i disagree kids will learn this from school and they are not stupid.kids from the start what parents do in bed i do not know what the big deal one i hear my mother having sex with my step father and i was only 13 years old she was screaming and crying i knew what they were doing of course i did not ask i left it alone i was old enough to understand what adults do is something natural that we humans do.theirs no shame if kids seem that kind of thing just explain to them that mommy and daddy need alone time they will understand. 
Mom Releationship Articles
Caught Having Sex: When Your Kids Catch You Having Sex
- Details
- Category: intimacy
- Published on Friday, 01 April 2011 08:35
- Written by Trina
- Hits: 1524
On the long list of things that help parents be asexual, getting caught having sex is certainly a concern for many. But should parents give up their sexuality just because they feel it will have negative implications on their children? 
Absolutely not.
“It is absurd to try to provide our children with a perfect environment. Ironically, while we zealously ‘protect’ our children from seeing their parents as sexual beings, we relinquish our only opportunity to teach them our family’s values about sexuality. We miss the opportunity to teach our children that love and physical intimacy go together, and this important message is too often exactly opposite what they see in the media.” writes Valerie Davis Raskin, M.D. and author of Great Sex for Moms.
Does that mean you should have sex in front of your children? Of course not. Dr. Raskin believes that discretion and a regard for appropriate sexual boundaries important to avoid being caught having sex.
It Starts with PDA (Public Displays of Affection)
First become cool with how much affection you show each other. Then figure out your comfort level as a couple.
For example, growing up, my friend’s mom allowed her husband to openly touch her breasts in front of the children. That simply would not happen in my home. Where I was fascinated, my friend found it commonplace.
Things You Need to Discuss
Next you and your partner need to work on creating sexual intimacy in the face of being heard or caught having sex by your child.
- Discuss any unspoken expectations you may have around not being sexual because of the children.
- Talk about any guilt associated with presenting yourself as a happy, healthy sexual couple to your child.
- Discuss what your sexual privacy and sexual boundaries will be and, more importantly, how you will stick to them when wanting to cave overrides good sense.
- Finally discuss what you will do in the worst-case scenario: your child walks in on you making love.
Then go immediately to the hardware store and buy a set of good locks for your bedroom door—your mantra to and from the store should be ‘boundaries, boundaries’. If you are worried about being caught having sex because you are a little too noisy, buy something to create white-noise, like a loud humidifier, fan, radio or stereo that can be moved close to the door.
How to Chat With Your Child
A younger child is unlikely to understand what is happening and may simply be frightened by the sounds of lovemaking. Address your child’s fear. Matter-of-factly reassure them that no one was hurt and this way of touching is something grown-ups do.
A primary school-aged child may simply be curious. Say only what is necessary to move to the next subject without shaming or inadvertently stirring up even more interest. Say, “I can see you are inquisitive. Sometimes adults do things kids don’t understand.” Then switch the topic.
An older child may know exactly what is happening and may be disgusted or embarrassed. If an older child bursts in and you are caught having sex, do not lie or get defensive about what is going on. Instead get dressed and talk about what just happened, acknowledging that this as awkward for everyone. Then, set your boundaries with the child to ensure your privacy.
However you work this out, make sure the fear of getting caught having sex is not stopping you from keeping you connected to your partner.
Comments (1)
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2012-04-10 20:50:30 | Anonymous - to be honest
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