The New Year is here, and while the rest of the world reflects on resolutions and fresh starts, parents know better. A “fresh start” usually just means starting the laundry—again. Whether you’re a sleep-deprived new parent, a seasoned parenting pro, or just someone who wants to laugh along with the chaos, this list is for you.
Here are 70 funny New Year wishes, broken into categories for parents, new parents, family, and friends. Let’s make sure the new year starts with a good laugh!
Also Read: 31 Biblical Wishes And Prayers For a Religious New Year
Funny New Year Wishes for Parents
Because parenting is a full-contact sport, and humor is the best defense.
- May your kids bring you as much joy this year as they bring crumbs to your couch.
- Here’s to another year of “finding yourself” by hiding in the bathroom.
- Wishing you fewer tantrums and more moments when the kids actually listen… but let’s not get too hopeful.
- May your coffee stay warm longer than it takes to open a sippy cup.
- Happy New Year! Let’s hope it includes fewer LEGOs underfoot at midnight.
- May your Wi-Fi be strong, your kids’ naps be longer, and your patience be infinite.
- Cheers to another year of parenting on caffeine, sheer willpower, and last-minute Amazon Prime orders.
- Wishing you the same dedication to your resolutions as your toddler has to refusing vegetables.
- Here’s to surviving 365 more days of yelling, “Put your shoes on!” every morning.
- May your kids sleep in this New Year… at least until 7 a.m.
Funny New Year Wishes for New Parents
Because nothing says “Happy New Year” like a diaper blowout at 11:59 p.m.
- Congratulations on making it through your first year as a parent! Now get ready to do it all over again.
- May your baby sleep like a rock… and not like the ones they keep throwing out of the sandbox.
- Wishing you a New Year where the baby’s first word is “Mama,” not “No.”
- Happy New Year! May your swaddle game be strong, and your burp cloths never run out.
- Here’s to fewer spit-ups and more reasons to smile this year.
- May your baby’s milestones be magical and their meltdowns minimal.
- New Year’s resolution: Accept that sleep is for the weak and coffee is your new best friend.
- Cheers to a year of finding bottles in the weirdest places and wondering if you showered today.
- Wishing you the strength to tackle teething, tantrums, and the occasional existential crisis.
- May your baby save their worst diapers for daytime and not at 3 a.m.
Funny New Year Wishes for Family
Because family gatherings are the original sitcoms.
- Happy New Year to the family who knows all my quirks and still loves me anyway.
- Happy New Year! May the group chat remain active, coherent, and slightly less focused on questionable casserole recipes.
- Wishing us a year with fewer family debates and more laughter… okay, debates count as laughter too.
- Happy New Year! Let’s make it a tradition to argue about something new this year.
- Happy New Year! Let’s aim for fewer “What did they mean by that?” family text moments and more unfiltered laughter.
- Cheers to a year of pretending we’ll stay in touch after the holidays… and actually doing it!
- May our family gatherings this year be slightly less awkward than last year’s (but just as memorable).
- Wishing you a year where no one asks, “So, when are you having kids?”
- Here’s to another year of swapping passive-aggressive stories that somehow end with hugs.
- Happy New Year! Let’s not wait until next Christmas to hug it out.
Funny New Year Wishes for Friends
Because friends are the family we choose—and complain about life with.
- Here’s to another year of swapping parenting horror stories over coffee (or wine).
- Happy New Year! Let’s make bad decisions together, just like we always do.
- May your New Year be filled with laughter, love, and just enough chaos to keep it interesting.
- Cheers to another year of laughing at memes that explain our lives better than we can.
- May our friendship stay as unbreakable as a toddler’s resolve to wear mismatched shoes to church.
- Here’s to a year where we both finally stick to our resolutions… or at least pretend to.
- Wishing you a New Year where the group chat stays funny and not awkwardly silent.
- May our friendship stay as strong as your Wi-Fi signal—because we need to keep sending memes.
- Happy New Year! Let’s not change too much; we’re pretty great as is.
- Cheers to a year where our plans to “hang out more” actually happen.
Funny New Year Wishes for Anyone!
Because laughter is universal (and so is chaos).
- New Year, new me… or maybe just “New Year, same snacks.”
- Wishing you a year where the only drama comes from Netflix.
- May your resolutions be as realistic as your holiday budgets weren’t.
- Happy New Year! Let’s make fewer mistakes this year—unless they’re funny ones.
- Here’s to a year of fewer “oops” and more “nailed it!”
- Wishing you a New Year so amazing that even your mistakes become funny stories.
- New Year, new me! Or at least… new socks.
- Happy New Year! Remember: you’re not lazy, you’re just strategically conserving energy.
- Wishing you a New Year that’s more organized than your closet… or at least more fun.
- Happy New Year! May your fridge stay full and your laundry pile small.
Wishes For Parents Surviving Chaos Together
Because if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry (and the kids will copy you).
- May your parenting this year be as graceful as a toddler dancing in the living room.
- Happy New Year! Here’s to another year of solving mysteries like, “Where is the other shoe?”
- Wishing you a year of epic bedtime stories and fewer bedtime standoffs.
- May your snacks remain hidden, your Wi-Fi remain strong, and your kids occasionally call you cool.
- Happy New Year! Here’s to never stepping on a LEGO again.
- May your “me time” last longer than the kids’ “quiet time.”
- Wishing you a New Year where everyone eats the same meal—at least once.
- May your kids remember to flush… and may the dog stay out of the bathroom.
- Happy New Year! Here’s to surviving school drop-offs with your sanity intact.
- May your year be filled with laughter, even when the jokes are at your expense.
Funny New Year Wishes For Kids (Or the Kids at Heart)
Because they make life messy, loud, and totally worth it.
- Happy New Year! May your toys stay out of Mom’s way and your snacks never run out.
- Wishing you a year of big dreams, small messes, and endless adventures.
- May your New Year be as fun as a snow day with no school.
- Happy New Year! Remember, Santa’s still watching… he just switched to a new list.
- May you find all your missing puzzle pieces this year (but don’t tell your siblings).
- Wishing you a year where you finally catch the ice cream truck every time.
- May your piggy bank stay full and your parents always say “yes” to dessert.
- Happy New Year! May your bedtime stories be epic and your bedtime battles rare.
- May you laugh more, play hard, and eat lots of cake this year.
- Wishing you a New Year filled with love, magic, and as little broccoli as possible.
Why Laughter Is the Best Way to Start the New Year
The New Year is a time for reflection, laughter, and maybe a little chaos—and no one understands that better than parents and families. Whether you’re sharing these wishes with friends, family, or fellow parents, let’s embrace the mess and welcome the humor in the New Year. After all, we’re all in this together… and that’s worth celebrating. Cheers! 🎉