Equality is something that should be at the core of every relationship, whether it’s before two people get married or even after they have been tied in holy matrimony.
In some relationships, there is one person who leads a little more than the other, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Instead of seeing it as submissiveness, it should rather be perceived as a situation where you respect the other person enough to trust their opinions.
So, what kind of relationship are you in? Who has the final say in your relationship – is it you or your partner?
You know, people talk a lot about you if you are a female and you are in a not-so-typical relationship. They wonder how you – the female – have the final say in your relationship.
But, my question is, “Is it actually bad where the female leads the romantic relationship?”
That is exactly what a female-led relationship or FLR is. It somewhat opposes the patriarchy, or at least it seems like that. BUT, this kind of relationship is not something that wants to step on men or demean them. It is just that the female acts as the dominant partner.
It is she who makes all the important decisions, and her male partner does not mind and submits to her.
In many cases, the woman pays for dinner, proposes marriage, and initiates intimacy.
Don’t worry. In this post, I will tell you all about a female-led relationship where couples don’t care about a traditional relationship and swap the gender roles.
Features of a Female-led Relationship
In order to understand more about FLR, let me tell you about some prominent characteristics of this kind of relationship:
- It is the woman in the relationship who makes almost all decisions – no matter how important or trivial it is. Of course, her male partner can suggest her something, but it is up to her if she will listen to it or not.
If the entire setup of this relationship is respectful, then the woman does listen to what her partner suggests.
What if she doesn’t listen to the suggestion? In that case, she will have to develop a proper reason for why she didn’t listen and offer a better route.
- She makes all the financial decisions as well. And her partner trusts her with their money.
- The male partner helps with household chores, including cooking and cleaning. Of course, these works are distributed between them.
- She makes arrangements for social gatherings and invites others. She knows best whom to send invitations to.
- She offers motivation to her man whenever he needs it and stays by his side so that he can be successful in his career.
- She is the dominant one in the relationship, and her partner is submissive.
- She takes her husband or boyfriend out on dinners, makes reservations, and places orders.
- She initiates the first kiss or other intimate things.
- She sketches out the sex life.
- She plans for yearly vacations.
Different Levels of FLR
Not all romantic relationships are the same. They are different from one another in one way or the other.
The same goes for female-led relationships. It has different levels. What are they? Scroll down!
As the name suggests, this level has the least women’s intervention. She may do the task that she needs to. It can be anything mild. For example, she may decide on the home’s interior or choose the color of the couple’s room.
Don’t get confused between what she needs to do and what she insists on doing!
Maybe her husband or boyfriend is not interested in how the interior should be or is confused with the decoration. In short, he may be completely disinterested these things. And that is the reason he is asking his partner to do it.
The second level is actually quite interesting for the wife or girlfriend. On this level, it is she who gets to make the basic decisions such as where to go for the next vacation or which restaurant to have lunch at.
She enjoys this superior part she gets to play and that she is the one who gets to make the final decisions. But, she also draws a boundary that she doesn’t want her partner to get much involved in this.
Just as the name suggests, this level is all about a harmonious balance. And not to mention that this level is the most preferred by couples in this kind of relationship.
The woman takes complete responsibility for the house and ensures that her husband or boyfriend doesn’t have any problem with it. It is a win-win situation for both of them as they are willing to work things out.
The woman becomes the boss of the house and rules her kingdom like a goddess. And the man enjoys getting pampered by her woman. This is something society has not seen much in the old days.
On the extreme level, the chances are that the woman goes overboard with all the power she has in the relationship. And she shows extreme dominance. From the color of the curtains to what to cook – she decides everything!
If things don’t go according to her order, she doesn’t tolerate them. This is where things start falling out of the safe zone.
- If you want to start with FLR and are new to these things, you and your partner can begin with the mild level – that is, level one.
- As a couple, one can move from one level to another.
- The moderate and balanced levels are most favored by couples.
- You can be in this kind of relationship if you want to try something new. If you don’t like it, you can go back to having a traditional relationship. This practice is not permanent.
- There is no such rule that you have to follow a specific serial.
- If you are interested in FLR, choose what is best for you and your partner.
- The extreme level can be good for couples only if they work according to their agreement.
Why Do People Opt for Female Led Relationships?
In most relationships, it is the man who says the final word. So, they wonder, “why do couples opt for something like a female-led relationship?” Here is the answer:
- Both the man and the woman become a lot more attentive in the relationship.
- As the man in the relationship steps back from the leading role, this leads to more agreements rather than disagreements.
- The woman in the relationship communicates more, so there will be an air of openness.
- There is a prominent division between the works done by both partners. Also, in most FLR, there is sharing of responsibilities. There will be variations as women are known for that.
- As the woman plays the dominant role in the relationship, she remains pleased. And so, they are willing to do what a man requests. So, naturally, this leads to more and better action in the bedroom.
- The relationship is strong, as it is based on mutual respect and not the couple’s responsibilities towards their children or gender roles. Here, the man places the woman on top – the lead in the relationship.
- Both the partners can express how they feel more freely.
