chicken! (By the way, he hates my chicken) but these compliments are genuine, sincere and mean the world to me and make me feel like a beautiful mom and beautiful wife.
#7. Take Her On Dates
Your wife needs to get out! If your wife is a stay-at-home mom, you can imagine that she might feel like she is going stir crazy on some days wondering what the purpose is because cleaning baby spit up and picking up Legos for the 5000th time can be exhausting. Take her out on a date! Plan a date, let her get dressed up, and have fun just the two of you.
#8. Stop Using Her As a Dumping Ground
Guys go to work and come home, and what is one of the first things they do? “You aren’t going to believe what happened today at work!” This leads to a 20-30 minute rant at times about your day before your wife even has a chance to say anything. This might then be followed up by “what’s for dinner?” “Or why the house has toys everywhere.” Guys. I am telling you to stop unloading all your problems on her the first minute you see her. Give her a genuine upbeat conversation before you talk to her about the heavy things.
#9. Be Positive
Guys, be positive! One complaint after another is so hard on your wife’s soul. She will begin to internalize everything and feel like she can’t do anything good enough, and it will lead to her feeling like she is not good enough in all aspects of her life.
Be sure that if you have something that is bothering you that you ensure that she hears multiple positive things with the negative things. This will not only make her feel loved and special but will improve your relationship 100%.
#10. Don’t Compare Her
It is natural for your wife to compare herself in every single aspect of her life to others. She sees “perfect moms” and “perfect homes” all over social media, and she is struggling to figure out how they have it all together and not her.
The last thing she needs is her husband to start comparing her to everyone else. “Well, Johnny’s wife goes to the gym every day.” “Sam’s wife just lost 30 pounds.” “I saw Billy’s wife, and wow, she is looking good.”
With these statements, your wife starts to feel like you want her to be all of these things that she feels like she is not. Be sure to give your wife genuine compliments that you truly mean.
#11. Be Deliberate
Nothing says I know I have a beautiful wife than being deliberate with your actions. Make an effort to start each day by giving her a hug and telling her good morning.
Give her flowers just because! If you have never done this, you will be amazed at how it makes her feel.
Write a note to her. One of my favorite things about my husband is when I get a card from him because he really does write me an absolutely sentimental and special message. I wish I didn’t have to wait so long for these messages. Grab a post-it note and write something you love about her and post it on the mirror. Do this every day for a week and see what happens!
As you are more deliberate with your relationship with your wife, she will feel beautiful more than she ever has before.
#12. Be her biggest cheerleader
Is your wife involved in something or want to start a new project? What about trying hard to get a promotion at work? Know the things she is most excited about or even nervous about and be her biggest cheerleader routing her on!
Her knowing that you are excited for her will mean so much to her even if the project flops or she doesn’t get the promotion. Be sure that no matter what, you are always her number one fan in everything she does!
With many ideas to make your wife feel beautiful, you might feel a bit overwhelmed thinking you have to do them all at once; you don’t start with one or two. She will notice the small and simple efforts and be thrilled about your relationship, and know that you think your wife is beautiful!
Do you have any other great ideas? Add them in the comments so we can add them to the list!