If you are currently married, you may have those days where you might think to yourself, what is the purpose of marriage anyway? But as we sit back and reflect, we see so much good that marriage brings that outweighs those days that you struggle with the purpose of marriage.
The Purpose of Marriage
I got married young… Like nowadays, it would be considered extremely young, I was 20. From a young age, I was taught that the purpose of marriage was to fall in love, have babies, and grow old together. Since then, I have come to find that there is so much more to marriage than this.
First of all, let me begin by saying marriage is hard, especially when you have certain expectations in marriage. To some, it might be one of the hardest things that you might do, but with time commitment and compassion, it can really turn into one of the most beautiful things.
For much of my adult life, I have been married. I was married at 20, had two kids quickly, and then we struggled for much of our marriage. It was no one’s fault per say; we were young and really did not know the first thing about sacrifice, compassion, and communication. 9 years later, it ended in divorce. I was devastated because my marriage had, in fact, failed. I felt like I was a failure. As I reflected back, there were so many things that I missed while I was single that I had when I was married; this is when I really started to understand the purpose of marriage. This self-reflection allowed me to find a new spouse (who I love dearly) and find solace in the purpose of marriage.
I am not going to say that my new marriage is perfect, far from it. We still have disagreements, don’t see eye to eye with all things, and have other struggles, but we handle those arguments wisely.
There are many purposes of marriage from my perspective, and when we start to recognize these, we are able to really take our marriage to the next level.
9 Reasons Why Marriage is Important
#1. So You Will Never Be Alone
At the beginning of time, Adam was on Earth. God created Eve to be a helpmate to Adam because it was not good for man to be alone.
I think this same purpose in marriage still holds true. Husbands and wives are there for each other and to help one another. This might mean by taking turns running the kids to soccer practice, or finding someone to fix the leaking toilet, or just being an emotional support to one another.
Without a spouse, you might experience some pretty lonely days feeling like no one gets you and being totally overwhelmed with your day-to-day life.
#2. To Always Have a Best Friend
Nothing gives me greater joy than when my kids ask my husband who his best friend is, and he says to them that it is their mom. Being married to your best friend means you get to wake up with something to always say to the person laying next to you and go to bed laughing with the person laying next to you.
Being married to your best friend means that no matter what, they always have your back, a shoulder to cry on, and your biggest cheerleader right by your side.
There have been many times when I have been leary about something that I am doing, and I look over, and my husband is there watching, encouraging me, and giving me the strength to just keep going.
#3. To Bring Out the Best in Each Other
They always say marry someone better than you. I always wondered how it was possible for both individuals to marry someone better than themself, but over time I have really figured out what this means.
Each of us has different qualities, and when we marry someone better than us, it helps us bring out the best in each with those things that we might struggle with a little bit.
In my marriage, my husband grounds me a bit, which is what I needed. I needed someone to say, “wait a minute, let’s think about that before we jump and do it.” By doing this, we have been able to make some wicked smart decisions together that I would not have made before marrying him.
For me, I bring a more positive outlook to things. With him being in the military, it is a one way is the right way, but I have been able to teach him that there are many ways to do things that have really been a blessing to our marriage, our family, and others that we interact with.
#4. Have Fun
Life is too short not to have fun, and one of the main purposes of marriage is to have fun. With everything going on in the world around us, we need someone that we can laugh and have a good time. You want someone that you want to travel the world with and just have fun with even if you are not doing anything at all.
How can we not talk about intimacy when we talk about the purpose of marriage?! Of course, this is one of the most important things in marriage! When you are intimate with someone, it allows you to really connect on a much deeper level than you could ever imagine.
Some couples struggle with intimacy. And one of these main struggles is that they don’t know how to talk about it! It all comes down to communication. If you feel like intimacy is not a purpose of a marriage, perhaps take some time to reflect on why you feel like this?
- Do you like to be intimate? If the answer is no, try to determine why and talk with your partner about it.
- Are there things you wish were different about relationships when it comes to intimacy? Talk to your partner about them.
A lot of couples feel like if they have to talk about intimacy, it means that something is wrong with their relationship, but this simply is not the case. Talking about it actually ENCOURAGES a better relationship.
If you are struggling with intimacy, find ways to rekindle intimacy, especially after kids.
While I understand that kids might not be in everyone’s life plan, it is one of the best reasons to be married, in my opinion. Sharing in the joy of raising kids is priceless.
When husband and wife raise kids together, it bonds them more than they can imagine.
Just the other day, my husband and I were watching our son open his birthday presents on his birthday. He got so excited about each and every present. There was one in particular that really touched me. It was a small Lego set from his sister. As he bounded around the room with excitement over the “monster truck” he just got, he then quickly set it down and went to her and gently gave her the sweetest hug and told her to thank you.
This moment was precious to share with my husband because at that moment; I knew we were doing something right as parents together. We were teaching our children to love and show gratitude.
Another purpose of marriage that cannot be forgotten is respect. In marriage, you learn to respect one another in so many ways. You learn that everyone has different ideas, ways to do things, and opinions, and in marriage, we learn to really respect those differences.
This helps us go outside the home and respect others as they might have very different thoughts and opinions as we do.
L-O-V-E. There is no better thing in marriage than the true love that you share in marriage. This love is not conditional on if you empty the dishwasher or buy your spouse that really fancy car, but it is an unconditional love that is priceless beyond everything else.
Through this unconditional love that we receive, we are able to give it to others. We feel a sense of security with this love that no matter what, our one and only soulmate will be there to love us.
The final purpose of marriage, in my eyes, is forgiveness. Forgiveness, perhaps even when you feel the least deserving of it.
The other day I was reflecting back when I felt down in the dumps, depressed about something that had happened years before. It came to me that I was holding on to something that I should have let go of years ago. It took some time, but I was finally able to forgive that person for something that they had done. When I did this, it was like a weight had been lifted off me, and I was happy again.
Marriage helps us learn to forgive quickly and often. I am sure we have all experienced things in our marriages that have hurt, some more than others, but as we work these things out and extend grace to others and truly forgive, it will make our marriage so much stronger. We then can take these same principles that we learn and forgive others that hurt us along the way.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. There are days that will be hard, harder sometimes than we want to do, but as we work through these things and remember the purpose of marriage, we will get through them. Marriage helps us emotionally, spiritually, and physically and as we put our whole heart into it, it will be something that your kids will look back on and say, “I want my marriage to be just like my parents are.”
What is the purpose of marriage in your eyes? Share in the comments!
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