Are you a parent who yells? I know that when I have personal meltdowns and end up yelling at my kids – I hate it. I hate myself in that moment. Never, ever do I want to be the kind of parent I see when I walk by in a grocery store or mall department store like the kind of parent I witness yelling, snapping, and yanking on their kids arm. Ugly – ugly – ugly.
Yet, I have lost it at times. I’m sure we all have.
The first thing I do when I have calmed down or had time to reflect on the “heating-my-temper” event, is I apologize to my kids. Every time. I say I’m sorry. My guilt and sorrow usually will not let me carry on too long without getting this out of the way. Once I have done that, I reflect and ponder over what happened to see how I could have responded differently and what other choices I could have made.
I have come to learn that when I continually lose my temper or get stressed at certain times or in certain situations, that it’s time for me to try something different. Whatever I’m doing is obviously not working and I don’t want to become “that” parent who is a yeller. Sometimes doing something different means I have to meet with my kids and let them know that a few things will be changing. Other times it means me having a little talk with the Lord and myself and making some internal changes or decisions so that when things heat up again, I’m prepared to take pre-planned steps to alter the outcome.
I don’t have parenting down to a perfect science. I don’t make the right choices every time. In fact, I am constantly learning from my mistakes. But I do know that when I re-think my game plan, it allows me the flexibility I need to mold and tailor things to my personality and to my families’ lifestyle. What works well for one family may not work well for mine depending on how we go about our day or how we respond to things.
Sometimes I have to try something different many times before I get down just the right plan of attack for myself and my kids. But when I do, the reward is in achieving a semblance of peace and positive spirits in our home. It feels so good.
We all need to be willing to adapt. Change things up if they aren’t working in your home. Try something different – something “out of the box” – something zany if need be, to reinforce the needed flow and order in your home. There are so many ideas that can work in so many different situations whether it be morning routines, nighttime routines, or simply disciplinary tactics. But once you find that right “fit” for your family – it will be so worth every effort and thought you put into it.