Has your partner cheated on you?
Well, honey, I can feel you. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. When someone whom you have trusted so much with all your being and loved with all your heart cheats on you, there is nothing more shattering than that. But you have to be strong and move on with your life.
But how are you going to do that when all you feel is a hollow inside your heart? How are you going to move on when the love of your love cheated on you with someone else?
You know, there are actually things that you can do to get over it and heal your heart.
Jacqui Coles and Julia Keys, the co-authors of The MAN Script, have rightly said, “To have the best chance of achieving empowerment after such a painful experience, you need to begin to accept what has happened and what that now means to your life moving forward.”
They added, “Only when you put yourself in the driving seat, will you have the power to take control of your life and make it what you want to be. This is the most important thing you need to do in order to not only survive but begin to thrive. You have to tell yourself continually that you matter because you do.”
So, how to get over being cheated on?
Look at these ways!
How to Get Over Being Cheated on?
I know it’s quite unthinkable for now that you are going through a soul-crushing experience. But honey, why waste your time thinking about someone who is not even worthy of it?
Instead, try the following ways to get over it!
1. Know That You Are Not the One to Blame
Okay, so the first thing that you need to do is STOP blaming yourself. No, you are not at fault here.
When you look back and think about your relationship, you may feel that you could have done things differently. You may think that you are the one to blame here. In fact, your ex-partner may also blame you for their infidelity.
But that is NOT the case. It is not at all your fault. You are not the one who got into another relationship while still being in a relationship. Your partner did. They are the ones at fault here.
No matter how happy or unhappy your relationship was, they have NO right to sleep with another person while still being in a relationship with you. If they were having any issues with your relationship, they could have just told you, and you could choose to sort things out or go in your own different ways. But why the act of cheating on you?
So, accept that your partner is the one to blame, not you. You are the victim here.
2. Keep Yourself Busy
Do you find yourself occupied in the thought of your ex? Do you replay your last fight with them again and again in your head? Do you picture your ex with their new partner numerous times?
Then, dear, it is time that you break this soul-crushing cycle!
Whenever you catch yourself thinking about your cheater ex, do something to divert your head from it.
If you like cooking, watch a new recipe on YouTube and try making that. You can give yourself to solve a tough puzzle. You can play some loud music and dance to your heart’s desire to ease the pain. You can even go out with your friends, party together and have some good food.
Choose whatever you want to other than thinking about your past relationship. The motto here is to divert your mind from overthinking. After all, the less you think about your past, the less you are going to get hurt. And that is exactly what I am here to help you with.
3. Know that Grieving for Some Time is Okay
Dealing with heartbreak is painful. I know that. And feeling hurt is okay. After all, you have been betrayed by the one whom you have loved.
So, honey, take your time if you think you need some to grieve. There is nothing wrong in feeling so.
Do you know that it is actually helpful to spend some time sitting with what you are feeling is healthy?
Don’t try to ignore your feelings or push them down. Have a good cry if you are feeling devastated. Call a friend if you want to talk to someone. Just know that there is nothing wrong with how you are feeling right now. You need to process your emotions.
If your emotions change every now and then, know that it is okay too. For example, you may feel sad as your relationship with the person you love has ended. And just after a few moments, you may feel a sense of relief that you are no longer in a relationship with the person who has cheated on you.
4. Take Care of Yourself
Yes, dear, you need to take care of yourself no matter what. But, remember, it was just a relationship of lie that has ended. You still have your entire life in front of you. And for that, you need to make yourself happy.
It is perfectly fine if you need a day or two to take care of your emotions and feel sad about what has happened. But after that, you have to stand up again, enjoy life as it comes, and be happy.
If you are not in a good mood, which is very natural, you can start with little things. Get out of your bed, take a relaxing shower, and eat something even if you are not hungry. Drink plenty of water as this will keep you hydrated.
Start doing physical activities. It can be anything from walking in the park and hitting the gym to swimming and dancing to your favorite song.
If you are having a hard time falling asleep at night, try sticking to a regular schedule.
