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163 Hilarious Pretzel Jokes And Puns For Kids

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Pretzels are yummy pastries and a favorite of many kids and grown-ups alike. These treats, which originated from Germany, are versatile and come in many forms. Some pretzels are soft and chewy, and some are hard and even have e bit of a crust. Some are salty; some are sweet. Some come in a wide range of flavors, from cinnamon to chocolate to bacon and everything in between!

Indeed, there is a pretzel for every taste and preference, which is why pretzels are quite the famous pastry or snack! It’s so versatile that there is bound to be a pretzel that perfectly suits your cravings.

And if you are craving a good laugh, pretzel jokes are also here to fulfill your LOL needs!

There is no way you’ll be salt-y over the hilarity and wit that pretzel jokes bring. They can be a little knotty, a little twist-y, and they’re just what you knead to lighten up the moon and let the laughter begin.

Check out our collection of hilarious pretzel jokes and puns for kids, and share a laugh or two with your little one as you munch on these delicious, tasty treats!

Pretzel 101: Ten Totally Twisted Tidbits

Pretzels seem to have been around forever because of how much of a staple they’ve become. But actually, we can all thank a frustrated teacher who had some leftover bread dough for creating this treat!

While baking bread back in 610 C.E., an Italian monk was looking for a way to motivate his distracted students during catechism. So he decided to make a treat. He rolled dough into ropes, twisting them to look like hands crossed in prayer. He baked them and then dubbed them “pretiola.” “Pretiola” is Latin and means “little reward.”

From that time on, this twisty treat made its way to Germany. Many Germans then immigrated to Pennsylvania – in the Susquehanna Valley – and became known there as the Pennsylvania Dutch. They brought their pretzels there too!

Pretzels have a twisty history about them. Much of it is up for discussion and debate. One thing is for sure, though: Pretzels are adored worldwide! Get a crash course in Pretzel 101 and know more about your fave baked good with our ten twisted tidbits:

1. Pennsylvania Rules

Pennsylvania Rules

There are over 40 pretzel companies in Pennsylvania. In case you are wondering, this means that about 80 percent of the pretzels in America are actually made in that state!

2. Carbo-Loading

Traditionally, pretzels are made out of wheat flour. Because of that, the average soft pretzel packs about 300 to 500 calories. Yes, pretzels make for some serious carbo-loading. Pretzels are also low in protein, but they do contain B vitamins.

Also Read: 10 Fun Healthy Snacks for Kids that are Easy to Make

3. Mega Pretzel

If you are wondering what the most enormous pretzel in the world is: the current Guinness World Record holder is Pilsener, Industrias La Constancia. Back in October 2015, they baked a humongous pretzel. The pretzel they made weighed 1,728 pounds or 783.81 kilograms. This pretzel measured 29 feet 3 inches or 8.93 meters long and 13 feet 3 inches or 4 meters wide.

4. Tied The Knot

Tied The Knot

Because of the pretzel’s knotty nature, is it any surprise that pretzels were once incorporated into tying the knot?! In the 16th century, pretzels were part of wedding ceremonies, when a bride and groom split one in half, make a wish, then eat their halves. This tradition symbolized their union as a married couple.

5. Full Automation

Back in the day, people made pretzels entirely manually. Pretzels were made by hand, and this was solely how they made pretzels until the invention of the first automated pretzel machine in 1935. This invention allowed bakers to go fully automated and mass produce around 200 to 300 pretzels every minute.

6. Soak And Shine

Have you ever wondered how pretzels get that shiny surface? Pretzels get their trademark shine from soaking! The dough is soaked in sodium hydroxide (lye) for around 30 to 60 seconds before baking. Bagels are prepared in a similar way to this, which also gives them the same shine.

7. Maximum Pretzel Consumption

Maximum Pretzel Consumption

People consume pretzels worldwide — but who eats the most pretzels in the United States? The answer to that would be Philadelphia. It is said that Americans eat around 2 pounds of pretzels annually. Philadelphians, on the other hand, eat around 12 pounds of pretzels each year!

8. The Perfect Pair

Many people say that the perfect snack partners are pretzels and beer. Interesting, right? They make a good pair because the saltiness of the pretzels makes people want to drink more beer, and also, the salt boosts the flavor of some ales and provides a pleasing flavor counterpart to others. This pairing is another reason why pretzels appeal not just to kids but to adults too!

9. Crunchy Accident

Did you know that a theory about pretzels going from soft to hard involves a happy accident? In the 17th century, a baker’s apprentice accidentally fell asleep while baking. What was supposed to be soft pretzels became crunchy and over-baked. Luckily, the master baker loved the crunchy pretzels, and he got to keep his job.

10. Skip The Salt

Skip The Salt

If you like your pretzels without salt, then you prefer what they call “baldies.”

