August » 2010 » DrTrina's Blog

Question: It seems I’m always too tired to have sex. What can I do?

Dr. Trina’s Response: There’s a reason sleep is considered the new sex: exhaustion is very real and a big concern for couples. Generally though, being tired shouldn’t equate to a person’s motivation to have sex.

Unfortunately, “I’m too tired” can easily become a bad habit—saying it before you really think about whether you are or not.

Or it can be a cover up for other things that have gone wrong in the bedroom: lack of communication, build up of resentment, boring sex, the list goes on and on. Sometimes it’s easier for a couple to sidestep huge arguments by saying they are tired rather than opening that Pandora’s Box.

If you are genuinely tired, the two of you need to create more realistic expectations around what you can do to keep sex on the radar given your lifestyle and schedule.

Scheduling sex is the easiest way for a couple to keep their sex life on the radar. Research proves couples who schedule sex have more sex that is mutually satisfying.

Keep in mind, the feel good hormones that are released during sex might just be what you need for a pick-me-up…or to get to sleep faster which is also nice.

Great Sex Tip
Focus on maintaining intimacy outside the bedroom as it will fill in the lack of having sex often enough gaps.

Question: How do I tell my guy that his bad breath ruins my mood?

Dr. Trina’s Response: Sadly, I believe a big reason couples lose their desire to kiss passionately is a lack of attention to their (bad) breath. Yet, bad breath is one of those “darned if you say something and darned if you don’t” predicaments.

Sometimes subtle tactics work; hints like, offering a stick of gum, sprig of parsley or whatever breath freshener is available. However, most people pick up on this, will probably get defensive and walk away in a huff—breaking the (already broken) mood.

You need to ask yourself: is your guy’s bad breath a once in a while thing, or is it chronic? If it is the latter, a trip to the dentist may be in order. Otherwise it means having a gentle chat that acceptable breath isn’t only for his work environment.

Remember, it’s a big motivation for him to know fresh breath equals you feeling more romantic.

Then show him this trick: When he wants to get romantic, simply lick the inside of his wrist and sniff. If he does not like what he smells, he immediately needs to do something to alleviate the situation.

Great Sex Tip
Make sure to keep something like a pack of Listerine PocketPaks at your bedside table when things start heating up. You will both have minty fresh breath and things will stay heated up.

Question: Can I have sex during my menstrual period?

Dr. Trina’s Response
There isn’t any physiological reason why a couple shouldn’t have sex during a woman’s period. All aspects of her sexual response are the same. In fact, couples can use a vibrator or have oral sex, if they choose.

What usually stops many a couple from having sex during her period is the ‘ick’ factor. Yet some women find the experience quite erotic as she already has the ‘full’ feeling in her pelvic area.

The best way to navigate the “should we have sex during your period” situation is let the woman be the guide as to what is going to happen over that three to seven days.

A word of caution: although it is very rare, there is a slim chance a gal can get pregnant during her period. As well, be cautious and protect yourself from blood-borne pathogens such as HIV and Hepatitis. Condoms and dental dams are always the best way to protect you and your partner.

Great Sex Tip
If you feel a bit uncomfortable about the potential mess but at the same time are horny, a good idea is to have sex in the shower. Otherwise, an old towel laid out will do the trick nicely.

Question: Is it true that scent can get me in the mood for sex?

Dr. Trina’s Answer: Scent certainly can help. Scent is the only sense out of the five that can bypass the rational brain and go straight to the limbic system, which is also in charge of your memory and emotions.

That means you have a cache of ‘scent memory’ which has the power to trigger and pull you through a past event, eliciting the same guttural emotional response. It’s these scent memories that can have a beneficial effect on your arousal.

Here are some things we know are scientifically true about scent:
• No two people smell the same odor the same way.
• A person never experiences one smell the same way twice.
• Your ability to detect odors changes daily and depends on your physiological condition.
• You have the ability to distinguish 10,000 individual scents,

Scientists have been studying scent and found the winner for men was a combination of lavender and pumpkin pie, producing a 40 percent increase in arousal. Women preferred baby powder and a combination of Good and Plenty licorice candy with cucumber.

Great sex tip
Why scent works to increase your libido is a little fact and a little hocus-pocus. If it gets you jacked up and good to go, that’s all that really matters.