self-esteem (noun)
1. respect for or a favourable opinion of oneself
2. an unduly high opinion of oneself; vanity
3. pride
Synonyms: amour propre, conceit, confidence, dignity, egotism, morale, narcissism, self-assurance, self-content, self-regard, self-respect, self-satisfaction, vanity, worth
Antonyms: self-deprecation
confidence (noun)
1. full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.
2. belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.
3. certitude; assurance.
Synonyms: aplomb, assurance, backbone, boldness, brashness, certainty, cool, courage, daring, dash, determination, elan, faith in oneself, fearlessness, firmness, fortitude, grit, hardihood, heart, impudence, intrepidity, mettle, morale, nerve, pluck, poise, presumption, reliance, resoluteness, resolution, self-possession, self-reliance, spirit, spunk, sureness, tenacity
Antonyms: uncertainty, unconfidence
self-respect (noun)
1. pride in oneself
Synonyms: amour-propre, conceit, confidence, dignity, egotism, faith in oneself, morale, narcissism, self-assurance, self-content, self-regard, self-satisfaction, vanity, worth
Antonyms: self-doubt, uncertainty
I challenge you, now, find me the word there that talks about weight. Can't find it? How about wrinkles? Or dress size? Or cellulite?
Self-esteem is a word encompassing vast definition, yes, but it does not, at its very core, insult the logophile by talking about appearance. Self-esteem is a state of mind, brought about by the positive. It is not critical to the point of damning and it is not scorning. Well, I suppose it is if you have so much of it that you border or surpass its meaning into conceit, but I don't know a lot of mothers who truly fit that genre. Do you?
Self-esteem, especially in mothers, should be a product of confidence in one's self - in your abilities, accomplishments, ethics and intelligence. In your mothering, career, relationships and talents. If you can run a mile in under five minutes (in which case, I bow deeply), or you simultaneously juggle a full-time career, the demands of family, a gym routine and community involvement (in which case, I bow twice), it doesn't matter. Self-esteem is not measurable by how much, but by how well.
When you look in the mirror, or down, or at photographs, what do you see? The outside, right? - how nicely your hair fell, or the light hit your cheekbones, or even the way your lipstick warmed up your winter complexion. These are not negatives, and in fact, they're all quite lovely, but you're not seeing the person. You're seeing the cover.
You and you and you are a product of your life. For most people, your life is not diet, exercise, makeup, hair products and clothes. Your life is not how much concealer you use, or how long your mascara makes your lashes look.
Your life should be what your self-esteem is based upon.
I'll get off the pulpit for this week, and leave that thought to you. Can you run with it and tell me what internal measure gives you confidence?