I know, the night is the time when you have those awful memories coming back.
You need to do something that makes you feel better, honey. So light up a scented candle, have a long relaxing bath, have a cup of coffee, or listen to your favorite playlist.
Isn’t the thought of doing all these making you feel better already?
5. Write Down Your Feelings
Are you having trouble expressing your thoughts to your friends?
Use journals. When your partner cheats on you with someone else, it gives rise to a lot of emotions and feelings. They are so painful that you don’t even feel like talking to your closest friends about them. But, you know, in order to move on, you need to get past those hurtful feelings.
So, in that case, the best thing that you can do is use a journal. You can write all about your emotions and things that have hurt you in the past and made your life miserable. This will make you heal faster. Isn’t that what you want?
And did I tell you that using a journal means no one is going to read that and no one going to judge you?
Yes, and that means you can bare your heart out on the pages of the journal. Is there anything better than this?
6. Don’t Use Social Media to Stalk Your Ex
I know it is quite tempting to stalk your ex on social media, especially in this age of technology, where we post almost everything on social media.
But, honey, you want to know how to get over being cheated on, right?
So, for that, you need to keep as much distance as you can from your ex. You may want to see pictures of them with their current partners, or you may want to know where they are and what they are up to.
But, doing so will only give you more pain. It will bring back all those memories you have with them, and you will have difficulty moving on.
You don’t want that, right?
Instead of following them on social media, unfollow them if you can. Of course, it would be best if you could block them. You can unfollow your mutual friends for the time being too. This way, you will not have to come across your ex’s post when you are least expecting it.
It would be great if you could take a break from social media and spend some time with yourself, doing what you love, making a hobby if you don’t already have one, and hanging out with your close people.
Sounds cool?
Also Read: 151 Romantic Love Riddles With Answers
7. Love Yourself and Be Kind
When you find your partner cheating on you and leaving you for someone else, it can be a lot for you to take in.
There may be times when you may think that the issues with you made your partner do this betrayal. Maybe it is you who lack something. But, honey, that is not the truth. They cheated on you because they wanted to. And there can be NO excuses for cheating.
If you start feeling low about yourself, you can do one thing. Take out a pen and paper and write down all the good qualities you have. And keep on adding to this list whenever you come up with a new quality to write about. Then, look at this paper when you blame yourself for all that has happened.
Tell yourself that you are the best and that you have got so many amazing qualities. And one day, you will definitely find someone who loves you for the person you really are – a person who actually deserves a wonderful person like you.
8. Don’t Give in to Your Anger
Once you are past the sadness of getting cheated on, the next thing you feel is excruciating anger, isn’t it?
But you need to keep your cool, dear. I know that you may want to send a nasty text to your partner’s current partner, confront your partner or spread some bad rumors about the two of them.
But that is not what you should do. Because, in the end, this is going to do nothing good to you. In fact, it may make you feel bad about yourself. So this is not something a wonderful person like you does, right?
Show your ex your big heart, and don’t get involved in things related to them. Instead, find happiness in your own life and concentrate on your own healing.
Even after that, if you feel like cursing your ex or writing a hateful email, make a rule for that. Give yourself a time of twenty-four hours. So, when you feel extreme hatred towards your ex and the person they cheated on you with, write an email but don’t send it right away. Wait for twenty-four hours. You may not feel like sending it after that time. Who knows!
9. Be Thankful for the Closure
Do you know when a relationship is happy?
It is when the two of you are really in love with each other and try to make each other happy. But, things turn ugly when one of you loses interest in the other and cheats on them with someone else. And it becomes heartbreaking when you are the one who has been cheated on.
You feel like the world has come to an end as it is almost impossible for you to picture the person you love with someone else. But, honey, do you know that your cheating partner can actually help in closing the chapter of your relationship easily?
How?
When you end a relationship, you may feel like getting back with your ex again, especially when you still have feelings for them. But unfortunately, this makes you waste a lot of time in your life, and it becomes difficult for you to move on.
