5 Things that Let Him Know You Appreciate Him

You're a mom so your day is packed solid from the minute you wake until you fall back in bed. You love your husband and you do it all for his kids so he must know that you appreciate him, right? Think about it; even if you weren't connected, you would still take care of those little ones. So how can you let him know that he is still important to you? Try these small tricks and while some may seem a little old fashioned, they'll have more impact than you could imagine.

1. Make Him King at Dinner

5-ways-appreciate-him Making nuggets every night might lead to empty dinosaur plates, but what does it tell your husband? Try to cook what he likes. You can't spend hours in the kitchen so try making quick things that appeal to your husband's palate, like steak. If the budget is tight remember that there are several sauces in the pasta isle that can add variety on a budget. Children need to learn to try new foods and they will eat if they're hungry, so put the emphasis on providing a meal that will satisfy your partner.

Since he is now the king of his table, you will need to serve him first. It makes a statement. Arrange the children's plates and let cool while serving your husband.

2. Great Conversations are Important Even When Dating Is No Longer a Priority

You know what he's thinking, but that doesn't mean he could care less if you to listen to what he has to say. Whether he's repeating the same point for the 100^th time or telling you something new, pay attention. Have eye contact when possible. Show him that his thoughts are still of great interest and importance to you. On the flip-side, have something to say which has nothing to do with the kids. What did you talk about when you were dating? Some of those old points of interest may still be great conversation starters. He didn't expect you to become two-dimensional when you married. Let him know that you still have depth.

3. Carve Out His Space

Give him a kids free zone. Even in small places you can find a spot just for him. Whether it's a game room or the corner of your bedroom; the kids stay out.

4. Carve Out His Time

Take it a step further and make some time just for him. I know, this is the biggest part of the problem. However, there are several things you can do to make this happen. Allow the children to stay an extra hour at day care a couple times a month or join a babysitting co-op where you know that your kids are in good hands at no cost to you. Stay up late or get up early so that it's just time for you and him. (Make up sleep when the little ones nap.)

5. Put Out

I know you're exhausted so if you haven't made time for sex, it may feel like it's just another way to zap your energy. In reality, sex is a healing and bonding experience that will refresh you and help keep your family together. Don't worry about it being mind-blowing; just start being there when he wants it. If you're tired, let him know that you want to but you're running on low; he'll be happy to make it quick. The more often you do it, the better it will be. He'll love having such an sensual wife and you'll be glad that you let him know that he is still your number one.

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About the Author

Managing Partner and Editor-in-Chief at one of the best social networking and lifestyle sites for moms, EverythingMom.com. Trying to balance life at home with my 3 kids (all under 8), while building my business, working at EverythingMom.com and developing my writing. Oh and throw a load of laundry in and a dinner that isn't burnt. Wasn't working from home suppose to be easier?

Posted by Carrie Anne in intimacy on June 13, 2010

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Comments

-1 # Zoeyjane 2010-06-17 05:33

ooooh, that first point IS controversial, in light of the recent hubub written about on She Posts: http://sheposts.com/content/controversy-over-womens-role-boils-over

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+3 # MK 2010-06-23 04:14

Hi Zoeyjane, Regarding cooking, the perspective of this article is that most mom's cook and serve meals some or most of the time. It's a suggestion on how to make this come across as a loving act towards one's husband rather than one that seems like an afterthought. It isn't suggesting that if you aren't responsible for the meals that you should add that task to your already busy day. Many guys feel alienated because his wife becomes their mom and he becomes the after-thought rather than her focus. Little gestures can go a long way in assuring a reasonable fellow that he's still a top priority and a happy home is worth the effort. I appreciate your comments and being part of the debate

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0 # Michelle 2010-06-17 09:01

Wowza.

Well, I am certainly one for making others (especially spouses) feel all special, it HAS to be a two-way street.

I think the main point is that EACH person needs to make the other person feel groovy. And groovy feelings are derived differently for everyone.

Figure out what your needs are. Tell your spouse. And vice versa.

Not that I have marriage figured out - at all. :)

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0 # littlemissmocha 2010-06-17 09:52

Hmm...

I think there are some great tips here for anyone looking to make sure that they are making time for their partners. These are some good ways to show your partner you appreciate them, and consider them a priority. And I think I would have really loved it if the angle had been "5 Things that show you appreciate one other".

As it stands? Sorry, in my opinion, it seems like it's from another era. There is a huge amount of work to be done to raise and support a family, and in my experience everyone needs to do their share (whatever that looks like), and should be appreciated for it. ; )

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+3 # MK 2010-06-22 21:11

We all want to be appreciated and its important that we are, however, the whole point of this article is about what your input can be and how you can make a difference. Sometimes, we're able to get so much more from our partners by not insisting that they meet us half way. Most decent husbands will come around and become more considerate if they feel appreciated. It'll mean alot more too, because it will be from his heart, not your conjoling. If you're giving and giving and getting nothing in return (my first marriage is a great example of this)then you need to consider marital counseling whether he chooses to join you or not. In the meantime just try to give with no expectations. I hope your results are as wonderful as mine have been with my present husband. Good luck and have some fun with it.

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0 # littlemissmocha 2010-06-23 04:30

Well, agree or disagree, I appreciate your extra comments! Thanks for writing more. And you definitely make some good points about how sometimes we should give without it being about what we get back, in that moment. I can see how that could sometimes take the pressure off, and with your added notes that of course it should be returned at some point, it makes more sense.

And I'm happy to hear that this is working for you and creating a life that makes you happy. Enjoy it.

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0 # Kelsi615 2010-08-15 02:40

I do all of those for my fiance, but IM always the one that wants to have sex. he hardly ever does. He says its due to being sressed out & stuff, but I feel like I've become less attractive to him. I told him that, and he says Im crazy for thinking that. He calls me beautiful all the time, but when it comes to sex, its almost nonexistent. Every few days, he'll want sex and he'll initiate it, but thats about it. I cant help but think he's losing his physical attraction to me

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0 # MK 2010-08-29 17:32

I assume you have a child but am unsure if this is a new thing. The reason why I bring this up is that after children,sex slows down for awhile. Life gets in the way. Every few days isn't necessarily a sign of a lack of attraction. I've read that the average couple has sex less than 1X a week and have seen surveys where singles have more sex & surveys where married people have more sex. However, if you aren't on the same page with how much you want, it could become a problem. My 1st husband and I were like you and your fiance except that every few days would have been way more than I ever had with him. His inability/unwillingness to put out was a sign of other problems and I wish I took it more seriously. My present husband and I find sex to be vital. While we slowed down after marriage and the baby, its still frequent and I don't worry about what's going on with him. Perhaps you should talk with a therapist & sort out what's going on before you take the next step. Good luck.

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0 # AR 2011-12-09 07:46

that is the dumbest addvice, sex is between two peopl, when it happenends it happend, no woman should let him make it quick just to mak him hppy. its between tw people not one. itsa special mommnt to share between the both of you.

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