Are you making yourself last on the list?
It’s so easy to do, we almost don’t even know we’re doing it.
Most of us try to begin our day with a plan, a timeline: get up early, workout, shower, wake up kids, dress them, feed them, get them out the door, head to work. These are the things we think about just before falling asleep at night.
But it only takes one unforeseen thing to derail the plan.
Someone’s sock doesn’t fit right, another kid can’t find his left shoe, and little girl is protesting her hair being brushed – you know, rational things. It is those small setbacks that trickle into the day and you find you’ve lost time you needed, and nowto-dos must be shifted or completely dismissed.
That’s when we give up things for us. It’s called mom life; we will even sacrifice our lunch for other people (this is why moms are known as selfless!).
Falling into this cycle of letting yourself lose out eventually leads to always losing out. Always sacrificing.
But we need to stay fair to ourselves. We need to make sure we don’t always put ourselves last (or sometimes nowhere) on the list.
I’ve realized that when I’m starting to feel really tired or not as positive about myself, it’s because I’m lacking in giving time to myself. The items I went over in my mind the night before that were for me disappeared, and all that’s left is what needs to be done for all the others in my life (bless them).
All can be right in the world, but when there is no time for me, my energy and mindset is not where I want it to be. Now it is time to refocus and remember who you are.
6 Ways Moms Can Practice Self-Care
#1: Have Something That’s Your Own
Stay-at-home moms and even working moms are more than ever finding ways to earn extra income. Not only does this help add some extra dollars to the family fund, but it also lets you have something that’s completely your own.
#2: Practice Positive Self-Talk
As cliché as it might sound, talking to yourself in a positive light can do so much for your mental state.
Most of us are saying things to ourselves anyway, so why not lift your own spirits? Daily affirmations, quotes, and self-improvement podcasts will all contribute to a healthy mind. Whatever works for you, do it!
#3: Commit Time for Yourself
Arrange it with your partner, enlist the help of family, set up a babysitter, whatever you have to do, but set aside the time you need to get a haircut, pedicure, or massage or to go to that yoga or workout class you used to love.
It’s all about making sure you give yourself some time for the self-care that makes you feel good.
#4: Take That Night Out
It’s time to set an actual date to go to dinner and a movie with your partner, grab a drink with some friends, have that Wednesday Girls Coffee Date you have been talking about.
You want to put yourself on that list, give yourself that separation from work and kid craziness (we love them, though). But it’s time.
#5: Get That Workout In
If you planned it, complete it.
You wanted to do it; you probably needed it. I love that there are so many online videos and apps available now at your fingertips to help you get that 15-minute HIIT workout in.
There are days you’ll slip (you’re human!), but work on not breaking promises to yourself.
#6: No One Should Be Your End-All
I say this with love, because I know it is so hard not to feel this way. Family is huge and so important, but don’t make it your only purpose.
I have so much pride in my kids and my husband and the support system I have, but I have always made sure that if they are all in school or working our doing their own thing, I’m not left there twiddling my thumbs.
Kids grow up and stop wanting you to tie their shoes (it really does happen, imagine that), so savor the moments, but make sure you picked up hobbies or indulged in your passions! You’ll need them later in life.
When you have a work life, family life, and obligations, everything matters, including YOU. Make sure you take the time not to get lost in it; you want to be the best mom, employee, entrepreneur, friend or whatever, and it starts with you.