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Posts Tagged ‘Government’

What Gives?! Obviously Not “THE MAN”!

Wednesday, June 17th, 2009

I am back from Ottawa.. had a great weekend! Being in the Nation’s Cap was definitely fun. We had lots of fun, took loads of pictures and had way too many laughs (and wine). It reminded me that I have an intriguing love hate relationship with the powers that be in Ottawa. Normally I have very few complaints with the way this country/province is run however lately I’ve encountered three life affecting situations where the government is supposed to “HELP” me yet they have either let me down or made it painfully, excruciatingly difficult to get where I want to be.

Sitch #1 -The Government doesn’t want to fund uneducated individuals!

So my Hubby is a graphic designer who is on EI (he has no business education). I am a business educated woman who does graphic design and web (but has no formal education) who is not on EI. So together we decided that I would be the one to apply for a government funded grant to help get a sports graphics business off the ground. We went through the rigamarol of applying and providing portfolios, documents, spreadsheets etc. to the people in charge only to be told that I was rejected from the funded program because I had no formal graphics education - WHAT?! Seriously? Yes, also, it seemed to the Governing Ministry that I would become my Hubby’s “EMPLOYEE” if we were to proceed with this project and they do not fund employee applications - To which I say - Really, I do love my Hubby, but him - manage Me?! You’ve obvously never met him or me!

Sitch #2 - We’re heading back to college - but only if the application processor is having a good day!

So after that feeble attempt both our employment advisors (two different people) suggested that both Hubby and I apply to this new prog - 2nd Career - Government funded college training - Maybe now I’ll finally get that elusive (oh so required) marketing diploma (apparently my 9 years experience still isn’t enough) and hopefully Hubby will get out of the sh*t graphics industry. So we go through the rigamarol of the college applications and the ludicrousness of the government application is like this..

a) Apply to college - IF you’re accepted put a deposit down to secure you’re college seat. (Like I have $2000 sitting in my back pocket!)

b) Research your chosen field and jump threw fire-spewing hoops to prove that it’s a good industry. It may not be in a certain “occupation matrix” so beware of that…

c) Line up daycare with a person that the government approves of (again - pray that the processor is having a good day) and convince the provider to give you all of her life details - right down to the size of underwear she’s sporting

d) Submit your daily expenses but play with the numbers enough so that you aren’t asking for too much, but don’t make it look like you have nothing because then the gov’t will make you get a job to come up with the difference (while you’re busting it in school)

e) Somehow you need to come up with a whopping 10% of your entire application amount - which in my hubby’s and my case could tally close to $20,000 - HELLO?! DID I MENTION WE’VE BOTH BEEN UNEMPLOYED SINCE FEBRUARY OF 2008?!

f) PRAY like the dickens that the person who gets your application on said day isn’t PMS’ng or fighting with their spouse or didn’t miss their coffee or whatever could make them hate you that day..

And then WAIT… WAIT.. WAIT.. until the college revokes your application and then you have to fight with them to re-instate your application and beg them to hold a seat for you in case the processor agrees to progress your life forward - but WAIT - there’s still a catch..

THE GOVERNING MINSTRY MAY STILL REJECT YOU!! Then what?!

Well you better move fast because if you miss one day - you could very well be on the hook for your program’s tuition - all while the processor gets to go home to a full fridge and a cold one!

Really!? Oh yeah!

Sitch #3: My kid (and yours) is going to go from all day at home - to all day at school - And I haven’t even been asked my opinion!

So curently in the parking lot gossip circle is the rumour that all Kindies may go from an alternating (or in some parts, half day) schedule to a full time, every day schedule.. even for the Junior Kindies (some who are three? oh yeah, and have never been anywhere without their mom to care for them..) Say WHAT!?

I think I missed the mail that day my opinion was requested.. or did I? Could it be that the Government really forgot to ask Moms and Dad’s their opinion on this issue? It seems so..

In business, the first rule of thumb is market research.. somewhere along the lines “The Man” forgot that market research is a crucial step - While it is obvious that Canada is being run as a business - It certainly costs me a lot to live here - the customer service, client relations and product development sucks!

Mister Man - Here’s a small tip - if you had’ve inquired (even on a small scale basis) you would’ve found out pivotal info regarding your services and upcoming decisions…

1: Working alongside your spouse does not automatically make you their employee and given your assumption of such an idea, you will be viewed as offensive and sexist.

2: Unemployed individuals will NOT have a spare $20k to go back to school and that is precisely why they are turning to you in the first place. The average unemployed individual will have paid their mortgage and filled their fridge.

3: A lot of parents are really not at ease with your proposed Kindie schedule change and maybe a focus group would’ve told you that in the first place…

What are your thoughts on how this “Biz” we can Canada is being run.. any niggling issues you would like to get off your chest? Voice them here..

Wishing you a productive day..

A


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