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Archive for the ‘Me’ Category

Self-Esteem is Everything

Tuesday, June 29th, 2010 by Michelle

Last week I was invited to attend a fantastic event called the G(irls) 20 Summit.  At the summit, the Dove Self-Esteem Fund in Canada unveiled the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem in an effort to encourage and support positive self-esteem within girls and women to they can feel more confident and reach their full personal potential.  I encourage you to join the movement, if you haven’t already.

I’ll be blogging all about my experience and sharing some conversations that came out of “One Girl Can:  A Discussion on Mentorship” that was held in conjunction with the G(irls) 20 Summit. In particular, I will share a video interview I did with Jess Weiner where we talked about self-esteem in mothers and how it affects parenting our children.

But first, I have to tell you that I was incredibly moved by the entire experience that day.

Here’s a story for you.

That day was my birthday.  I down played it, told very few and just made it be like every other day.  Because I did not want to draw attention to (or celebrate) me.

After experiencing that event, I saw that is just plain nuts.

We must celebrate ourselves, every day.

I tweeted out:

selfesteem-rollercoaster1

And almost everyone responded a bounding YES!

Many of us ride that rollercoaster, some swoop higher or lower, but we all ride it.  I ride it.  Regularly.

So I am starting a movement - right here on EverythingMom.

mom-self-esteemI have started a group for moms to come together and share our highs and lows, talk about them, get real about them and manage them.  In our Mom Esteem group we can share tools and explore ideas that will bring us to strong place of modeling positive self-esteem for our children.

I am looking for a Life Coach who specializes in self-esteem to partner with EverythingMom in this pursuit.  This involves:

  • Coaching me (Michelle, the founder of EverythingMom) once a week for 12 weeks
  • I will blog about our coaching and my journey in hopes of sharing my insight with moms everywhere.  Each post will be linked back to our chosen Life Coach’s website.
  • Be available for potential coaching clients from our Mom Esteem Group, perhaps even setting up a group coaching program.

If you are a Life Coach and this sounds like all kinds of fun, then drop me an email to hi [at] everythingmom [dot] com expressing your interest and we can set up a sample session to see if we are a fit.

And moms, come join me in our Mom Esteem group, because really?  I don’t want to do this alone.

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Posted in Inspiration, Me | 7 Comments »

We got a Cava-Tzu!

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010 by Michelle

Cava what?  Cava-Tzu.  A puppy.  That’s right - we got a puppy.  Because you know, our family does not have enough going on already!

cava-tzuBut I have logic mixed in with my crazy emotions that sucked me into this adorable little heaven-sent being.  She’s small.  Very small.  4 pounds small.  Of course she’ll grow a bit, but still be small enough to go with us wherever we go and fit into our life just perfectly.

We have been planning to get a puppy for a long time, but the timing was never right.  But now that I have a bit more balance in my life, I am able to dedicate time, love and training to this little angel.

Pictures are so hard to show how small she is.  She is 5 months old.  A Cava-Tzu is a cross between the  Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and a Shih Tzu.

Kids LOVE her.  We LOVE her.  She is such a snuggle muffin, sleeps and plays well.  Even our cat has only hissed the odd time at her.

On to Everything Puppy!

Posted in Me | 9 Comments »

The Myth of Balancing Everything

Monday, January 18th, 2010 by Michelle

Balance is not Everything.  I’ve tried all the tricks in attempt to create it in hopes that it will fix everything.  Parts of me still tries to convince myself that balance is the answer, that balance is all I need.

But I don’t.  I need joy.  That’s what I discovered.  24 days in Mexico will do that to a girl.

istock_000003565458xsmall

When I stopped trying to reach for that thing called balance, and started focusing on what would bring more joy to my life, balance just somehow started to happen.

Rewind to Pre-Mexico:

Everything was pretty messy.  I was in the throws of business negotiations, my marriage was struggling, my kids had piles of to-dos for both school and activities and I would not let anyone near my house for reasons I am sure you can imagine.  (I probably would not even recognize my friends if they rang my bell anyhow…)

We’re all busy, I get that.  But I was unhappily-busy.  I had created all sorts of avoidance techniques to fool me and everyone else that I had it all together.  But in reality, I was falling apart.  And who was I fooling, really?

