Whatʼs the Situation?

So once again I have put myself in harms way to bring you the need to know dirt about...JERSEY SHORE? That is right, I spent my Sunday afternoon turning my brain into a congealed glob of goo watching a Jersey Shore marathon. I am now sitting here typing with one hand as I fist pump the other and work on my Snooki bump. I am all about multi tasking, if I could hold the bottle of Orange Glo with my feet I would be working on my tan.

Of course I had heard of this show, heard the crazy tabloid rumblings. I had just never watch an entire episode. I had tried once a while back when it first aired but could not get past the language barrier. I could not understand a bloody word the shiny orange people were saying. They have a strange language that almost sounds like english but could not possibly be my native tongue.

So here is a little JS ENGLISH 101-

GTL - this is what the Shore kids do every day and keeps them HAWT- Gym, Tanning and doing Laundry. The whole gym (for the guys) and tanning I get, but the laundry Donʼt you have to wash all of those bedazzled shirts by hand?

Grenade - this is the guys term for a girl that may not be as attractive as the others, that the wingman has to entertain. This bar however is not set very high as their idea of attractive is comparable to Carrot Top in drag.

Pound it out - this is their ever so romantic way describe sexual relations. Now this I so want my man to whisper in my ear.

Blow-Out - a bullet proof hat made from ones own human hair. A combo of copious amounts of gel with searing heat from the blowdryer creates the human helmet.

Bleep Bleeping Bleep - this sound is made every second or third word that is spoken. Canʼt quite grasp the meaning but it is used in several types of situations.

There are so many words in this unique language that we could never possibly get to them all. So in order to become fluent in this challenging yet insightful language I am afraid we may have to actually watch the upcoming season 2 Jersey Shore in Miami premiering July 29th on MTV. I will tan and wear my pouf for the occasion.

Ron Ron Juice - The actual signature drink of the Jersey Shore

Stolichnaya vodka
Watermelon juice
Cherries
Cranberry juice
Ice

Combine all ingredients in a blender, and blend until smooth. Serve in red plastic Dixie cups. Go Creep, get into a fight, then come home and Pound it Out.

I just want to make it VERY clear this is NOT a CocktailDeeva recipe and I am in no way responsible for itʼs affects on you. Ya feel me Beaawwtch...

Cheers
Dee
www.cocktaildeeva.com

About the Author Dee Brun is a Cocktail’ista and the Award Winning Author of "Libations of Life, A Girls Guide to Life One Cocktail at a Time." She is also a cocktail stylist, writer, humorist, wife, mother of 4, TV Junkie, shoe-aholic, boarder line George Clooney stalker..hmm what else...Oh ya..tired... She's old enough to remember making “Mixed Tapes” from the radio. Her fave vacation spot is anywhere with a beach bar. When she grows up she wants to be Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City...IT COULD HAPPEN! Life is Short...So be sure to wear FABULOUS Heels... Profile | Her Main Site | Follow Her on Twitter