50+ Best Back to School Jokes

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Nothing helps the nerves of any major event like a good joke. So with back to school just around the corner, we thought we would share some of the best back to school jokes to get the kids laughing and forget about the nerves they are feeling.

So prepare to make your kids laugh hysterically with these back to school jokes.

The best thing about these jokes is that you can teach them to your kids, teachers can share with their class on the first day and friends can share them with each other.

What a better way to head back to school with some funny jokes!

Best Back to School Jokes

The Best Back to School Jokes

Q. How did you find school today?

A. I simply hopped off the bus – and there it was.

Q. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

A. A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Q. Why did the boy eat his math homework?

A. Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

Q. Do you know how bees get to school?

A. On the school buzz!

Q. Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?

A. She couldn’t control her pupils!

Q. Why can’t you work in an orange juice factory?

A. Because you can’t concentrate!

Q. If you had 19 oranges, 11 strawberries, 5 apples and 9 bananas, what would you have?

A. A yummy fruit salad.

Q. Why did the girl eat her homework?

A. Because she didn’t have a dog.

Q. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?

A. Geometry

Q. What U.S. state has the most math teachers?

A. Mathachussets.

Q. What kind of school do surfers go to?

A. Boarding school.

Q. How can you make seven even?

A. Take away the “s”.

Q. Why did the boy go to school with his pants tucked into his socks?

A. To protect himself from mathema-ticks.

Q. What school supply is always tired?

A. A knapsack!

Q. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?

A. To reach the high notes.

Q. What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree?

A. Arithma-sticks.

Q. What’s a math teacher’s favorite dessert?

A. Pi

Q. What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?

A. A teacher says, “Spit out that gum” a steam train says, “Chew chew!”

Q. What room can a student never enter?

A. A Mushroom.

Q. How do you make sure to get straight A’s?

A. You use a ruler!

Q. Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

A. Because then it would be a foot.

Q. Why did the kindergartener bring a spoon to his first day of school?

A. He thought it was sundae school.

Q. What is white when it’s dirty and black when its clean?

A. A blackboard!

Q. What did the pen say to the pencil?

A. What’s your point?

Q. Why did the teacher write the class rules on the windows?

A. She wanted it to be very clear for her students.

Q. Matt had 60 cookies. He ate 30 of them. What does he have now?

A. a Tummy ache.

Q. Why was school easier for cave people?

A. Because there was no history to study!

Q. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?

A. Stop going in circles and get to the point!

Q. Who is everyone’s best friend on the first day of school?

A. Their princi-PAL.

Q. What did the triangle say to the circle?

A. You’re pointless

Q. Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?

A. Because it was always sweeping during class!

Q. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?

A. Bookworms

Q. What flies around grade school at night?

A. The alpha-bat.

Q. Why did the obtuse angle get upset?

A. Because it knew it would never be right.

Q. Why did the M&M go to school?

A. Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!

Q. What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?

A. A blackboard.

Q. Where do people go to learn how to make ice cream?

A. Sundae school.

Q. What did the math book say to the history book?

A. Boy, do I have problems.

Q. What did the algebra book say to the science book?

A. Boy, do I have problems!

Q. Why do magicians do so well in school?

A. They’re good at trick questions.

Q. Why did the teacher write on the windows?

A. He wanted his lessons to be very clear.

Q. How can you make one dime into 20 cents?

A. Place it in front of the mirror.

Q. What did the math book say to the history book?

A. You know you can count on me.

Q. Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?

A. She had bright students!

Q. What starts with a T, ends with a T and is full of T?

A. A teapot.

Q. How many women were born in the year 2008?

A. None, only babies were born.

Q. What’s the king of all school supplies?

A. The ruler.

Q. Why did the teacher marry the janitor?

A. Because he swept her off her feet.

Q. Why is glue bad at math?

A. It always gets stuck on problems.

Q. What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?

A. Pop quizzes!

Q. Why don’t you see giraffes in elementary school?

A. Because they’re all in high school.

Q. How do you make one vanish?

A. Add a ‘g’ to the beginning and it’s gone.

Q. What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher?

A. He has only one pupil.

Q. What food do math teachers eat?

A. Square meals!

Q. What is white when it is dirty and black when it is clean?

A. A blackboard.

Q. Where are the Great Plains located?

A. At the great airports!

Q. What’s big and yellow that comes every morning to brighten your mom’s day?

A. A school bus

Q. Why did the math book look so sad?

A. Because it had many problems.

Q. Why didn’t the sun go to college?

A. Because it already had a million degrees!

Q. Why was the geometry book so adorable?

A. Because it had acute angles.

There you have it the best back to school jokes!

Share your favorite back to school jokes in the comments!

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