Has it ever happened to you that you lost one of your good friends because you said something to them or behaved in a certain way that you regretted later? Or have you ever faced any unfavorable situation because you lost your cool?
Knowing how to control your emotions is a great skill. In this piece, I am going to talk about how you can master it. Also, I am going to add here some of my personal experiences as well.
I am a very emotional person. I always speak my mind, and sometimes, my emotional outburst has led me to several unwanted situations.
I had a complicated pregnancy. I suffered from a miscarriage when I was three months pregnant, and I lost one of my twin babies. Because of this heart breaking experience that I had, I am very protective of my baby girl.
Whenever she cries or gets hurt, I have an emotional outburst. And because of this, I say things to my close people that I don’t really mean and should not have said. My words hurt them.
So, I am practicing controlling my emotions to at least some extent so that I don’t end up hurting people who are close to me. And if I can do this, you can too!
Jonatan Martensson rightly said, “Emotions are much like waves, we can’t stop them from coming, but we can choose which one to surf.”
So, how to master your emotions?
Well, you can use different mental health techniques along with some changes in your lifestyle in order to overcome your negative feelings that can lead to huge amounts of distress.
How to Master Your Emotions And Control Them?
You cannot choose what happens to you, but you can choose how to respond to it, right? That is exactly what I’ll be talking about in this post.
1. Make Sure to Notice When You are Being Too Emotional
If you want to have control of your emotions, the first thing that you need is to know when you are overreacting. Take some time and ask yourself how you feel mentally and physically. This will help you identify the moment your emotions are out of control.
You need to be able to hold your emotions when they have started to spiral. And for this, you have to be mindful and have conscious thoughts. Because if you identify your emotional outbreak when it has reached its peak, you will not be able to do much.
So, how does it feel mentally and physically when you are having an emotional outbreak?
The chances are that you will have rapid breathing, tense muscles, and a faster heart rate. As a result, you may feel anxious, overwhelmed, or panic-stricken. You may lose your focus. And you may feel like you are not being able to control your thoughts.
Whenever this happens, try to slow down. Focus on your body’s reaction – one element at a time. For example, suppose you are feeling anxious all of a sudden. Try to understand how exactly your body is reacting to it. Your heart may start beating fast, and you may feel that your palms are sweaty. Instead of judging them, you need to acknowledge your feelings and accept them.
Also Read: Fear As A Parenting Tactic. I’ve Done It.
2. Recenter Your Mind by Focusing on Physical Sensations
Have you ever said or done something at a place because of your emotional outburst that you regretted later?
I feel you, buddy. I have been through this. So, what can you do to avoid this situation?
Make yourself notice things around you. Also, you need to notice the physical sensations that you are going through.
This is exactly where grounding exercises come into the picture. It makes use of all your five senses or most of them. This, in turn, keeps you rooted in the present moment. For example, I suggest that you speak loudly. Why?
Because when you do so, it will make your brain shift from all the overwhelming emotions you are experiencing at the moment. Once you are away from your emotions, you will be able to focus on what you are actually saying or doing.
Let me give you an example. You can look at what is there around you and then describe what you see loudly. Can you hear any sound? Describe it. Can you smell anything? Describe it. Is there something in your mouth that you can taste? Describe it.
Did you know that there are many essential oil blends that can help you with anxiety?
Carry one with you. Smell it whenever you feel stressed and anxious.
3. Take a Deep Breath to Calm Yourself
You may have heard numerous times from your family and friends that you need to take a deep breath whenever you are feeling anxious. And now, I am saying it too.
Your breathing can get out of control when you get too emotional. This may give rise to anxiety and stress. So when you sense it happening, take long, deep breaths. The benefit?
This will calm not only your body but also your mind. In fact, you can even learn deep breathing techniques from a professional if you want to get your desired outcome.
Here, I am sharing a technique with you.
To start, place your right hand on your chest and your left hand just below your rib cage. Now use your nose to take deep and slow breaths. Count four while you do so. You will feel your abdomen and your lungs fill with air and expand. If you find it hard to count to four, you can start by counting to two.
Once you have inhaled the air, keep it in your lungs for one or two seconds. Then use your mouth to exhale the air slowly. Try to take eight to ten deep breaths in a minute.
Make sure that your breaths are really deep.
4. Let Your Muscles Relax
Did you know that making your muscles relax can help you get rid of mental and physical tension?
Have a close look at your body. Identify where exactly you are keeping your stress. Once you do that, your job becomes easy. All you need is to relax your body’s specific parts.
Relax your shoulders, hands, and your legs. Shake your fingers and roll your neck. This will help you in keeping your mind steady.
Now, are you having difficulty making your body relax?
You can try PMR, which is known as progressive muscle relaxation. What happens in this method is that you need to tense and then release your muscles – all in groups. This starts from your toes and then goes up to your head. This can be very beneficial for you when you are learning how to master your emotions.
5. Make Your Own Box of Joy
When Google Photos shows you your memories from the past, it makes you feel good, right?
You need to create a box of a similar kind for yourself too. Or, you can make a book as such. So, what exactly is this box of joy like?
This is something that you can divert your mind to when you feel anxious. And after looking at the things in the box, you end up being in a happy mood.
What can you fill this box with?
You can add anything that makes you happy or reminds you of your happy memories. It can be mementos and pictures of your favorite people and things. Is there any inspirational quote that you really believe in? Then take a printout of it and keep it in the box.
Do you keep a journal, or did you ever use to keep a journal at some point in your life? Include it in your joy box. Is there a book that you like? Keep it here. Have you received gifts from your favorite people that mean a lot to you and bring back many wonderful memories? Put them inside the box.
Whenever you feel emotional or anxious, take out this box of happiness and have a wonderful time.
And did I tell you that you can create a digital version of this box too?
6. Imagine Yourself in a Soothing Place
Is there any place that you find calm, soothing, and safe?
Then imagine yourself in it. Of course, it would be great if you could literally visit one. Anyway, close your eyes and visualize yourself in your favorite quiet place. And while you do so, make sure to breathe evenly and slowly. The aim here is to let out the stress in your body and let in the quietness of your calm place to cool down your emotions and thoughts.
Is your safe place your bedroom or a beach? Then think about the things that you generally do or hear there. Imagine the textures and the smells as well.
Are you facing issues in closing your eyes, or are you having trouble imagining your place of calm completely? Then what you need to do is visualize it as fast as you can. Then, remember the calm and the soothing feeling that the place offers and take deep breaths slowly.
7. Know Your Emotions
When you don’t know who your enemy is, how will you fight against it, right?
The same is the case with your emotions. If you want to learn how to master your emotions, then you need to know which exact emotion you are having trouble with. So take a couple of long and deep breaths and then make yourself focus completely on your feelings – no matter how painful it is. What is the source of this emotion?
Let me give you an example. Are you anxious because you have to appear for an interview with a reputed company? Is it the company that you have always wanted to work with? Are you nervous because you want to crack it no matter what?
Know that there is no emotion as a wrong emotion. If you tell yourself that what you are feeling is wrong, it will suppress your emotions, and this way, you will be hurt. So feel the emotion but don’t pass any judgment.
You May Also Read: How To Avoid Losing Your Temper?
These are some ways how to master your emotions.
Don’t forget to let me know how far you have progressed!