How to Win Your Wife Back? | 20+ Surefire Ways That Work

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If your relationship is on the rocks because of something that you’ve done, it may be necessary to take steps to save it!

Here are some surefire ways of how to win your wife back and revive the romance, too!

How to Win Your Wife Back?

How to Win Your Wife Back?

Don’t fear if your relationship is going through a rocky patch! Below, I’ve listed various steps you can take to win your wife back and truly mend your relationship.

Review Your Behavior

Before talking with your wife or attempting to win her back, it’s important you look at what caused the rift in the first place. If your actions were largely to blame, you need to own that.

Otherwise, it’s likely the same situation will occur again. Try to map out exactly what happened, why you acted the way you did, and whether or not this is a regular pattern of yours.

In some cases, both you and your wife may be to blame. However, we cannot change others nor be responsible for their actions – we can only look at what we do and change that behavior.

If you’re willing to work on your relationship to save it, that means working on yourself, too! Know what you need to change and work on within yourself before trying to save your marriage.

Make a Genuine Apology

Once you know what you did wrong and are willing to work on it, make a genuine apology. Say sorry, but also go into more detail, including what you were responsible for and why it hurt.

I could advise you to simply say, “honey, I’m sorry.” But, if the apology isn’t genuine and doesn’t come from a place of true remorse, then it’s not a real apology at all, is it?

Ultimately, though easies, this route will likely land you up in exactly the same spot in no time at all. And, next time, your wife may not be so open to forgiving you or working on the relationship.

Talk About the Relationship Issue’s Openly

To some extent, arguments and even intimate open conversations are often avoided by couples. Yes, even husbands and wives who have been married for years or decades!

Whether by upbringing or beliefs, we often learn to keep certain things inside, leading to a lack of real, open communication in our relationships.

Though the relationship can continue for a long time like this, many couples find it may start to break down after some years! So, do try to really talk about the things that matter.

After all, if you and your wife aren’t having real, open conversations, one could claim that you have no relationships as you’re not truly “relating” to each other at all!

Hear Her Out

When you talk more after apologizing to your wife, take the time to hear her out. Let her voice her feelings, opinions, hurt, and issues.

Though you may not agree with all she has to say, it’s important that she airs it. So, try to be quiet and listen without getting upset, butting in, or contradicting her.

You can also respond with affirmative statements like, “I see that you feel angry about/ when ….” or “I hear that you are upset about/when …” to let her know you’ve heard her.

Express Yourself

In some instances, you may feel that your wife has done something to hurt or upset you, too. If necessary, you can also talk to her about your side of the story.

Chances are, if you’ve listened to your wife fully, she will be just as open to follow your lead and listen to your side.

Try not to be accusatory in your approach of how to win your wife back, either. Instead, opt to express how the situation or behavior made you feel.

Start with statements like, “I feel upset because…” or “when you do that, it makes me feel as if…” or “I feel like you often don’t…”

Be Calm, More Emotional & Open

When we start a conversation, it’s important to come from the right place. When angry, destructive, or prideful, we can do a lot more harm than good.

Often, our pride or anger can make us more likely to act out of self-interest or self-protection than in the best interests of the relationship.

That’s why open, empathetic, calm, emotionally-based conversations and reactions are best to solve issues. Not protective, angry, “fight or flight,” or prideful responses that are self-focused.

If you generally act or talk from this place, and never openly or calmly, then you may have just found one of your main relationship issues!

Be Prepared to Compromise

In relationships, we absolutely need to compromise to make things work. Basic compromises can include eating the takeout your wife wants or going to her preferred holiday destination this time.

When it comes to more serious things, such as where to live, how to raise the kids, or whose beliefs should be followed, things can get a bit more tricky!

If you’ve looked around at the world recently, it’s easy to see how a lack of cooperation and compromise has led to many conflicts, including, unfortunately, full-scale wars.

It’s the same in the household, though a lot less public. So, try to make peace, not war, and be willing to compromise on some, if not all, your wants and find mutually beneficial workarounds.

Take Her Out to Dinner

Once you’ve done all the hard work – apologizing, having an open talk about the problem, and finding workable solutions, do something fun and take your wife to dinner!

A romantic spot, or perhaps, a memorable restaurant, such as wherever you took her on your first date, would be ideal!

Buy Her Flowers

Another romantic way of how to win your wife back is getting her a bunch of lovely flowers! You can even include a card with some romantic love quotes in it!

A gorgeous bunch of her favorite or favorite color blooms, such as red roses, lilies, a potted orchid, along with a genuine apology, will likely do wonders to save your relationship!

Give Her a Sweet Gift

You can also get your wife a sweet gift, such as perfume, jewelry, or something else she’d appreciate.

We may not think of giving gifts at hard times like this, but she may appreciate commemorating this time where you took a big step to change, apologize, and sort out your relationship issues!