Advantages for Women
There is no denying the fact that women enjoy a LOT of advantages in female-led relationships. After all, the relationship is named after them! As a woman, you may agree with how we have been treated unfairly for ages in relationships that men lead.
But of course, in this modern time, couples are going for equality in relationships. So what are the benefits that you, as a woman, can have from FLR? Read on.
- There is a high chance that you will actually end up loving your husband or boyfriend more in this type of relationship. Why? Because he will give you all the attention, care, and respect you deserve as his equal.
- You want to take an equal part in decision-making when it comes to your family and household, isn’t it? And that is exactly what you get from this relationship. In fact, in some cases, you may even have the upper hand.
- If you want, you can change certain bad habits of your partner and make them a better person.
- Do you like to be in charge all the time? Then his relationship is for you! You get to make final decisions in everything – from managing the chores to taking care of the finances.
- When you know that you are the one who is playing the dominant part in the relationship, you will struggle less for power. This will allow you to have inner peace and a better relationship with your partner.
Advantages for Men
The advantages that a woman has from FLR are evident from the name of the relationship itself. But how can this relationship benefit a man? Know here:
- There are men who actually like to stay away from their role as the family’s breadwinner – all thanks to their preferences or personalities! They love to take the traditional female role of cleaning, cooking, doing household chores, and taking care of the children. So they become very happy when they get a female partner who wants to take up the traditional role of a male.
- When a person makes all the important decisions, they remain under stress. This is especially true for the husband or the boyfriend in a relationship. But there are some men who want to stay away from this and have a relaxed relationship with their partner when their partner does all the decision-making.
- When a relationship is led by a female, there is a lack of tension. Why? Because both the man and the woman in the relationship are given equal say when it comes to making important changes. And when there is less tension, there is more happiness.
Bonus Read: 11 Definitive Signs He Sees Himself Marrying You
What are the Guidelines for Building a Successful Female-Led Relationship?
A female-led relationship is not similar to a traditional male-led relationship. This means you and your partner need to make a lot of effort in order to be happy in this relationship. Are there any guidelines to make your FLR work?
Yes. Follow these:
1. Understand Your Lines and Roles
You want to be happy in the relationship, isn’t it? So, you and your husband or boyfriend need to be very comfortable in the entire setup. You need to make sure that both of you understand as well as accept each other’s expectations and roles.
2. Be Honest
You may have heard numerous times from your childhood that honesty is the best policy. And that is so true in this case.
Always let your partner know your exact feelings. Tell them if you feel good, and don’t shy away from letting them know when you feel bad. Once they get to know how you feel, you both can sit and find a way to make things good in the relationship.
3. Ignore Others
Don’t ever let the thinking of other people ruin your relationship. After all, you are not in a traditional relationship.
So, different people will pass different comments that are not so good. But always remember, you should never let anyone be an obstacle to your happiness. Do what you and your partner like. Your satisfaction is all that matters!
4. Review from Time to Time
As the kind of relationship you are in is different from the traditional one, there may be times when you or your partner may get confused about what you or he actually wants.
That is the time when you need to sit for an open and honest discussion about your happiness, comfort, and what you expect from this relationship. And this should be done on a regular interval, maybe every month.
5. Stay Away from Abuse
NEVER be abusive to your partner, and DON’T let them abuse you. This rule is for every relationship – no matter what kind of relationship you are in. It’s a crime.
Always remember that neither you nor your partner should use the power negatively.
6. Don’t Overlook the Love
Did you know that traditionally FLR is a kind of BDSM relationship where the woman plays the dominant and the man the submissive?
Yes, but now people use it in a more general way where, in a relationship, a woman has more power than a man. So, don’t just care more about your role in the relationship. Instead, pay attention to how you feel for each other. After all, you are in a romantic relationship.
Cons of FLR
Everything has a positive and a negative side. And FLR is just the same. No matter how good it sounds, it has some drawbacks too. What are they? Scroll down.
1. Chances of Building Ego
When there is more power, there are more chances of getting hurt. And when the power is in a romantic relationship such as FLR, it can build ego in the female partner. As a result, they may start behaving as if they are above their male partner and not equal. A relationship is all about love, respect, and equality. If you can’t respect the submissive party, there is no point in staying in the relationship.
2. Being Soft-Hearted Can Be a Problem
We – women, are born emotional and tend to make decisions involving our hearts. This can, sometimes, make it difficult for you to make difficult choices. Men handle these kinds of situations well.
3. Unjustified Disadvantages
We promote the empowerment of women. That doesn’t mean that we will disrespect the rights of men. Some women in FLR can actually take disadvantage of their male partners in the name of women empowerment. But that should not be the case, as it does not fit the concept of this relationship.
4. No Acceptance from Society
The female-led relationship is comparatively a new concept that is opposed by a lot of people. This may act as a disadvantage.
5. Growing Insecurities
In this relationship, the male partner may start feeling insecure after a certain period of time. After all, this is not a traditional romantic relationship. And when that happens, know that is it time that you should stop this practice.
Do FLR Work?
Yes, female-led relationships work. But for that, both the man and the woman in the relationship should accept each other with love and respect.
