Relationships: we need them. Any dynamic between you and another person is one and they all need some form of nourishing. At times, it can feel as if you’re pulled in a million directions by each kind of relationship, with each person.
But you only have two arms for them to pull on, don’t you?
It’s terrifying, how many warnings out there about what can happen if you don’t give your all. After all, who wants to end up the crazy cat lady, the mid-life divorcee, or the mother to children stealing to cover the costs of their drug addictions?
Of course, I’m taking liberty and I don’t actually believe that a person is solely responsible for these stereotypes. But that’s not what the media, well-intentioned (nosy) strangers and even your mother-in-law may want you to think. They say that everyone’s success and happiness is all on you.
Forgive the epithet, but eff that noise.
You’re responsible for ensuring that you conduct yourself in a manner you’re happy with regardless of who else is involved in the interaction – your children, spouse or mother-in-law. Or cats.
After the intro post, we discussed how we can close the door on health worries by exercising control over the things that we can, leaving the rest up to life. Relationships are the same. Some people are just jerks and regardless of how you treat them, they’ll remain so; some relationships are irreparable; some children, regardless of how good their mothers may be just… get lost.
It happens. Life happens. But here’s what you can do:
- Follow the golden rule, treating others how you’d like to be treated, regardless of any manner we might use to segregate people into classes. Including yourself.
- Learn how to fight fair with your spouse.
- Be kind to the customer service rep: they are not ‘you people’; they’re likely frustrated by issues and trying to get through their days unscathed, too.
- Use your manners.
- Show everyone the respect due to them.
- Treat children – even small children – like people, not one step above a pet.
- Don’t try to control the people surrounding you, even if they make poor decisions.
- Give time to your friends, community, children, spouse and yourself in appropriate measures. Devoting yourself to one or two areas causes the others to suffer.
- Find spirituality in anything that helps you find order in the world.
- Learn to trust.
- Forgive, but don’t necessarily forget.
- Learn who is an emotional vampire, and who your frenemies are.
- Don’t play games, follow rules or otherwise manipulate relationships.
- Treat any interaction with anyone as if it’s your last chance to make an impression.
- Love unconditionally.
|About the Author
Terra (aka Zoeyjane) is a single mom to a crazed nymph of a preschooler in Vancouver. After rocking at making rich people more money, selling them shiny shoes and helping them deal with their unimpressed clients, something made her think parenthood might come easy. She’s since learned her lesson, with a lot of time outs along the way. When she’s not trying to get the yelling to stop and ignoring the jumping of a child high on agave syrup, she works from home as a freelance writer and small business consultant, blogs on various sites and remains active in social media.
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