My joy was lost somewhere between my to-list and my what-the-hell-am-I-doing-with-my-life list.  I didn’t know what I was working towards anymore.  I doubted everything.  My abilities, my dreams, my relationships - what did everything mean anymore?  Is this what I wanted to model for my kids?

Mexico is a very lovely place to have a breakdown.

For so long I avoided that pain, that doubt, that insecurity.  But when I finally gave myself permission to feel shitty, to wail at the ocean, to unload - that is when things started to feel better.  That is when I saw a glimmer of clarity.  That is when I was able to make decisions to shift from finding balance to finding joy.

It does not matter how many hours a week we work, how many piles of laundry we have or how many projects we have on the go.

What matters is that we are happy.  Not grin-and-bear-it happy, but that I’m-good-with-where-I’m-at happy.  That, our to-do list - no matter how long it is - includes those things that bring us joy.  I have forgotten to put these things on my list for a very long time.  Heck, I didn’t even know what those items were.

Sure, there are going to be tasks that we don’t particularly enjoy.  But if we are doing enough things that DO bring us joy - then it does not feel so overwhelming, so heavy.

So, I’ve been making changes everywhere.

One change that I am most excited about is we’ve got ourselves a new Managing Editor here at EverythingMom.com.  I’m sure you all know her very well and love her as much as I do.

Carrie Anne Badov has been a wonderful inspiration to me (and many others) since the dawn of Everything.  I am so thrilled to welcome her to our team.  Carrie Anne will now manage the process of EverythingMom as Managing Editor.  Please welcome Carrie Anne to the team!

Having Carrie Anne take on this role frees me up to be creative.  To build and develop the heart of EverythingMom — compelling content & tools to inspire, empower and support our community.

Having Carrie Anne frees me up to do things for me.  For my children, for my relationships.  For life.

I am looking forward to my to-do list in 2010.  Because it starts with joy.

Thanks for being part of Everything - I love you all.

xoxo
Michelle

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Posted in Inspiration, Me, Site News | 13 Comments »

Learn to Run: 5K in 30 Minutes

Friday, November 27th, 2009 by Michelle

istock_000008536608xsmallWell, that’s my goal.  There.  I said it out loud.  I want to learn to run 5k in 30 minutes.  Soon.  I am almost there!

I am looking for others who want to learn to run just as bad as I do.  It doesn’t matter to me whether you have already started training, of if you are still sitting on the couch thinking about it.  If you want to learn to run, I’d love for you to join me in my goal:  5k in 30 minutes.  Maybe for you, it is 5k in 20 mins or 3k in 30 mins - or heck - maybe you just want to go for a walk!  Timing / distance is very individual.  My goal just happens to be 5k in 30 minutes.  On the treadmill.  Learning to run we can all do together no matter what the numbers say; on the treadmill, track or trail.

I have been practicing since September.  Slowly working myself up.  My best time was 4.1K in 25 mins.  But I had to stop before I thought I was going to fall off / puke / pass out.  My typical run right now is 3k in 20 mins. Then I just start walking.  I have yet to keep running for that full-30-mins.

Here is what has helped me learn to run so far:

  1. Get some good tunes.
    I’ll write a post soon sharing my play list.  If you have a good one, please leave a link to it in the comments.
  2. Get naked.
    Well, almost.  Leave your pants at home.  Run in shorts.  The last thing you want to do is get more overheated than you already are.  For shirts - as little material as possible.  Tanks like these are great and Joe Fresh has ones just like it for super cheap.  Although they probably don’t breathe as well, they work just fine for me.  I cannot bring myself to run in the sports bras that I see at the gym.  But that’s just me.  At home on my treadmill, no problem.  But me/public/bras don’t go over so well.  If that’s your thing - good on ya.  The less the better, ’cause there’s a lot of sweat.
  3. Breathe.
    Obvious, yes, but do it on purpose.  When you think you can’t breathe anymore, start counting.  Slowly.  In - out.  In-2-3, Out-2-3.
  4. Don’t think.
    For me, I breathe way better when I stop my thoughts.  Or let them go.  If I simply concentrate on my breathing, watch the numbers, mentally sing my songs, I do much better.  It’s my version of meditating.  As soon as I get in to my to-do list, I’m off my beat, my breathing gets shorter, I get dizzy and I wonder WTH I am doing with this running thing in the first place.
  5. Believe in yourself.
    Stop with the I-Can’t stuff.  If you are able bodied then —   Yes.  You.  Can.  Shut off the negativity, turn on just a tiny bit of belief and try.  Just try, bit by bit.
  6. Break it down.
    Find what works for you.  Do you like to go minute by minute, song by song, km by km?  I go lap by lap.  I silently high five myself each lap that goes by.  I coach myself to say that OF COURSE I can make it one more lap.  C’mon, just one more lap, you can do it!  And then another, and then another, breathe, another and so on…
  7. Do it for yourself.
    If you are at the gym trying to run faster, further that the dude next to you, get off and go home.  This is about you, this is FOR you.  You are not running for the dude next to you.  You are running to give yourself and your family a healthy, happy YOU.  Forget about what or how anyone else is doing and concentrate on doing your best.
  8. Do it for your children.
    Modeling health for my children is important to me.  Exercising and feeding our bodies help us to be healthy and happy.  Practice what you preach.  (I need to get better in this in other areas, but that is another post…)
  9. Time it.
    Do NOT go running when you just ate, had a beer or have to go #2 but for the life of you can’t.  Just sayin’…

So those are my tips, what has worked for me, how I am learning to run.  I’d love to hear your tips.  How did / are you going to try to learn to run?  Will you join me?

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Posted in Me, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

More is Less

Tuesday, September 1st, 2009 by Michelle

mommy-new-year

Happy Mommy New Year!  September, for me and many moms I know, seems to be a time of year for planning and reflection.   For me, I get back to the gym, organize our family, sort out my office, plan the year for my business - I love September.

Every year, I look at how I can improve my game.   What’s working, what’s not?  Looking over the past year, I discovered that MORE is LESS.  The more I did, the less I gave.

Last year, well, it was a lot .  I took on too much.  I said yes, I jumped in.   I found myself spinning my wheels through my various commitments.  And it was hard.  Financially, emotionally and physically.

This year, LESS is MORE.  I am going to focus on doing less and giving more. In Everything.  Myself, my family, my relationships, my community, and my business.

More relevance, less fluff.

More conversations, less chat.

More clarity, less confusion.

More commitment, less distraction.

More you, less me.

How about you?  Is September a time of reflection for you?

Image by: Kelly Mallory

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Posted in Inspiration, Me | No Comments »

I was not there.

Wednesday, August 12th, 2009 by Michelle

Today, I was not there.  I was not there when my almost 5yo daugher almost got hit by a car.

Seriously.  I was-not-there.

Where was I?  Doing things.  Things moms do.  Things that need to be done.  Things that if moms don’t do, don’t get done.  These particular things - dishes.

Me to 7 yo:  “Where’s your sister?”

7yo:  “She went to across the street” (the very busy street)

Me:  “Who took her?”  (we have a rule that has been hammered into her brain at least 10,0o0 times - NO CROSSING THE ROAD WITHOUT THE OLDER KIDS FROM ACROSS THE STREET)

7yo:  “Nobody”

So - when all is said and done, she is back safely from across the street…

A.  She lied to me and told me someone took her across

B.  Apparently a car stopped “just in time” - that from my 7yo and my almost 5yo.  Story confirmed.

Me = Guilt and tears.  I-was-not-there.  She was almost hit by a car and I-was-not-there.

Now, we have a rule.  No crossing the street without AN ADULT.  Period.  Backyard play only, unless you are with AN ADULT. She is only (almost) 5, after all.  I don’t care if the older kids are - well,  older.  Tough.  Adults, that was she needs, adults.  Am I being too paranoid now?  Am I being too fricken-freaked out now?

