Girls and Self-Esteem: Advice to My 13 Year Old Self

When I was invited to share advice to my 13 year old self for the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem, I froze. I had no-idea-what-to-say-to-her.

I grew up with very shaky self-confidence. I am hearing impaired, so that certainly played a part however it can’t blamed entirely for my insecurities. There are lots of players in the game of insecurity and low self-esteem. And we all have them. However, the differences lie in how we all play the game. What we do with our tools determines how we win or loose the game of self-esteem.

BFF Self Esteem Recently, I was camping with my childhood BFF (yes, we have been best friends since grade 4!) and she was one of those kids. You know, the ones who are are fully grounded in who they are, follow their own inner knowing, don’t care what others think? She was - IS - un-stoppable. Many were threatened by her in school and people she meets now are a bit intimidated. Not because she’s rude, or snobby, or looks down on anyone, in fact, the exact opposite. She is FULL to the brim of confidence, kindness, compassion and FUN.

Yes, she makes mistakes, and yes she has bad days. Yes, she's "normal". She cries, feels bad about her parenting choices, struggles to find time for herself and beats herself up here and there. But overall - she embodies what each of us long for. A full cup. She knows how to fill it for herself, she does not rely on others to make her feel good, or justify her actions. She has herself. That’s all she needs. Sure, she loves us, her friends, her family and everyone loves a pat on the back. But she finds inner courage and strength and knowing from herself first.

And she has been my rock since I was 8 years old.

I watched her, I learned from her but most importatly, I grew when she cheered me on, when she supported me, when she was there for me. 29 years later, we are still there, for each other, through thick and thin. Always.

So - camping. I asked her: “What would YOU say to my 13 year old self?” Here’s what she had to say:

Pick a peer group that lets you be yourself and encourages you to flourish
Hang around your cheerleaders
Have an exit strategy for awkward or uncomfortable situations
Group mentality is usually wrong
Have the courage to walk away because other kids will most likely know it is wrong to be there too, and they will follow
Have a BFF, Be a BFF
Find a mentor
Do what you love as much as you can

I joined the Dove Movement for Self-Esteem to help give me the tools I need to help myself and the girls and women in my life discover how to fill our own cups to the brim with self-confidence. Will you?

I have also decided I need to take a journey. A very scary and inspirational journey back to myself. To find that inner source of supply. Read more about and join our Mom Esteem Program here >>

I am invited you to leave a comment answering: What advice would YOU give to your 13 year-old self?

EverythingMom.com is proud to partner with Dove to create a community where girls and women are given the tools to build positive self-esteem in order to reach their full potential.

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Posted by Michelle in mom self esteem on July 14, 2010

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Comments

0 # littlemissmocha 2010-07-14 16:34

Wow. I have goosebumps after reading this. I joined the Dove movement too, how could I not? So worthwhile.

I would tell my 13 year old self:

Be brave, be joyful, be strong. Your whole life is waiting for you, and it starts after high school. Seek out what makes you feel good, what makes you laugh and makes you feel fulfilled. That's where your amazing life will start. PS: You and everyone around you are beautiful, you just don't know it yet.

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