In this non-traditional relationship, communication between you and your partner should always be given high priority.
This is a relationship led by a female, but you need to hear from your guy periodically. Does he like this whole setup? Is there anything that he would like to change? Ask him.
FLR work if both you and your partner are completely agreeable and committed to the setup.
As it is female-led, it doesn’t mean that this relationship is just for the benefit of a female. Remember, a man enters this relationship with full consent.
How Do You Know if a Man is Ready for FLR?
Now that you know a lot about female-led relationships, are you interested in having one? But, are you not sure if your boyfriend or husband will be the right person to be in a relationship of this kind with?
I have come up with a few characteristics of men who can be perfect partners for FLR. Check out!
Does your partner support you in each and every decision?
Then you have got the right partner to start this experiment in your relationship. No matter what kind of relationship you are in, the support of your partner plays an important role.
If he is there with you, whatever decision you make, then know that he is almost ready to be on this new adventure.
An understanding husband or a boyfriend is something that EVERY woman wants! And when you already have that, there is no stopping you from any kind of experiment you want to make in your relationship.
Of course, before you just tell your partner your decision, sit and talk. Explain why you want to have a relationship like this. If he agrees, congratulations!
Does your partner feel secure in your existing relationship?
Because if you have an insecure boyfriend or husband, the chances are that he will never agree to have a female-led relationship. The thought of a woman telling him what to do and what not to can scare him to death!
So, please check with your partner first.
Is your man independent?
Then he will not pay much heed to his position in the home. He will be very confident in himself that he can be submissive to a woman.
5. Respect You and What You Desire
I believe love is incomplete without mutual respect. So if your guy loves you, he will respect your decisions and desires.
When you tell him that you want to be in FLR just to try something new, if he encourages you, know that he is more than ready to be in this new adventure with you.
6. Willing to Experiment
Does your partner love to experiment with new things?
It can be anything from trying out new recipes to trying out more ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship.
If your answer is “yes,” then know that he is ready!
7. Respects Submission
You know, we are raised in such a society where women are always submissive. They are the ones who always receive. But there are men who also want to receive love from their wife or girlfriend. And the chances are that they will not mind being the submissive ones in a romantic relationship.
Does this sound like your partner?
Then, of course, he is ready to start this new kind of relationship with you.
Is your partner mature enough to understand the equation in a relationship led by a woman?
If so, then they may agree with you. But, if he is not that mature, then he may create issues, and you don’t want that, right?
So, talk to your partner before deciding anything.
Male Led Relationship vs. Female Led Relationship
A male led relationship is a relationship where the control lies in the hands of a man, whether the two people are dating or married.
The household is controlled by the man in such a situation, which is quite reminiscent of how things would happen in the past when men would make decisions related to how a home would run and how the relationship or marriage would proceed.
Several arguments exist about the validity of a male led relationship in the current era. Still, it can’t be denied that it’s very much present and will continue to be.
The following are some of the differences between a male led relationship and a female led relationship:
- A male led relationship is controlled by the man in the relationship, whereas in a female led relationship, the reins are held on to by the woman.
- Male led relationships have been around for generations, while female led relationships have been around for the last couple of years or decades, centering themselves around the capabilities of a woman.
- A relationship led by a man subscribes to certain gender stereotypes and patriarchal norms, such as the man being the family’s breadwinner and not considering the woman’s opinions before deciding.
- Relationships led by women do not adhere to traditional or age-old norms, and in fact, they tend to challenge them. Therefore, female led relationships tend to be more nurturing and welcoming, where both parties share responsibilities.
- Male led relationships could often be characterized by the features or aspects often associated with masculinity, which could lead men to feel pressurized or burdened. With female led relationships, however, those rigid characteristics do not come into play, as the people in that relationship believe in a healthy mixture of masculinity and femininity.
- The norms associated with men tend to display themselves in the behavior portrayed by a man in a male led relationship. For example, such men can be very loving and caring on the inside. Still, they are likely to be aloof and not show physical affection towards their kids.
- Such a level of baggage, as mentioned above, does not show itself in a female led relationship. Men and women have the freedom to adopt or refuse any kind of values or traditions.
- In male led relationships, men are usually the disciplinarians, while women tend to be more affectionate. In female led relationships, the women are in charge of discipline while the men display a softer side.
- When a man leads the relationship, he is the one who goes to work while the woman stays at home and looks after the kids and the household.
- When a woman takes control of the relationship, she is the earner in the family. The man may or may not be earning and can instead be staying at home to take care of the children and the chores.
Women make extremely strong partners. They’re kind, caring, compassionate, empathetic, and generous. The warm, motherly side of theirs is evident in the way they treat their partners as well, which is why a female-led relationship can be a beautiful thing.
In conclusion, it can be said that FLR is just like any other romantic relationship. Yes, it is not a traditional kind of relationship, but it requires proper communication and mutual respect, just like any romantic relationship.
Please note that this is NOT slavery. The male or the submissive partner plays an active part, and both the partners need to make an effort to make things work.
The female partner is indeed the lead, but every leader needs support, isn’t it?
So, are you ready for a female-led relationship with the love of your life?