DrTrina's Blog

Do Aphrodisiacs Really Work?

DrTrina — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 14:56:46 +0000

Can certain foods truly stimulate sexual desire, or is it all in our heads?

For example, anything shaped like a penis–like asparagus–was thought to be sexually stimulating to both sexes (why are we not surprised?). Remember not to giggle the next time you delicately bite the head off of an asparagus spear.

Research shows that there is no truth to foods creating desire. Yet when it comes to food we should never underestimate the power of sensual suggestion.

Honey
Dubbed ‘The Nectar of Aphrodite’, this all-natural sweetener is at the root of the expression honeymoon.

Chili Peppers
The chili heat releases endorphins, the primary pleasure enzyme.

Ginger
Served pickled, candied or in the raw, ginger increases sensitivity in the erogenous zones.

Chocolate
The aphrodisiac properties of chocolate are many. Nibble on a dark piece for its serotonin boost.

Vanilla
It’s a scent is found to be equally arousing to both men and women.

Even if aphrodisiacs are mostly a placebo, they’re still fun to make, eat and enjoy with your partner. Yum.

Touching Means a Happier You

DrTrina — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 14:58:15 +0000

How do you know a newbie couple? They’re wrapped around each other like pretzels.

And it’s one of the reasons newbie sex is fantastic; as the abundance of couple touch means they’re already jacked-up and good to go when it comes to bedroom time.

Touching is one of the easiest ways to create intimacy outside of the bedroom.

Unfortunately, the busier a woman gets the more likely she is to delegate touching to bedroom time. BIG mistake.
Touching heals, soothes , and helps us feel connected during the good and not-so-good times in our relationship.

It’s easy, F-R-E-E, and makes us feel good. So why in heaven’s name do we stop?

Affectionate touch every day is a simplest way for women to stay connected to her body; as well as it keeps an intimate bond between the couple. That way when sex is initiated, touch is no longer a sensory overload for her.

Make it your goal to affectionately touch your partner every day and see where it leads. I’ll bet my mortgage you’ll be much happier as a person and as a couple. It’s just that simple.

Foreplay for Men

DrTrina — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 16:00:08 +0000

Be an active recreational partner.

While dating, you probably hung on his every word while he talked about those things that interested him. It was part of your charm and why he found you so darn attractive.

Bringing that when you first met magic back to life can be as simple as taking an interest in him. (It’s sad that we lost interest in the first place, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Men love it when you take an enthusiastic interest in his leisure activities—-whether that be sports, politics, cars, or whatever he is into.

So, take the initiative and plan something he loves to do.

Simple things like going to a sporting event together, camping, or just sitting and enjoying a television program he likes.

It’s not what you do together rather that you’re doing it especially for him that will make him feel special.

Get Your Sexual Groove Back

DrTrina — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 15:40:38 +0000

A lack of sexual desire–the thoughts you have around sex–is the number one reason couples in North America stop having sex.

What that means for you is: if you have negative thoughts towards sex before, during and after the sexual encounter, it will profoundly dampen your desire to have sex.

I call it the ‘Oh crap’ phenomenon—“Oh crap, do I have to have sex tonight”, or “Oh crap, you want sex now! Can’t you see I’m exhausted?”

To get back your sexual desire, you need to start having positive thoughts towards sex. Think about something that is an indulgence—a bath, a professional massage, reading a book uninterrupted for an hour. You look forward to these times because it is a nurturing space and all about you.

When going into the sexual experience you should feel that it’s all about you That your needs, wants and desires do matter and will be attended to.

There are many ways to overcome a low sexual desire and I’ve listed the top five below. However, if you are experiencing marital difficulty in other areas—over finance, children, inequitable distribution of household chores—you must work through these first. Women tend to hold on to and not forget these hurts, making it that much more difficult to have any sexual desire.

That said, pick one of five, think about it and move into action.

Sex is so Much More Than Having an Orgasm
The irony of women’s emancipation is men and women were told that once a woman got her orgasm, she would be sexually satisfied. Surprise!

Healthy women can and do consistently have an orgasm but still have no sexual desire. Regrettably, couples looking for answers to their sexual woes focus on having a bigger, better orgasm—via sex positions, sex toys, g-spot orgasm, etc.

Having an orgasm is a very small part of what sex is. Therefore, you need to refocus your attention to the sensual side of sex.

