Every man wants to be a good father and a better husband, but how do you be a good father and husband to your wife and kids is sometimes a mystery! Sure a good dad joke helps, but what else is there to be a good dad? We are sharing actionable steps and secrets to be a good father and husband today!
How to be a good father and husband what every wife wish you knew
I think when raising a family husbands and dads often get so caught up in the fact of thinking that they have to do everything they can to try and take care of their family financially and provide for them. But sometimes when it comes to being a good husband and dad it is much more simple than that. We are sharing the things that make a good dad and husband from the perspective of their wife.
Set Priorities and Evaluate them
Every wife can agree that setting priorites makes for a good father. Every wife wants the family to be at the top of their husband’s priority list. This makes them feel like they are loved and needed.
Sure, we know that things come up and some things will take precedence over us at times, we are not saying that. But we are saying that we would love to know that we are a priority over playing video games until all hours of the night.
Actionable step: Write down your priorities and evaluate them. If they are not what you are hoping they are, make changes to get them to where you want them to be.
Dads, please be positive. To most moms, it is the most draining thing in the world to have negativity all around them. At the end of a long day, the last thing they want to hear is why the laundry is still on the table or that the light was left on upstairs again.
This goes for the kids too. Kids will make mistakes. Correction of children needs to happen, but always reinforce the positive at the end of the day.
Actionable step: Be more positive for one day. See how that affects everyone around you. For every negative thing you say or think you have to say 3 positive things about that person or situation.
Express Gratitude for your wife and kids
Life is a blessing. We never know how long we have with the people we love. If you were to pass away right now or your wife or kids do, what would they remember by the things you say and do? Would they know how you appreciate them and what they mean to you in your life?
Actionable step: Show in meaningful ways how much your family means to you. Tell them and show them. Express gratitude for even the little things that you love about them.
Include your Wife
Your wife wants to be included in decision making. Let her help plan the budget as well as other household decisions. She wants to feel needed and heard when it comes to things in this department.
Actionable step: If you are not already including your wife, ask her what she wants to be included in and sit down and talk about household decisions together.
Really Listen to What Your Wife and Kids Say
The number one way to be a good father and husband is to really listen. When your kids talk to you, look them in the eye and listen to what they are saying. Put away all distractions and focus on what they are saying.
If they are sharing a problem or struggle, don’t try and solve it, listen to them work throughout it as they talk with you. Sometimes they just need to be heard.
The same thing goes for your wife. Sometimes she just wants to be heard. This video, It’s About the Nail” explains it perfectly!
Actionable step: The next time your wife and kids talk to you really listen to what they are saying and what they need from you. 9/10 they will tell you if you listen for it.
Show Love Openly
Show your wife and kids love openly. Kiss your wife, hold her hand, sit by her on the couch. Show love for her openly so that she knows without a doubt how much you love her.
The same goes for your kids. Tell them you love them. Give your kids fist bumps or set up secret handshakes if they don’t want hugs from you.
Actionable step: show each member of your family love openly at least once a day for a week.
Admit your mistakes and shortcomings
Dads and husbands please admit your mistakes. No one is perfect and it goes so much further to admit you made a mistake and that you are sorry. I know it is not in our nature to do this, but doing this is one of the best qualities of good fathers and great husbands.
Actionable Step: When you are wrong. Admit it and apologize. See how much quicker everyone moves on from the altercation.
Think more about the big picture
As dads we get so focused on the here and now that we lose sight of the big picture. Does it matter if your kid eats mac and cheese in the restaurant (yes, I know I don’t know why they charge you $5.00 a bowl for it either)? Does it matter if they forget to turn off the bedroom light or they stay up 5 minutes past bedtime even if you are watching the game together?
Take a few moments and think more about the big picture and the goals of a family and what you want them to remember about growing up.
Actionable step: Next time there is an issue you want to raise with the kids, think about will it matter in a week, a month, a year, in 5 years? If the answer is yes then talk about it. If the answer is no let the kids be kids and enjoy the time and season of life you are in.
Take Family Vacations
Take family vacations. It creates memories. It helps everyone escape everyday stressors. Take vacations. They don’t have to be elaborate or cost a lot of money. Camping is always a low cost vacation if you are looking for one! Do some camping crafts for kids, play fun camping games, and let loose.
Actionable step: Sit down as a family and talk about your next family vacation. Start planning where to go and what to do.
Go on dates with your wife
Husbands take your wife on dates and plan it! Get the babysitter, pick something that she likes to do, and go and spend time as a couple. So often parents get so wrapped up in each other that we forget to nourish our relationship.
Actionable step: Plan a date with your wife for the next week.
There you have it! These simple things you can do to be a good father and husband. What would you add to the list? Share in the comments!