But when your partner chooses someone else over you and starts a new life with them, you know for sure that they are not going to come back to you ever again. This closure helps you get over your past relationship and move on in life much faster.
10. Try Not to Think of the Relationship as All Bad or All Good
I know your partner has cheated on you with someone else. But, that doesn’t mean that you will take your relationship as pure black or pure white because that is not always the case. Most of the time, things are a mix of black and white, and sometimes, some other colors.
When you have a breakup, it can actually contribute a lot to changing the way you look at your relationship. This becomes especially true when the relationship ends on being cheated on.
You tend to think that what you had with your partner was perfect until they chose to cheat on you. Or, you may think that there was nothing good about your relationship. I suggest you try not to do that. It would be great if you could be neutral. Instead, accept that there were some good memories in your courtship. And, of course, make sure to learn from the bad memories of your relationship.
Yes, there will always be some negativity attached to your past happy moments. But remember, those moments are still a part of your life.
11. Channel Your Inner Strength
The feeling of being cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world. And if the cheater turns out to be your partner, then your pain knows no bounds. Isn’t it?
But, dear, you have to be strong and overcome this pain. And I know you can do it!
Do you know that things like betrayal can actually make you a stronger person?
Yes. When you go through a betrayal, it takes a toll on your mental health. You feel helpless, sad, sorry for yourself, and unable to share your pain with others. This is the time when you need to make yourself your best buddy.
Convince yourself that you CAN get over your ex, and you can move on and make a happy life for yourself. And trust me, you will actually be surprised to see how resilient you are!
Let me be clear. I am not asking you to feel empowered and strong all the time. It is natural to be sad at times while you are struggling to forget your past and heal yourself. Just have faith in yourself, and everything will fall into place.
12. Ask for Support When You Need It
No matter how mentally strong you are, the feeling of getting cheated on by your partner is devastating. You cannot change how painful you feel.
But remember, dear, you don’t have to go through this alone. One of the best things you can do is talk to your family, friends, a therapist, or even a support group.
Do you have a supportive family? Or, are your friends supportive of you?
Then turn to them when you feel like talking to someone.
Now, do you know that there are support groups for people who have been cheated on by their partners?
It would be great if you could join one. If you are not okay with meeting people physically and sharing your thoughts and feelings, you can join an online group and forum where there are people with the same painful past relationship as yours.
And if you are truly devastated after being cheated on, and if you feel like you need to talk to a professional, take the help of a therapist. They can also help you in dating successfully in the future again.
13. Trust Your Close Ones Again
Yes, your partner has cheated on you with someone else. But that doesn’t mean you will stop trusting your close ones altogether, right?
Look for the ones who have always been there for you. They are the people you need to let yourself trust. They can be anyone from your friends and family members to even your colleagues. Tell yourself there is no harm in trusting others, as everyone is not like your ex. So open up to them, as this will ease your pain of heartbreak to at least some extent.
I am not asking you to date right away. Because in order to be in a new relationship, you need to heal yourself first. Don’t push yourself if you are not yet ready to date again. It is okay. Take your time to heal.
14. Learn From Your Failed Relationship
Before I say anything, let me be very clear in my approach. First, do not blame yourself for your partner’s infidelity. Second, all I am asking you is to see if there is anything you think you can learn from your past relationship.
When you are sad just after your breakup, and you are thinking about your relationship, do you think that there is something that you would not do or do in some other way if you could go back in time?
What is it? Did you use to be mad at each other for trivial things? Did you use to care less about each other’s opinions on things?
Whatever it is, you can take lessons from it. And make sure to be kind to yourself when you do it. And do not dwell on your painful past. This will help you to have a strong relationship in the future.
However, this doesn’t mean that your partner can use it as an excuse for cheating on you because a heinous deed like cheating can have no excuse.
Read More: 234 Deep Relationship Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend
Conclusion
When you ask how to get over being cheated on, I would always say that apart from the ways I have discussed above, you should always give your wish a priority and how you want to take things. After all, it is your life, and you have the full freedom to spend it your way.
If you try these steps, don’t forget to let me know how it worked for you.
Happy healing!