Gut aches, heart wrenches.  My baby girl is ok, all is well.  I cannot imagine the alternative.

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Posted in Me, My Kids | 10 Comments »

Back to School Ideas

Wednesday, August 5th, 2009 by Michelle

back-to-school-ideas

Ok, I am getting anxious.  We decided to re-do our flooring upstairs.  This means everything from up is down - and its everywhere.  And its freaking-me-out.

I am one of those gals who needs to feel organized and in control - or the anxiety sets in and its just no fun for anyone.

Back to school is coming (SOON) and, for me, that is a stressful time of year.  All the forms, requirements, routines - eek!  I need some back to school ideas to keep me sane.  I’ll start and then it’s your turn to add some back to school ideas - you game?

Michelle’s Back to School Ideas

  1. Get some lunch ideas together now.
    For me this is the most stressful thing about Back to School - WTH am I going to make for lunch.  (I will do a Friday Faves on School lunches soon…)
  2. Create a drop station that works.
    My problem is that I let things get too cluttered.  Everything is everywhere.  I am going to create a space where things get dropped and then organized in one spot. OrgJunkie calls this the command centre and she has stacks of great ideas >>
  3. Do the shopping now.
    I leave everything until the last minute every year and then everything is sold out. —>  More stress.  I am almost done.
  4. Get rid of everything.
    Well, most everything.  Really.  What a great opportunity to de-clutter when everything is in shambles anyhow?  Stuff —> Stress.
  5. Register for programs now.
    I need to get on this.  First, the kids need to decide WHAT they want to take.  Programs here fill up so quickly, best to avoid waiting.

Ok - what are your Back to School ideas to try to minimize the stress?  (Or am I the only one who finds this time of year stressful?)

Photo by: Pikaluk

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Posted in Everything Else, Me | No Comments »

Mirena Crash: The Mirena IUD Side Effects After Removal

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009 by Michelle

mirena-crash

Well - THAT I was not expecting.  Off on my holiday - sun, sand and fun and WAMO.

Silly me, I had the Mirena IUD removed a couple of weeks prior to leaving for our vacation.  I have had a rough ride with Mirena from the get go and was nothing but thrilled to move on from my 5 year old friend, Mirena. (Yes, I kept it for the entire 5 years.)

It came out of nowhere.  I went to bed feeling relaxed and happy to be on holidays, woke up with a crushing, heavy, almost suffocating feeling of blah.  Not just any blah, but I need to go home now because I cannot stand this feeling anymore blah.

That was day one.

After a 12 hour journey home, I hid from pretty much everything for 4 days.  I had no idea where this anxiety, this weight, this hell was coming from.  Then it hit me.

Mirena, you got me.

Sure enough, I searched her out on Google and it happens.  They even have a name for it:  The Mirena Crash.

Apparently, after having the Mirena IUD removed, some women experience “The Mirena Crash”.  Some women.   This woman.

I won’t lie.  It sucked.  But 4 days later, back to normal.  Thank you very much.

Would love to hear from you if you experienced “The Mirean Crash”.  How long did it last, what helped?  For me, just letting it be, giving myself some space and waiting it out was what I needed.

Photo Credit: GrootAttie

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Posted in Me | 536 Comments »

Letting go of Now

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009 by Michelle

I am such a now gal.  And not in the “live in the moment” now gal — I wish.  I am a I-need-this-right-NOW-gal.

It happens all the time.  I want my kids to do something now.  I want that email reply to come now.  I want my developers to have things finished now.  I want my debt to go away now.  I want my house completely organized now.  You get it… I am like a little whiny child who wants everything right now.  And sometimes, yes I do feel like stomping my feet.

Lovely.  Very becoming.  What a great example I am setting for my children.  Ack.

Sure - this crazy behaviour has got me ahead at times, but at what cost?  It feels like crap to me and those around me.

So, I am letting go of now and setting realistic expectations for the timing of everything.  Wish me luck!

Are you a now gal?  What works for you to let go and relax?

Photo Credit: Vaguely Artistic

Posted in Me, Rants | 2 Comments »

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