Sharing is Caring!

The babysitter just arrived, with her iPod blaring and a completely unapologetic smile on her face – despite the fact that she was supposed to be there 37 minutes ago. You’ve now got (gulp!) only eight minutes until your date will be ringing the doorbell and you’re in sweats, with a scrunchie in your hair and a greasy-looking complexion.

date_readyWhat can you do?

Step one: Kiss your child and run at the speed of light to the bathroom, where your outfit, accessories and necessary tools will be waiting for you. Strip while plugging in a medium-barrel curling iron.

Step two: regardless of the fact that your child has been out of diapers for close to a decade, baby wipes will save the day – use them to quickly freshen up any, um, unfresh body parts and spritz a little perfume in the important areas.

Step three: Use another wipe to degrease your face, then splash some water on to remove the baby-scented residue – which may or may not be the reason your uterus just started spasming and you can suddenly hear a clock ticking. Follow with a water-based lotion.

Step four: Check out your teeth, woman, and swish some minty mouthwash around while you dab a yellow-based concealer on any dark circles or blemishes. Blend like the dickens while spitting, if you dare.

Step five: Make your rose-coloured lipstick multitask by using it like a crème blush and eye shadow (setting it with a light dusting of pressed or loose powder), then layering it on your lips over lip balm. Apply a dark tone of mascara, sparingly. Hint: you’re going for a naturally gorgeous, I just roll out of bed looking this good look (not pressed for time and didn’t look in the mirror).

Step six: Now that your makeup is done and the curling iron’s warmed, throw the scrunchie in the garbage (so 1995) and use the wand to add a few loose curls at the crown, as well as a few in the back of your hair. Think volume and body. Spray with a natural-hold setting lotion. Pin the front sections of your hair in a sort of upside-down French twist by gathering a half-ponytail at the back of your head, twisting it twice in one direction and then securing it with strong bobby pins. Spray again, if you feel it’s required; don’t if you want to maintain an effortlessly beautiful French image.

Step seven: Get dressed, answer the doorbell when your date arrives and pretend that you spent hours getting ready.

Step eight: start looking for a new babysitter the next day.

Sharing is Caring!