That is what my son asked me today as I broke down while he was trying to climb on me.
“Just stop!” I said, not loud but just with the right tone he took a breath, then I cried. I wasn’t crying because I was worried he was scared, I was crying because I was so frustrated that I am still nauseaus and exhausted and after two days of feeling great I thought I was in the clear.
How do I explain that to a 3 year old?
” I will give you hugs” and he strangles me which makes me more frustrated but warms my heart as well.
” I am so sorry bug” I say tears still streaming ” Mama just doesn’t feel good, I need Daddy to come home, I need to lay down.”
It’s 5:40 more than an hour still ahead before my husband will walk through the door. It feels like I will break again before he does, I ignore the clock.
“Come build a city with me mommy.”
” We can watch Max and Ruby” <— yes I suggested a show I really really hate hoping he’d want to watch and I would be able to lay down next to him.
“No let’s play.”
I cry some more. I can’t help it . I am so sick of feeling sick and I am exhausted. I need back up.
He starts getting close to tears. “What can I do?” he says on the verge.
My eyes dry, I get down on the floor and we build cities.
“Pass me that block bug”
I feel like crap but seeing him cry tells me he needs me more than I need to let it all out.
Oh, Allie! I am so sorry that you’re feeling so awful. I sympathize, I really do. I threw up every day for three months straight with my now 2.5 year old and that experience is part of the reason I can’t even imagine trying to do it again, even though I’d love to have another baby. You’re incredible.
This may be one of those things that many people have already suggested to you, but I hadn’t heard of it until 3 months into my pregnancy, so I thought it might be worth mentioning. Take one regular Unisom + one vitamin B6 at night before you go to bed. It worked WONDERS for me–stopped the nausea completely…and I really wish someone (i.e. my former doctor) would have mentioned it sooner. My doctor told me about it and it is perfectly safe for baby.
{{hugs}}
Hang in there. It’s awful, I know. Can’t imagine what you’re going through trying to take care of a little one too. You’re my hero.