Guess what? Nothing beats a good joke, especially on a bad day! These guess what jokes may have you guessing, but they won’t leave you wondering, “where is the punchline?!”
Guess What? These Guess What Jokes Don’t Mess Around!
Are you looking to bond with the kids, or just want to bring a smile to their faces? If so, these guess what jokes for kids have you covered!
Can you guess what I did on Christmas Day?
I called up Santa to ask where he at?!
A boulder, a pebble, and a stone walked into a concert, guess what they did?
They rocked and rolled all night long!
I have a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
Knick-knack paddywhack, guess what that old man gave his dog?
He gave his dog a bone!
Guess what I said to the man wearing a t-shirt?
I said to him, “Sir, I believe your head is sticking out of your t-shirt!”
Guess what monkeys eat in space?
What do you call fake spaghetti? An im-pasta!
How do you accurately guess what you’re having for dinner?
You cook it yourself!
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
My boss just came back from his holidays, guess what country he went to?
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!
Can you guess what brand my first car was?
A Totally Scraparolla!
Guess what kind of hike I went on today?
I hiked up my pants!
Guess what the difference between a hotdog and a corndog is?
One’s stuck up while the other is laid back!
Guess what I have right now?
Can you guess what an armadillo’s preferred way to get around is?
Rocking and rolling!
Some aliens landed on Earth. Can you guess what the reason was?
Because they wanted to be taken to our leader!
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!
Have you noticed how so many business people wear ties? Can you guess what the reason is for this?
Because they’re always tied up – be it at work or in traffic!
Guess what number of pessimists it takes to screw in a lightbulb?
None – they all gave up!
I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
Can you guess what you call someone who never falls down the stairs?
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up!
Can you guess what happened to the man who played board games all his life?
He got bored of playing games!
Can you guess what method of transportation self-driving cars use on their day off?
A human driver!
A young boy managed to get to the moon! Can you guess how he achieved this?
He pressed the “SPACE” bar on his computer keyboard!
Can you guess how the man’s girlfriend replied when he said he said he needed more space?
She asked if he was joining NASA!
Can you guess the reason why the moon is so cold?
She’s always deflecting the sun’s rays!
The panda was always getting locked up when he visited a restaurant. Can you guess what he did to deserve this?
He asked if he could eat shoots and leaves!
Can you guess why the man thought he was rich despite having an empty wallet?
He also valued the things that money couldn’t buy!
I’d tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.
Guess what you call a comedian who’s about to make a joke?
Someone with a pun in the oven!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
Guess what the reason is why some restaurants refuse to serve food to ducks?
Because they don’t understand the meaning of putting something on their bill!
Guess what the man got when he won the Scrabble tournament?
Guess what Santa calls his elves?
Can you guess what horses, donkeys, cows, goats, and sheep have in common?
They’re all very stable animals!
Can you guess what you get when you cross a Pointer and a Setter dog with a Christmas wreath?
Can you guess what the reason was that the doves got arrested?
Because they staged a coo!
Guess what you call a baby reindeer’s first teeth?
Guess why elephants always get the first word?
Because their opinion carries a lot of weight!
Can you guess what the pickle did when he had a bad day?
He knew he was in a pickle, but just dill-ed with it!
Can you guess what burgers and fries say when they want to meet up?
Can you guess why everyone loves eating donuts?
To be honest, I donut know myself!
Can you guess what coffee and motivational coaches have in common?
They encourage people to espresso themselves!
Can you guess why the grumpy man asked his doctor for a course of antibiotics after attending a comedy night?
Because he thought laughter was infectious!
Can you guess who you should never lie to?
An x-ray operator – they can see right through you!
Can you guess why the shipwreck had to go to therapy?
Because he was a nervous wreck!
Can you guess why vending machines always randomly stop working?
I don’t know myself – they just don’t make any cents!
Can you guess why the sea monster was such a successful comedian?
He was always Kraken everyone up!
Guess what crime scene investigators do on their day off?
They throw caution tape to the wind!
Can you guess what happened to the man who was addicted to doing the Hokey-Pokey?
He turned himself around!
I have a joke about a broken pencil, but it’s pointless.
Can you guess why the little soda pop always drifted off in class?
He lives in a Fanta sea world!
Can you guess who all the little cereal kids are afraid of?
The cereal killer!
Can you guess what coat hangers do on the weekends?
They hang out, of course!
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
Can you guess where that famous painter’s ear went?
Not sure, but I saw it get in a Van and Gogh!
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time!
Can you guess what type of fish frequents the best reefs in the ocean?
The sofish-ticated type!
Can you guess what cats and housewives love to consume?
Cat-a-log’s, of course!
Can you guess what the calendar worker got fired for?
He took a day off without telling anyone!
Can you guess what move pigs learn in martial arts class?
The pork chop!
Guess what volcanoes do when they’re in love?
They lava eachother for a long time.
Can you guess what you get when you cross a comedian with a chicken?
You get someone who loves cracking jokes!
Can you guess what bands turbines love to listen to?
Not sure, but I know they are big metal fans!
Guess why the man missed his late mother’s 9 am funeral?
He was not a mourning person!
Can you guess why the violinist got kicked out of the band?
He had a history of violins!
A Lion and a Witch walked into a Wardrobe, can you guess why?
Narnia of your business!
I bought a wooden car, and guess what happened?
It wood-en start!
Can you guess what happened to the frog’s car when he parked it in the swamp?
It got toad!
I know a lot of jokes about retired people, but none of them work.
Can you guess when the length of a restaurant cue isn’t funny?
When there’s no punch-line!
Guess who Dracula brings with him to movie premieres?
I’d tell you a joke about a roof, but it’s over your head.
Why did Spidermans girlfriend leave him?
Because he was clingy and would always stick around when she wanted some time alone!
Can you guess why the bear failed the exam?
Because of his big pause!
Can you guess what you call an alligator wearing a vest?
Can you guess what the chop said to the steak on their first date?
It’s so nice to finally meat you!
Can you guess why I gave that guy a piece of my mind?
Because he wouldn’t give me a pizza of his pizza!
Guess why Alpaca’s make the best mom’s?
Because they always Alpaca a home-made lunch for their kids!
Can you guess why the glassblower went home early?
He got a stomach pane!
What is the difference between a casino and a food stand?
One suffers from a pack of lies and the other from a lack of pies!
Can you guess why learning sign language is such a good idea?
Because it is quite handy!
Can you guess what the man did after he became vegan?
He never made a missed steak again!
Can you guess what you get when you cross a Labrador with a magician’s trick gone wrong?
Can you guess why the German man never laughs at jokes?
He has the wurst sense of humor!
Can you guess what the reason was for the fitness guru breaking up with her boyfriend?
He just didn’t work out!
Did you hear the story about the anti-gravity device?
I heard no one could put it down!
I have a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.
Can you guess why Dubstep DJ’s don’t make good bass players?
They keep dropping the bass!
Can you guess what you get when you cross a jukebox with a fortune cookie?
A 4-tune teller!
Can you guess what you get when you cross an angry mob with a herd of horses?
A bunch of neigh-sayers!
Can you guess what you call a regular potato?
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