Can Women Have It All? Some Say, No Way.

Many of us were brought up to believe that we can “have it all” – that a woman can have a family AND a thriving career, and that the fact that we are women should never hold us back professionally.

These days, many moms – and some experts – are not so sure this is true. In a recent Forbes article, Dale Winston said that while a woman can climb up the corporate ladder, usually the home and the kids are still her responsibility. She, and not her male counterparts, needs to make compromises – whether working flexible hours, hiring a full time nanny or “sequencing” – taking time off after each kid is born.

Male executives are simply not faced with these tough decisions. They get to have a family and go on with their professional lives as usual, as if nothing has changed.

Then there’s the guilt. The intense guilt which all mothers who work outside the home – but few fathers – are familiar with. Of course, stay at home moms experience guilt too – they often feel guilty about not earning money and about “throwing their education away.”

Sounds like a lose-lose situation for women, doesn’t it?

The only real solution to women’s work-life balance issues is a major shift in cultural norms and expectations, so that mothers are not viewed anymore as being solely responsible for the house and for raising the kids – even if they are employed fulltime.

If our culture will eventually come to see both parents as equally responsible for raising the kids, I would venture a wild guess that we would then see a huge improvement in daycare services and in flextime arrangements in the workplace.

Until then, I have to agree with Dale Winston. “Life is about balance and compromise. No one can ever ‘have it all’.”

About the Author Posted by Vered in extended family on March 10, 2010 More from this author  |