Sex and Other Things You Don’t Do Anymore

Ever woke up one day and realized that there’s a billion little things you don’t do anymore because you are a parent. Somehow, someway, things get pushed, put off, prioritized differently as you grow through parenthood.

Do You Remember...

• Sex? That act you did which actually made you a parent? Hands up if you never do that anymore. Why is that? Too tired? Too loud? You just don’t have the 3 minutes you used to have?
• Going to the bathroom – alone? Can you remember your last solo bathroom trip? Can you?!
• Going out in the world? Let me be more specific – remember going out in the world without a diaper bag, snacks, toys, change of clothes, stroller, car seat and all the other stuff you have to take just to go for a milk run. Remember when all you needed was keys and a wallet. The lighter days.
• Staying up late? Staying up late because you were at a rockin’ party, concert, dinner, club…not staying up late to breast feed, clean up vomit, make school lunch, put one more load of laundry in the washer. Staying up late used to be a choice rather than an obligation.
• Dressing to kill? I’m talking the high-heel-hot-lady shoes, the sexy top, the promoting-the-assets jeans. Why is it that once we become Moms…we dress like Moms? Comfy, washable, yoga inspired clothing. (I must note: some Moms still dress to kill in both business wear and yoga wear…you have to…well… not be me…to pull that off).
• Having a conversation without interruption? Even if you are sitting down with other grown-ups après-parenthood you are constantly being interrupted by kids (“where is my...”, “help me…”, “he’s…” “Mom, I’m in the baaaatthhhrooommm”). Moms can multi-task and communicate on different levels better than anyone “And I googled which medications I could take…take your hands off your brother…and I found this site…ok, he can have it 5 more minutes and then we’ll switch ok…did you hear that? 5 more minutes with the truck then it’s your brother’s turn…and I could take the medicine…whoever’s in the bathroom please wash your hands when you’re done?...” Moms can switch conversations seamlessly – and the crazy thing is – other Moms can follow.

Taking – no – making – the time to do the things you don’t do anymore will help you be a better, happier, Mom.

• If you are too tired for sex at night – wake up 10 minutes earlier – or meet for lunch. It will connect you and your partner.
• Teach the kids about “bathroom privacy” (remember, when kids go to school they have to know how to close the bathroom stall – this is a teachable moment). If your kids have difficulty with bathroom separation – ask them to sit outside the door.
• If you want to stay up late by choice – do it. Rent a movie, have a glass of wine, tweet into the night. Enjoying late-night-fun-time doesn’t have to be a going out on the town experience.
• Dress for yourself. Dress up. Dress down. Just never dress frumpy.
• Have uninterrupted conversations on YOUR time. E-mail is a great communication tool which doesn’t get broken up. Phone calls during nap time allows for dedicated talk time. Tweeting from the playground allows for 140 characters of communication.

Just because you don’t do something anymore doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Or that you can’t do it. Or that you don’t want to do it. Get creative. Get inspired. Just do it.

About the Author Writer/Mother/sock finder/Blogger/laundress/Community Editor/mitten matcher/Researcher/nose wiper/buzz creator/Moderator/whatever... Posted by Caroline in intimacy on May 15, 2010 More from this author  |  Author Website