It’s no secret I am no fan of being pregnant but I hope for those who don’t know me know just how much I adore being a mom. No one coercered me into my present state of nasuea, headaches and dwindling bladder control. It’s all my fault.
I do wish that media would play up the crappy parts of pregnancy and child birth through a little more, frankly misery loves company and I am looking for some company! It’s not that I want to rain on the parade of those woman who sail through pregnancy with no dry heaving while they dribble pee on their bathroom floor , or those that “don’t even look pregnant” until they are 8 months along , I just want to make it okay for those of us that feel and look like crap for 9 months to get some free reign to whine since we can’t drown our sorrows in real wine.
So if you are currently browsing cool online baby stores imagining you with a radiant glow and a little belly, while you should be working - let me bring you back down to reality.
Here are some of the fun things from my two very different but both pretty unpleasant pregnancies- you’ll thank me later.
With my son I bled from implantation until 8 weeks, then again at 16 and 22 weeks. It was terrifying. as it turned out it was just a sneaky yeast infection ( which many women are prone to in pregnancy ). Because it was tricky and simply staying around my cervix I never had the tell tale signs. 2 emergency room docs missed it, one resident actually looked at the nurse and said ” That’s the cervix right?” Dude I am a teacher and I could find my f’ing cervix. Luckilly my regular doc figured it out and even better my insurance covered the trips to the ER.
With this little bean I am so naseasous I had to ask my mom to come and help. That speaks volumes. I love my mom but loathe house guests, I need my space, I need my house and I even asked her to stay longer half way through. Even with meds I was simply un able to function. I feel like I had the worst hangover and there was no frat party to “enjoy” the night before, or one before that… it’s just not letting up.
I am blessed my husband has no sense of smell. See the hormones that are raging through my body right now are wreaking havoc on my digestion. It’s all but stopped and well you can imagine. It’s not pretty.
Many women complain about how often they have to pee, personally I am all for it. I get little slices of alone time 3 times an hour now. It’s awesome. Of course with my first pregnancy it was just annoying , now with a 3 year old I it’s like a mini trip to the spa.*
* Provided he stays playing and doesn’t decide that I need company , or worse a drum routine on the door while I pee.
Oh these are only the first few weeks worth of realities… sore backs, being stuck on the floor , leg cramps that wake you from a dead sleep, acne, Braxton Hicks, heartburn… well I’ll cover that on another day. Then after that it’s the coma of the first few weeks .
Here is the thing though- so many of us go through this, the majority of us don’t have those easy pregnancies, most of us have battle scars whether physical or emotional but the human race keeps procreating…
I was looking at my son yesterday while he ate mac and cheese out of the pot ( it was cool leftovers ) and I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I love him. I can’t write in words the lengths I would go to for this child, but I also know that when all the gas, all the incontinence, all the vomiting is done I won’t have to section my heart for him and my new child, instead it will simply double in size.
So all this crap wouldn’t be worth going through for much but for my capacity to love to be doubled - I’ll suck it up.
