Let’s be real: making friends is hard. In today’s society, we are all pressured to be someone we aren’t. We worry about what others think, especially when growing into our roles as moms.
You should be focused on being your best self and doing the right thing for YOU – especially because, as a mom, you constantly have little eyes and little ears that are watching your every move and listening to every word.
Watch Your “Self-Talk”
It took a long time for me to really think about how I was talking about myself – until I started talking about my flaws in front of my daughter. She too, began repeating the nasty words that were coming out of my mouth. And yep, she started looking in the mirror searching for pimples on her face to pick at, just like me. I didn’t realize how badly my anxiety and my self-worth were affecting my children.
I also didn’t realize what an impact it was having as I tried to find mom friends. We moms tend to believe that what we’re doing isn’t good enough. Where do you think most of that shame comes from? You guessed it… comparison.
The Danger of Comparison
All we want to do is what’s best for our children, but as long as we’re aware and acting intentionally, I think that’s the absolute best we can do.
What’s best for child A may not be good at all for child B, so stop comparing your journey and your child’s to the neighbor’s next door… or even worse, to the Instagram mom who seems like she has it all together and like a million friends. NO ONE has it all together. Seriously. (And if they did, they probably wouldn’t want to be friends with you or me – or anyone else, for that matter!)
My life is pretty messy, and our days never look the same. Some days, I’m a happy mama who’s got the day and week planned out; others, I’m an introverted, emotional mess. Some days, I’m on top of things; other days, I just don’t even want to try. Motherhood is hard, and more so when the only time you aren’t alone is spent with tiny humans that can’t hold a conversation.
The right people and the right friends will come into your life at the right time. Appreciating the life you have now – with or without friends – will give you a sense of gratitude that will show in your daily life and even in your kids. Some appreciation and patience in timing is really all you need.
Take a step back for just a second and ask yourself, “Am I doing my best every day?” As long as we are giving everyday our best self, that’s the absolute best we can do. Our best is the best!
You’ll Find Your Tribe
Being a mom is an amazing, unique experience that we all get to discover on our own. Our very own journey. It’s also extremely scary knowing that no one has ever really walked in your shoes before. Every mama in history has a lifetime of different stories that have made them into the women and mothers they are.
Your tribe is out there waiting for you, but for now, know you are needed, valued, and loved beyond measure, right where you are.
No matter what anyone else says or how they make you feel.
You are enough, mama. 10,000 times enough.
Whether or not you have a best friend. (Whether or not you have any friends!) They’ll come. These lonely early years of parenting are just for a season.
Mommas, have you experienced loneliness as a parent? How did you deal with it, and have you found your tribe? Let me know in the comments.