Your Needs Are Equal
There’s a shift when couples move into long term relationship where too many women stop asking for what she wants.

Sex becomes less satisfying because she does not discuss that her sexual needs have changed and are not being met. Add to this, women resent that in order for the sex to be ‘successful’, he must always have his grand finale orgasm. This leaves too many women feeling like her needs always come second to his.

You are half of the sex team. Your needs are as important as his. To enjoy sex again, you can no longer take a back seat.

Know What You Want
If you’re not happy with the way sex is in your relationship, then you have to know what you want out of the sexual experience.

Generally, many women want to be nurtured—that’s why every sex expert under the sun professes, foreplay, foreplay, foreplay. Unfortunately, too many women skip foreplay because they just want to get the sex over with.

Not having the kind of sex you want creates a chicken and egg situation of: you’re never aroused enough during sex because your sexual needs aren’t being met; and you don’t look forward to sex (a.k.a. sexual desire) because you are never aroused enough during the sexual experience.

Get Back In Touch With Your Body
Women live inside there head and disconnect themselves from their necks down.

Multitasking is great everywhere BUT the bedroom. A woman must allow herself to bask in her amazing senses—taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing. Not only that, be okay with unabashedly taking sensual pleasure from the sexual experience.

Your body is an absolute wonderland that invites you to enjoy sex. It’s time you get on board.

Do More Than Just ‘Starfish’
Too many women are still passive participants in the bedroom.

They wait for their partner to initiate. They let their partner figure out what to do during the sexual encounter…and then gripe when it’s not what she wanted.

It is imperative you be proactive in the sexual experience. To initiate then follow through with what you want. This will give you much needed sexual self-confidence which will then enable you build a bigger, better sex life.

Last Word on Your Sexual Desire
Getting your sexual desire back doesn’t have to be difficult or time consuming. It does, however, mean you sit down and take an honest assessment of why you don’t desire sex. Once you figure it out, moving into a sex life that you look forward to is quite easy.

The five love languages by Dr. Gary Chapman

DrTrina — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 15:09:05 +0000

How a person expresses their love is unique…and sometimes confusing to the receiving partner.

For example, you may feel a person shows their love by the quality of gift they give to you, while your partner expresses their love by doing nice things for you–ultimately this leads to you feeling gypped and your partner feels unappreciated.

Go through this list to see which language of love you prefer. Find out more at GaryChapman.org.

Which one best describes you?

Words of Affirmation
You feel loved when your partner expresses appreciation for the small things you do.

Quality Time
Periods where you have your partner’s complete attention.

Receiving Gifts
Some people appreciate the thought that goes into a personal gift.

Acts of Service
When someone goes out of their way to make things more pleasant or smooth for you.

Physical Touch
This encompasses all kinds of touch, from hugs to kisses to cuddling.

There are over 30 more fun and informative sex tips on TrinaRead.com and here are just a few…
Does your relationship need a little sexy pick me up?
Afternoon delight anyone?
Create a sexy photo book
How much sex is normal?
Cheap and cheesy date night
How to bring sex back into your relationship

Dr. Trina Read is a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator. Sign up for your free monthly newsletter filled with expert videos, articles, blogs and podcasts at Best Sex Tips Ever.com. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook

Sexy shopping to set a spark

DrTrina — Sat, 03 Dec 2011 14:44:21 +0000

Take each other shopping for sexy apparel.

Indulge in a lace teddy or silk boxer shorts. If you’re the adventurous type, try edible candy underwear.

When you get home, model your new lingerie; or have a fashion show of sexy wear that you already own.

Want to raise the stakes? For a sexy, clingy look, spray yourself with water before going ‘on stage’.

Or undress your partner and then dress him/ her in the lingerie outfit of your choice.

A touch can mean a thousand words

DrTrina — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 13:45:31 +0000

Show each other, rather than tell each other, how much you care.

Small, affectionate gestures done every day can help create intimacy outside and inside the bedroom.

Why is this so important to a happy sex life? Intimacy being the glue that holds a couple together through thick and thin and will keep your sex life on the radar.

Things you can do:
- Tell her how beautiful she is
- Kiss each other before you leave the house, and then (yes you guessed it) kiss each other when you return
- Turn off the TV and give her your full attention
- Call her during the day just to tell her you’re thinking about her

Over time you’ll see how these small gestures will add up to an incredible amount of couple happiness.

