planning a party » and another thought

I’ve had one of those moments, those bad mommy moments. You know the ones where you look back on what happened and shake your head in disgust.

My seven-year old will be turning eight in April. I know, that’s a few months away, but we thought we’d be taking a trip to celebrate her birthday that’s why we were talking about it now. It turns out she doesn’t want to go away but instead wants to host a party at home. Remember last year, when I hosted her birthday, my very first at home party? It was a great success even though it was a lot of work; I was exhausted at the end of the two hours. But if I could do it last year, I could do it again this year, right?

So after dinner my daughter and I sat down to talk about what she wanted to do. See, my daughter gets these great big ideas in her head which is fine but I’m the one that has to fulfill them so I wanted to set expectations early. She wants to throw another Webkinz themed birthday party like last year, but with different things. The only thing different from last year is she wants to control the party.

I know what you’re thinking: So what, it’s her birthday. It should be what she wants it to be. You’re right, but the parent in me, the one who has to gathers all the elements and buys all the supplies and makes all the decorations and deals with the upset child when it doesn’t turn out the way she wants, that parent stepped in and started taking control. Needless to say, my daughter took this as taking over HER party. We exchanged words, not pleasant ones, and she went to bed.

As I was getting the other two in bed I replayed the events in my head. I totally was taking over her party. I had set high expectations at the last party, the one I had more control over, and was worried her version wouldn’t live up to it. I felt awful. I went in and apologized. I explained that she could have the party anyway she wanted; it was her party and I would work with her to make it what she wanted. We talked about it. We apologized for the things we said. We hugged. We both realized we were getting wrapped up in The Party and forgetting the actual event: celebrating my daughter’s birthday.

Now my daughter is thinking of just having a few girls over for a play-date (movies, munchies and video games). I think that’s going to be a great birthday.