first day of school » and another thought

My youngest daughter starts kindergarten this fall. I delayed and delayed registering her not because my daughter’s not ready; she’s more than ready. She’s already made friends with kids who will be in her class. Many students and teachers already know her and greet her everyday in the school yard. The principal herself is so excited to see my daughter start and ‘reminded’ me every day to come in a fill out the paperwork.

No it’s not my daughter who isn’t ready, I think it’s me. I’ve already gone through the first day of kindergarten routine with my two oldest kids. There were the first day of school jitters with my oldest child. My second is so outgoing and had no concern about his entering school (plus I think the whole middle child syndrome played a role but that’s a whole other blog post). But the last child, my baby, is different. I know she’s not a baby, she hasn’t been a baby for a long time, but she still is my youngest. I’ve always had a younger child with me, especially since I started working from home. Yes it can be bothersome at times and make getting things done a little difficult, but we’ve also had fun making towers larger than each other or running errands together. Even when we’re not doing stuff together there’s some comfort hearing her play imaginary games beside me in the office.

I’m excited for my daughter to head to school, to learn new things, to make new friends. I look forward to dinner conversations about who did what at school and my 3 kids sharing private ‘in school’ jokes together. But it also means my youngest is growing up and becoming more independent. Oh my, I’m tearing up as I write this. Crazy right? I mean we’re talking about a half-day of school not joining a foreign mission. I’m sure after the first few days of school pass I will be fine and we still have the summer. But come September if some of my blog posts turn into blubbery messes you’ll understand why.