Here’s more fun and informative sex tips guarenteed to titillate:
Top Five Tips to Talk Sex
Does your relationship need a little sexy pick me up?
Keep sexually connected during big change.
Afternoon delight anyone?
How do I Love thee…let me count the ways
Zap Stress with Soothing One-on-One Time
Create a sexy photo book
How much sex is normal?
French woman are the sexiest on earth because…
Why does kissing help me feel less stressed?
Ten second kiss
Cheap and cheesy date night
How to bring sex back into your relationship
The Kama Sutra
Aphrodisiacs
Rev things up OUTSIDE the bedroom
What men love women to do
No fail romantic gestures for her

Dr. Trina Read is a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator. She is a best selling author, media expert, syndicated blogger, international speaker, magazine columnist, and spokeswoman. Sign up for your free monthly newsletter filled with expert videos, articles, blogs and podcasts at Best Sex Tips Ever.com. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook

What is porn?

DrTrina — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 15:30:04 +0000

In the USA today, you can be charged with a federal crime for showing obscene materials.

The Supreme Court ruled in 1973 that material can be deemed obscene if it meets three criteria: the ‘average’ person that it, “appeals to the prurient interest”; the work depicts or describes sexual conduct in a “patently offensive way”; the work lacks “serious literary, artistic, political, or scientific value”.

The problem becomes that these standards are local, not national, so one community’s daily entertainment can be another’s smut.

Which means you can be in one state legally have a nude photo on your computer then email it to another state where it is deemed illegal.

Can you say confusing boys and girls?

Top five tips to talking sex

DrTrina — Sat, 12 Nov 2011 14:23:49 +0000

Top five tips for helping you talk sex with your partner.

Good sex starts with good communication. The better your communication, the better your sex will be. Here are five simple ideas to get the communication started with your mate.

(1) Figure out what good sex looks like for you. You need to understand what you want before you can tell your partner your sexual needs.

(2) Take the conversation to a neutral environment. No chatting inside the bedroom.

(3) Be clear on what your communication hot buttons are. Take a time out to cool down and then come back to the conversation.

(4) Separate the facts from how you feel around the facts. Sex brings out a lot of emotions in us. Make sure to get your facts straight.

(5) Write down what’s working in your sex. Then, while having your conversation, focus on what is working instead of what isn’t.

Here’s more fun and informative sex tips guarenteed to titillate:
Does your relationship need a little sexy pick me up?
Keep sexually connected during big change.
Afternoon delight anyone?
How do I Love thee…let me count the ways
Zap Stress with Soothing One-on-One Time
Create a sexy photo book
How much sex is normal?
French woman are the sexiest on earth because…
Why does kissing help me feel less stressed?
Ten second kiss
Cheap and cheesy date night
How to bring sex back into your relationship
The Kama Sutra
Aphrodisiacs
Rev things up OUTSIDE the bedroom
What men love women to do
No fail romantic gestures for her

Become a sexy sleuth

DrTrina — Sat, 05 Nov 2011 14:34:49 +0000

Does your relationship need a little sexy pick me up? Try sexy sleuthing.

Devise a series of clues to lead your mate throughout your home.

With each clue, write a different letter(s) of the alphabet on the back of each clue, which, when put together spell the special thing you two will be doing once the sleuthing is over.

At the end of the trail, hide an article of your partner’s intimate apparel with a note instructing that it’s to be put on immediately.

Wait in a darkened bedroom with chilled wine.

Then let the fun begin!

Here’s more fun and informative sex tips guarenteed to titillate:
Keep sexually connected during big change.
Afternoon delight anyone?
How do I Love thee…let me count the ways
Zap Stress with Soothing One-on-One Time
Create a sexy photo book
How much sex is normal?
French woman are the sexiest on earth because…
Why does kissing help me feel less stressed?
Ten second kiss
Cheap and cheesy date night
How to bring sex back into your relationship
The Kama Sutra
Aphrodisiacs
Rev things up OUTSIDE the bedroom
What men love women to do
No fail romantic gestures for her
Dr. Trina Read is a leading relationship and sexual health expert and educator. She is a best selling author, media expert, syndicated blogger, international speaker, magazine columnist, and spokeswoman. Sign up for your free monthly newsletter filled with expert videos, articles, blogs and podcasts at Best Sex Tips Ever.com. Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.