7 Anti-New Year’s Resolutions Working Moms Should Make For a Saner 2023

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Vows worth keeping for a happier 2023.

For most of us, the end of the year means vowing to make significant changes to our lives. Yet, despite our best efforts, the majority of these well-intentioned promises to exercise more often or to eat less ice cream are broken within a few weeks of the New Year leaving us feeling disappointed.

This January, instead of forcing myself to do things I truly don’t want to do, I resolve to shed some of the restrictions that have made me feel overwhelmed, guilty or just plain unhappy.

Juggling life as a working mom is hectic enough, and these anti-resolutions might be the winning ticket to a calmer and more “sane” year ahead.

Resolutions Working Moms Should be Making in 2023

1. Let my Partner Help Out. My husband is great, but despite all he does, I am still considered the default parent—you know, the one who plans the birthday parties and schedules the dentist appointments. It’s not that my husband can’t or won’t undertake these responsibilities; it’s that I usually don’t give him the chance. But this year, I’m going to let go of my urge to control and simply accept his help, even if he doesn’t exactly do it the way I would have.

2. Put Down the Perfect Pins. What’s the fastest way to make a working mother feel guilty? Send her to Pinterest and show her all the wonderful, adorable, picture-perfect things she doesn’t have time to do. Anytime I try to replicate a pin, I ultimately fail and constantly have to remind myself that there’s no way that a working mother, or a normal human being for that matter, made that “Winter One-derland” dessert table. So this year, instead of looking on Pinterest, I’ll look on Etsy instead. Sometimes money CAN buy happiness.

3. Put Less Stock in Social Media. My head knows that social media only broadcasts the good parts in life and rarely the bad, but my heart doesn’t seem to understand this. It’s nearly impossible to avoid measuring my ever-chaotic life against the happy, peaceful ones I see shared in my newsfeed. This comparison can wreak havoc on our self-esteem because we are comparing someone’s highlights to our own behind-the-scenes. Perhaps 2023 will bring more gritty, honest posts to social media, but until then, I’ll pop in less often for self-preservation purposes.

4. Quiet the Working-Mom Guilt. It’s easy to blame society for my working mother guilt, but the truth is that I’m my biggest critic. Yes, working outside the home means I’m away from my daughter, but I work to give our family a happier life. My career not only provides more financial stability, but it also makes me a more confident and patient mother. Is my daughter loved? Is my daughter safe? If the answer to both of those questions are “yes,” then I have nothing to feel guilty about.

5. Treat Myself. One of my favorite hobbies is photography, but because it is mostly an enjoyable pastime, I am always hesitant to invest the little time and money I have in order to improve myself. That will change in 2023. I’m a mother, not a martyr, so this year, I’m going to allow myself to be selfish and occasionally treat myself to the things I enjoy. I work hard all week to earn a paycheck and keep the household running, so it’s only fair that I get to take back some of that time and money for myself.

6. Practice Saying “No.” Need someone to pick you up at the airport? Sure. Want help on that work project with the tight deadline? Of course. Looking for a class mom to organize a group gift? I’m your woman. I love to help others out, but I’m starting to realize that I just can’t do it all. I can’t continue to work like a childless employee while being as involved as a stay-at-home mom at the same time—there are moments when I will have to sacrifice one part of my life for the other.

7. Make Time for Quality Time. There is not much I can do about the fact that working full-time means less time with my daughter, short of decreasing my work hours. However, what I can control is what I do with her during that time. I’ve noticed that I spend way too much of our “family” time worrying about cleaning the house, cooking the perfect meal or arguing about her outfit choice. One of my biggest goals for 2023 is to improve the quality of the moments I have with my daughter.

Dinners and dusting can wait, but these precious years with my daughter will not.

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