Summer for the Divorced Mom

This year has been hectic and now it's summer. You are looking forward the fun that you'll be having with the kids, except that half the time they will be gone with Dad. As a divorced mom you're feeling a ton of things now. There is the fear; you don't know if they are going to be okay or if they will be happy. Will they adjust? Will you? Will they miss you? What happens if they don't... Let's assume that Dad is a good parent. If you don't, nothing can be said that will change that. You're going to have a month of holding your cell phone near your heart, wishing for a call hearing that they are okay; dreading the call that says they're not. In either situation, you can use a lot of the same tactics to get through the summer and even enjoy it as a divorced mom.

Make Plans

Whether you have additional family at home, or old friends to catch up with, now is not the time to sit home and ponder. Make time for other people you love. Remind yourself that they too are vital to your life. Don't forget to do some things that you really want to do that you can't with the little ones around. How about a little romance? Go shopping for a wardrobe. Take a cruise or class. Whatever it is, make it something that you want to do. You may be happy about the respite. It's okay to put up your feet and read a good book or watch a bunch of your favorite movies. As long as it's something that gets your mind away from what's missing and onto what's available, it's a great plan. Taking time for you will help you feel refreshed and help prepare you for when those little ones get home.

Take Action

After your head is in the right direction, take some time to catch up on the things you haven't been able to accomplish with the babies around. Do you need to upgrade you education for work? Do it now. Forget to get the taxes together? Your accountant is probably looking for something to do and will be happy to help. Get that spring cleaning done. You'll never find a better time to clean out the kid's closets and toy boxes. Focus on off season clothing and toys that are on the bottom of the box. As long as you don't take the stuff they use regularly or are particularly meaningful the kids probably won't even know and will just notice how nice their space is and how great it is to be home.

The Homecoming

Your kiddos are going to come back and the first day can be the best time of the entire summer. However, after the novelty of reunion wears thin, re-adjustment can be tough. They have to start remembering your rules and you have to figure out what happened to your quiet time. Remember to immediately take time as a family to go over expectations as well as your plans for the rest of their break. Leave a little room in the schedule so your children are able to do some of the things that they look forward to like visiting friends or going swimming. Since you've had a nice respite, you'll be able to make it happen and life will soon be normal again.

About the Author Managing Partner and Editor-in-Chief at one of the best social networking and lifestyle sites for moms, EverythingMom.com. Trying to balance life at home with my 3 kids (all under 8), while building my business, working at EverythingMom.com and developing my writing. Oh and throw a load of laundry in and a dinner that isn't burnt. Wasn't working from home suppose to be easier? Posted by Carrie Anne in marriage on July 05, 2010 More from this author  |  Author Website Follow Carrie Anne on:  |  |  |

Comments  

 

+3 # littlemissmocha 2010-07-06 08:55

This is a really helpful article. Such an important topic and one that I don't think is discussed enough. I can only imagine the ups and downs that would come with this situation...this article has some great advice and suggestions. Nicely done.

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+1 # MK 2010-07-07 15:43

Thank you

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+1 # KimB 2010-07-14 04:35

Thanks so much for the ideas. My child will be going with his dad for an entire week, I have never been away from him for that long and I am really not looking forward to it. After reading your article, I realized that I can do it and I have plenty to keep me busy.
Thanks again!

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0 # MK 2010-07-14 14:08

TY and have a great summer.

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