the men we love » and another thought

I sit here in the living room with my youngest, watching her peaceful sleep on the couch, fighting her fever. If it was my son laying here sick, it wouldn’t be so peaceful.

We all know (at least I hope) that men and women are different, some differences more obvious then others. But based on my experiences with the two men in my house (my husband and my son), I think I have discovered another difference; a gene giving men the inability to deal with aches, pains and overall discomfort.

You know what I’m talking about, though you may be reluctant to admit it. It’s typically visible during cold season. Along with the runny nose and cough comes the whimpers and exaggerated sighs. These once very active people now need someone else to assist them with simple tasks of tossing tissues and fetching drinks and adjusting the rabbit ears for better reception. It’s amazing how one simple cold can bring the vail of death on a person. Both my husband and son are unlucky carriers of this gene (it seems to pass down through the male side of the family).

Don’t get me wrong, if aliens were to land on earth tomorrow to enslave us all, my husband would be one of the first to join the fight to keep his family safe. When my first daughter made her premature arrival, my husband jumped in without hesitation or fear (at least not visible fear). I couldn’t have handled the whole ordeal without his amazing strength of spirit, character and heart.

But infect him with a cold bug and you would think his internal organs had just imploded. Oh the suffering! Add to this the maturity of a four year old and you can understand why I’m hypervigilant about keeping my son well.

But somehow when women get sick, they seem to contain or control their suffering (though I know I usually need to be medicated to do this). Perhaps it’s not by coincidence that this gene seems to be passed down through the men in the family. Stereotypically it has fallen to women to take care of the families everyday needs. They are also given the monumentous and painful task of bearing children (I would need an epidural just to deal with the pain of watching my husband try to handle childbirth). At the moment there isn’t a fix for this gene, but by working to keep the cold bugs away I can hopefully cut down on the number of times my guys get sick (which will make everyone happy).

And yes, I know there are exceptions to every rule and if you are or know a man who doesn’t have this gene, congratulations (but don’t brag about it to the rest of us).