When two people are in a relationship, it can sometimes be difficult to deal with the differing opinions that are naturally present. Each person has unique perspectives and ideals, and when two people are together in an intimate way, these differences can be hard to reconcile. When we try, unfortunately, we often tend to lode our cool and strike out and argue instead of discussing the matters constructively. It is possible to avoid this, however – to work together and discover solutions that will keep everyone happy.
Not only is it very possible, but it is critical to a happy relationship, and here are five things you need to keep in mind to make it happen.
1. Prevention.
Oddly enough, it seems like the little things are what get under our skin and eventually cause us to blow our stack. This happens because we can have a tendency to keep those little nuances locked away inside until it’s too much to bare, and we wind up losing our cool, lashing out destructively. You have to be able to discuss things as they happen, and if you have a problem, try to find a positive to solution to it instead of letting it bottle up.
2. Bring attention to the solution of the argument.
You need to make sure that you go into a discussion with the intent of coming up with a solution to the problem, and nothing else. There is no room for petty anger or picking fights. Keep in mind the things you say and the way you act, and make sure it is appropriate for emphasizing a constructive atmosphere. If you focus on trying to be constructive, you are less likely to run off at the mouth and say things that you don’t mean, and that will help your discussion and your relationship.
3. Detail how you begin your discussion.
This can be huge – how you bring up the topic can have a powerful influence on the direction the discussion is going to take. If at all possible, try not to make it a surprise. When you surprise someone with something, they have a natural tendency to react with emotion because they haven’t had the chance to start thinking logically and constructively. You want a discussion to be something done on purpose, not something that is stumbled upon. Let the person know that there is something you’d like to talk about, and ask them if they’re in a good position to do so.
4. Everyone has their own unique perspective on every matter, and you are only privy to your own.
Your partner may have a completely different way of looking at things, and they may not know some things that you do. It is crucial to consider your partner’s position and try to place yourself in his or her shoes. Try looking at it from their vantage point, and see how you feel about it. Can you more understand where they are coming from? A solution has to benefit both parties to really work, otherwise you are going to find yourself having a similar discussion in just a matter of time. Try to reach a resolution that works for the both of you.
5. Communication.
Everybody knows that good communication is the very key to any relationship, and being able to understand each other completely is very important in making sure nothing gets out of hand. Everyone says and conveys their emotions in different ways, making it very easy to misunderstand each other. Try and make sure that if you’re not understanding exactly what your significant other is saying, to repeat what they’re saying to you. For example, a good thing to say would be, “So, what I’m hearing is that you feel like…” Reword the things they are telling you the way you are understanding them, that way, they’ll be able to let you know if you are comprehending their words correctly. By doing this, you are ensuring that you aren’t going to have any more misunderstandings that’ll only further fuel the fire of the argument. You have to make sure that you both are completely understanding the other person if you plan on really solving the problem.
Arguing constructively can be difficult, but the key is going into it with an open mind and looking for a solution, not a fight. Keep these things in mind, and remind yourself that getting angry and yelling very rarely produces anything positive. Make sure the discussion is moving along constructively, and if it isn’t, don’t be afraid to stop, clarify, or even start over. If you can do all of this, you’ll find that those stressful, awful arguments will occur much less often and that you and your partner will have a much more wholesome relationship.
About the Author:
Cole Carson is a successful internet and network marketer. He specializes in motivational literature, health and wellness, and marketing and business topics. The Goji Berry Juice Dog wants to teach you all about how you can keep healthy! – www.goji-dog.com – www.health-goji-juice.com
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