Hilarious Pretzel Jokes And Puns For Kids

Have a knotty, twisty time with these 163 hilarious pretzel jokes and puns for kids! You’ll be rollin’ and twisting’ up with laughter right along with your child!

Jokes About Pretzels

Jokes About Pretzels

If pretzels are an irresistible treat for you, then these pretzel jokes are a brand of hilarity you can knot resist! Laugh it up with these jokes about pretzels and get tangled up in all the fun.

What is a pretzel’s favorite type of joke?

Twisted ones.

How do pretzels greet each other?

Gluten tag.

Why do pretzels love mystery movies?

They have lots of twists in them.

What did the toast say to the psychic?

You bread my mind!

Why aren’t pretzels called pretzels?

Because they’re knot-bread.

Why was the pretzel taken to the hospital?

He was as-salted.

What secret society loves to eat pretzels?

The Illumi-Knotty.

What did the pretzel say when they pulled it out of the oven?

Gluten-tag!

What does bread say to a friend after doing them a favor?

It’s the yeast I could do.

What did the bag of flour say to the loaf of bread? 

I saw you yeas-terday.

Why doesn’t bread like warm weather? 

Things get Toasty!

Why are bread jokes always funny?

Because they never get mold!

Why does everyone need bread and water?

Because loaf makes the world go round.

What does bread do after it’s done baking?

Loaf around.

Why was the baker in a panic?

He was in a loaf or death situation.

How does bread woo a lover?

With lots of flours.

What did the yeast say to the baker’s flour?

I loaf you dough much.

What do you call holy bread?

Jesus Crust!

What do bread kids say during hide-and-seek?

Bready or not, here I crumb!

How does bread win over friends?

You can crust me.

Why did the baker lose his job?

 He kept pinching the salt.

Why does bread look so bad in photographs?

It’s just too grainy.

Why did the baker go back to school?

To learn how to b-read.

Why did bread break up with margarine? 

For a butter lover.

What was the baker’s favorite Beatles song?

All you Knead is Loaf..

Why doesn’t anyone want to work in a bakery? 

It’s a crumby place to work.

What did the butter say to the bread? 

I’m on a roll!

What did they say about the old loaf’s song?

It’s a moldy but a goodie.

What pick-up line does yeast use on flour? 

I bread your pardon!

What’s the worst thing about a bread pun?

It tends to get stale.

How do you get a raise at the bread factory?

Butter up your boss.

How do you make dog bread?

Just use collie flour.

Why did the loaf of bread break up with his girlfriend? 

The relationship was crumbling.

What did one slice of bread say to another after a long day? 

Don’t worry—tomorrow will be butter.

What does a loaf of bread say when breaking up with his girlfriend? 

You deserve butter.

What’s the most sophisticated kind of bread? 

The upper crust.

What did mama bread say to her kids? 

It’s way past your breadtime!

What is a baker’s favorite time of year? 

Yeaster.

Why was the baker arrested?

He was caught bread-handed.

Why did the two slices of bread disappear in the middle of the night?

They wanted to e-loaf together.

Why did the aging loaf retire? 

His career was toast.

What did a slice of bread say after brushing his teeth? 

I’m bread-y for bed.

What’s the best thing about a bread joke? 

It never gets stale.

How do you spot a radical baker? 

They’re always going against the grain.

What happens when two pretzels get married? 

They tie the knot.

What is a pretzel’s favorite dance? 

The Twist.

How did the spaetzle greet the pretzel?

Gluten tag!

What did the chocolate-covered pretzel say to the regular pretzel? 

Don’t be salty.

Where do pretzels go on vacation? 

Pretzilvania.

What do you get when you cross brussels sprouts with a popular snack?

Pretzel Sprouts.

You don’t like my Pretzel jokes?

I am in-salted.

Why did the police suspect the pretzel? 

Because he was twisted.

What happens when you get into a fight with a pretzel? 

You get tangled up.

What did the loaf of bread say to the pretzel?

Did you know that you are knot bread?

More Jokes About Pretzels

More Jokes About Pretzels

Sometimes, all you genuinely knead are some good pretzels jokes to turn your day from salt-y to oh-so-sweet! Pretzel jokes are taking funny to a new twist-y level, and there are some truly silly and knotty lines thrown in for even more laughs.

  • “Kids dumped a whole bag of pretzels on me…I was so salty.”
  • “Two pretzels were walking in a bad neighborhood…One was a-salted.”
  • “A bunch of rioters looted my pretzel shop. Unfortunately, they got all my dough.”
  • “A sandwich walks into a bar and orders some pretzels. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.'”
  • “Most pretzels are dough knots.”
  • “Did you know that pretzels are knot bread?”
  • “Some pretzels are totally weird. They’re knot for eating.”
  • “You don’t like my pretzel jokes? I am in-salted.”
  • “I call my boss a Pretzel because he’s always bent out of shape.”
  • “Detective movies often feature pretzels in them. They have a lot of twists.”
  • “I was making hot pretzels and went to talk to my dad. Timer went off, and I said I had to knead my dough. Dad replies, ‘Your dough kneads you.'”
  • “Joe walked by a bowl of pretzels in a lobby and got confused when the pretzels said, ‘You are very good at reading’ and ‘You look Nice.’ Joe looked confused. The nearby receptionist said, ‘The pretzels are complimentary.'”
  • “Do you guys like dark humor? ‘Cause I got this joke about pretzels… But it’s pretty twisted.”
  • “Pretzels love mystery movies because they have twists.”

