Heading Back to Work: Balance

Back to Work is a short series dedicated to the good the bad and everything in between for a mom returning to work following a year on maternity leave. If you missed them, you can still read the earlier segments: Already Time and First Day.

Part 3: Balance?

back-to-work-balance After having my first child, my response to people asking “So what does having a kid change?” was almost always a shrug followed by “…not that much actually”. Three years later, with a chatty toddler and a busy one-year old, my tune is starting to change. There are days when I wonder how and when my peaceful, organized life disappeared, leaving behind a noisy and chaotic race against time – with me trying to maintain at least the appearance of sanity and order.

There – the secret is out – I try very hard to look like I have it all together, but I am just like almost every other mom out there. I struggle to find balance and to meet all the different demands on my time – being efficient on the job, managing my home properly, spending important quality time with my husband and kids, fostering friendships, and taking care of me (mind, body and soul)!

It is not always easy to find the energy or the will to put in an extra load of laundry at the end of a busy day; or to put together healthy (& tasty) meals night after night. How about spending quality time with my husband that does not simply consist of crashing next to one another on the couch and watching television until we are too tired to stay up anymore; or to being creative in the types of activities that I do with girls; teaching, laughing, learning as we go…? Let us not even talk about taking care of me. Most of the time, I am pretty happy if my legs are shaved and I do not smell bad (!)

I have yet to master the concept of BALANCE in my life, but I believe in it, on so many levels and in all areas of my life. Balance is important and finding ways to achieve it (or at least get closer to achieving it…) should be a priority for everyone – especially Moms and particularly “working Moms”.

I have a pretty good idea of where to start. Here are 6 *simple* tips for Moms who are racing after the clock (like me!) and having trouble finding the much coveted “Balance” in their lives:

Menu planning: Not only does it take the guess work out of “What’s for dinner?” but by planning your meals in advance, you avoid multiple trips to the grocery store! Looking for inspiration? Check out Simple Bites 9 Tips to Successful Meal Planning.[Editor's note: Checkout EverythingMom's Meal Plans to make dinners simpler]
A nightly before bed to-do list: I am not talking about washing your face and brushing your teeth (though those are important… especially when you share your bed with someone you’re hoping to get frisky with!). I’m talking about an evening to-do list that makes your morning routine easier.
Regular date nights: I’m serious. It’s too easy to get caught up in the busyness of life and parenthood and to forget that first and foremost you chose to share your lives with one another – for better or for worse.
Regular play dates: I love play dates because they give me the opportunity to connect with other Moms and spend quality time with my girls. Skeptical? Don’t be. Whether I’m hosting or attending, it’s a short period of time where I am not distracted by the pile of laundry or the stack of bills. I’m focused on the people I’m with – young and old.
Regular “me” time: Do you take care of yourself? Do you have a hobby or an interest? When is the last time you curled up with a good book or did something for you? By investing some extra time in “Mom”, you are ultimately better equipped to take care of the kids (and everything else!)
Say NO: It’s not a science but this is often one of the most difficult things to do. We need to recognize that everyone has limits and it’s important that we acknowledge those limits and prioritize how we spend our time. Choose to say no sometimes so that when something really great comes up, you’re not too busy or committed to be able to say “yes”.

It is not a coincidence that 5 of the 6 tips above are related to better planning. Let us face it; we are busier than we have ever been. We have more demands on our time, more distractions to take away from those demands and almost all of us want more out of life than many of our predecessors ever dared to imagine. It might be a freeing idea to “fly by the seat of your pants” and live life as it happens… but have you not heard? Better planning can actually give you more time to be free?

I am not preaching here. I would be lying if I said I had it all together. My menu planning is sporadic. Some nights I am lucky if my teeth are brushed before I go to bed. I wish we had regular date nights and I am still learning to say no. But this list gives me something to work towards; a life of semi-order, where I know what to expect and am more prepared to manage surprises when they come up. And a life where I am making time for things and people that are important to me. A life of balance? Maybe!

Stay tuned for the next and final part of Heading Back to Work – “Choosing What Works for You”.

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About the Author

I'm a 20 something mom living in a suburb of Montreal. I’m married to my high school sweet-heart, I have 2 beautiful daughters, and I’m still trying to figure out who I am. I work part-time (outside the home) as a communications professional and have been recognized for my efficiency, good judgment, ability to see the big picture and my awesome organizational skills. At home, I am a mom, wife, chef, cleaning lady, arts&crafts director, dog walker, and blogger. I’m known as Andrea, Mamma, Mommyo, Mom… and I still have so much to learn before I feel like I’m specialized, efficient or well organized around the house! ,

Posted by Andrea Matte in money on May 26, 2010

Heading Back to Work: Balance

Heading Back to Work: Balance

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