Write Her a Letter

Spoken words are easily forgotten over time, so do also consider writing your wife an apology letter. So, she can keep it and read through it every time she wants to remember this time.

Show Her You’ve Changed.

Actions speak louder than words – there’s no doubt about it. If you’re truly sorry, then you (and maybe her) won’t go back to the same behavior that caused the issues before.

Remember, it’s not just about getting her back; it’s much bigger than that! Winning your wife back is also about improving your relationship and bond – now and in the future!

Keep Your Word

If you make any promises, be it to change, improve, work on your issues, or anything else, be sure to keep them! If not, you may cause a whole lot more issues later on in the relationship!

With this in mind, be sure not to over-promise or promise things you can’t deliver! Start off small with achievable acts you can meet and make good on!

Take a Break

Sometimes, it may be necessary to take a break from your relationship to think about things. If your wife asks for this, or you truly need more time to think (not to avoid the issue!), do take one.

The break could be short enough to calm down or a bit longer, like a holiday or stay at a friend’s or family member’s house.

Be sure you and she are honest about why you want to take this break, though. And, do make an extra effort to think about the issues and problems while on break, not try to avoid them!

If you are just trying to avoid the issues by taking a break, you may have just found another issue in your relationship! Avoiding issues or sweeping them under the carpet will only lead to more problems in the future!

Offer to Go to Couples Therapy

One of the best ways of how to win your wife back is to consult a professional. If your relationship issues are beyond you, it may be time to call in one.

A qualified therapist or relationship counselor can offer invaluable, sound, calm, and objective advice. After all, they have likely dealt with many couples with a variety of different issues!

They will also be able to mediate between the two of you for a better outcome.

With that in mind, do try to be open-minded, communicate openly, and make an effort to do whatever work you’re encouraged to by the therapist, not just “show up.”

Consider Adjusting or Working on Your Behaviour

If you’ve done enough self-searching, you may have realized that you have some issues you really need to work on! In this case, do be prepared to do this.

Often, it’s not always our relationships or partners that are the issue, but us! Yes, our incorrect learned behaviors, unhealthy reactions, and bad habits can wreak havoc and destroy our marriage!

Be it childhood traumas, learned behaviors from our parents or social groups, limited understanding of emotions, or bad habits; we need to take responsibility to work on them.

You can start off with self-help books, but going for singles therapy may also be beneficial. And, remember, it’s not just about acting the part; you also need to dig deep and do the work!

Start Dating Her Again

If you have gotten your wife back, don’t stop there! Taking our partners for granted can more often than not lead to relationship issues later on.

So, never stop dating your wife! Instead, woo her, take her for dinners, schedule date nights, buy her little gifts, give her compliments, write her letters, buy her flowers – and don’t ever stop!

Unfortunately, too many men wait until their relationships are on the rocks to make grand, romantic gestures. Then, return to doing nothing much when things are “back to normal!”

This is a terrible strategy! Instead, keep the love and romance alive by always making an effort to connect with your partner.

Flirt, Talk With & Compliment Her

Communication is key when it comes to healthy relationships. However, don’t only communicate when things are bad or when you’re thinking of how to win your wife back!

Be sure to communicate how much you love her and all the small things you appreciate about her! Whether it’s her new haircut, cooking, or lovely, or strong nature, be sure to let her know!

Besides compliments and flirting, you can also take time to have deep conversations with your wife too! Some good topics include her beliefs, goals, hobbies, work, and interesting life stories.

Start Educating Yourself About Healthy Relationships & Habits

Not all of us cause harm in our relationships on purpose. Sometimes, we are just ignorant to certain healthy and unhealthy behaviors we have, most of which are simply learned, not conscious.

So, if you want to improve your relationship and avoid issues later on, do read up on the topic! There are so many fantastic relationships, self-help, and psychology books to consult these days.

Accept That She Might not Forgive You.

Sometimes, we do very stupid things that harm our relationships. If you’ve truly hurt your wife and the relationship, understand that your wife may not fully trust or forgive you straight away.

That’s ok – let her take her time to process what’s happened. In time, she may do so. Or, she may not, and that’s ok, too.

Just be sure to make concerted efforts to adjust your behavior, show her you’ve changed, act accordingly, and build back her trust.

Remember, Love is a Verb

Many of us consider love to be simply fun or a happy feeling or romantic attachment to another – but it’s actually a lot more than that! Love is a verb; yes, it’s a doing word!

Love is all the things we choose to do for and give to others, even family and friends. As a wise man once said, “we don’t give to those we love; we love those to whom we give.”

So, a healthy relationship habit is to concentrate on what you can give to the relationship and your spouse, not just what you’re going to get!

As with all things in life, the things we water, nurture and give to are the things that grow into something truly special!


There are many ways to win your wife back after losing trust or doing something that’s put your relationship in danger. Hopefully, this post has helped you know how to win your wife back!

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