Puns About Pretzels

Puns About Pretzels

Are you bread-y for some awesome puns about our fave twisty treat? Seriously, we’re knot kidding — Pretzel puns are a great way to work in some twisty one-liners and captions!

  • “I’m knot kidding!”
  • “How could you knot like pretzel puns?”
  • “Everybody do the twist!”
  • “So many twists and turns.”
  • “Let’s get knotty.”
  • “Such a knotty child.”
  • “I’d rather knot..”
  • “Tying the knot.”
  • “I love all your twists.”
  • “Pure-bread cats.”
  • “Are you bready for it?”
  • “Get bready.”
  • “Pretzel buns crack me up.”
  • “No bun intended.”
  • “Don’t be so salty.”
  • “Stop being so salty!”
  • “Bread Pitt.”
  • “Bread (red) is my favorite color.”
  • “Don’t want none unless you got buns hun…”
  • “Nice buns.”
  • “Take it with a pinch of salt.”
  • “The pretzel was as-salted last night.”
  • “You’re a real snack.”
  • “Lip snack-lingly delicious.”
  • “You deserve butter than this!”
  • “Some things are butter left unsaid.”
  • “You bake me happy!”
  • “Bake love not war.”
  • “Stop baking a fool of yourself.”
  • “Warm and toasty!”
  • “You’re my butter half!”
  • “You butter be quick or you’ll start to melt!”
  • “Here’s to a butter life!”
  • “Life is what you bake it!”
  • “Bake the world a better place!”
  • “You bake me proud!”
  • “Crumb here. “
  • “Crumb at me bro!”
  • “Get your crumby hands off my bread!”
  • “Ferrets are the most a-dough-rable creatures.”
  • “You’re a-dough-rable!”
  • “Doughn’t worry be happy.”
  • “It seems as dough you don’t believe me.”
  • “Dough you think so?”
  • “I dough.”
  • “She absolutely a-doughs cats.”
  • “I a-dough you.”
  • “Taekwon-dough – Pretzel martial arts.”
  • “North, south, yeast, west…”
  • “Last, but not yeast.”
  • “The sun rises in the yeast, and sets in the west.”
  • “No pain, no grain.”
  • “Look at my grains.”

More Puns About Pretzels

More Puns About Pretzels

If you are knots about pretzel puns, do knot fear because we’ve got even more of them for you! Nobody can stay salt-y once you’ve served them these witty puns about pretzels. You are going to loaf them!

  • “Don’t get it twisted.”
  • “I’m not salty.”
  • “You’re the salt to my pretzel.”
  • “I’m knots about you.”
  • “Let the grains begin!”
  • “Hunger Grains.”
  • “Loaf-ter is the best medicine.”
  • “Don’t loaf at me.”
  • “Graindrops keep falling on my head.”
  • “It’s such a grainy day.”
  • “Rainbows only appear after the grain.”
  • “Loaf-ers – Bread shoes!”
  • “Nice to wheat you!”
  • “All you knead are pretzels.”
  • “Pretzels are knot bread.”
  • “I a-dough pretzel-lovers.”
  • “Everybody kneads somebody.”
  • “I knead you.”
  • “She can be knead-y.”
  • “Crust be yourself.”
  • “My puns skills are a little crusty.”
  • “It’s crust a matter of time.”
  • “The crust-omer is always right.”
  • “Christians believe in Jesus Crust.”
  • “They see me rollin’,they hatin’…”
  • “Just crust me.”
  • “You can always crust me.”
  • “Crust me; I’m a professional.”
  • “That is the crust of the problem.”
  • “Good things come to those who wheat.”
  • “A wheaty (witty) remark.”
  • “Wheat it and weep.”
  • “She’s such a s-wheat heart.”
  • “Knot-hing else matters.”
  • “I got a knot-ification.”
  • “Here I crumb.” “I loaf you!”
  • “Live, laugh, loaf.”
  • “Rich toasts are part of the upper crust.”
  • “Joe’s bakery was renovated to give it a more upper crust look!”
  • “That’s wheat she said!”
  • “You have a twisted sense of humor.”
  • “You’re knot what I expected.”

Read More: Silly Jokes To Keep The Kids Laughing

Conclusion

Pretzel jokes and puns will have you all twist-y with laughter. These knotty witticisms about our beloved baked goods are great for snacking on and will leave no one salt-y!

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